Categories
Cakes Fancy Pantsy

It’s A Marshmallow World. A Lemony, Lovely, Marshmallow Bleepin’ World.

Um, guys? It’s, like, the end of May right? Because… I wore a hat yesterday. And I wasn’t trying to be chic and awesome, I was trying to be warm. This is getting kind of ridiculous, so I’d very much like for someone to pass my displeasure on to whomever might be in charge of the weather. Thanks very much.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about things. I feel like, uh, things have just been moving nonstop for the past few months. I seriously cannot recall the last time I felt like it was okay to just take a breath, lounge around in my ridiculous shipwreck-type attire (my pajama pants ripped like a million months ago but I am too attached to them and too lazy to buy a new pair) and do absolutely nothing. Does anyone else feel like it’s been a particularly busy season? And it’s not even like I’m suddenly really popular or anything, because I think I remain in the “pretty likeable except when she’s hungry” category. I haven’t miraculously skyrocketed to “amazingly perfect and I need to constantly hang out with her” status, nor do I ever want to, to be honest. I think I’d hate that lady.

Truth be told, most of the happenings that have kept me from lazing about like the sloth I wish I were are good happenings.

This post is dedicated to the person represented by the above photo. That's a fancy way of saying my boyfriend prefers to keep his face a secret/animated for this blog.
This post is dedicated to the person represented by the above photo. That’s a fancy way of saying my boyfriend prefers to keep his face a secret/animated for this blog.

The most recent of those good happenings happened to be my boyfriend’s 35th birthday. Now, I almost always hate getting mushy on this blog, but, well, you know… I talk about the dude a lot. Seriously, in addition to being the person who (sometimes begrudgingly) puts up with flour-covered counters and maple-syrup-sticky floors, he’s the handsomest, most talented, best big buddy I have. J, I couldn’t ask for a better roommate–thanks for continuing to let me interrupt you while you’re leisurely reading, keeping you from ever finishing a book in one sitting. I hope to continue this terrible, rude tradition with you for many years to come.

Such things, they call for cake, no?

Now, I’d obviously asked the boy what kind of cake he wanted and gave him very fancy choices until he basically told me I needed to cool my Air India jets and K.I.S.S. (except he did not utter the last “S” since he knows homegirl don’t play that). So, we kept it simple…sweetheart. Lemon cake. Marshmallow frosting. Lots of love and kisses. Let’s do this.

Actually before we do this, I have to share this picture. I live with a neat freak and have no idea how he puts up with me and this hot, hot mess. Um...happy birthday, love?
Actually before we do this, I have to share this picture. I live with a neat freak and have no idea how he puts up with me and this hot, hot mess. Um…happy birthday, love?

Lemon Layer Cake with Marshmallow Frosting (adapted from here and here)

For the cake

2 cups of all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1/2 cup of butter, softened

3 large eggs

1 cup of nonfat buttermilk, or 1 teaspoon of vinegar mixed with close to a cup of skim milk (let sit for 5 minutes if using this)

2 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest

2 tablespoons freshly-squeezed lemon juice

For the frosting

4 egg whites

1 cup of granulated sugar

1/2 cup of light corn syrup

1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

Preheat your oven to 350°F, and grease and flour two 8-inch round cake pans, then line the bottoms of pans with parchment paper. Coat paper with butter and set aside.

In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt, and set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, beat together butter and sugar at medium speed until fluffy, about 5 minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then alternately mix in a portion of flour mixture and buttermilk, beginning and ending with the flour mixture.

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Lastly, beat in lemon zest and juice until all ingredients are fully combined.

Divide the batter evenly between two cake pans, then bake on the middle rack for approximately 32 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a cake comes out clean.

Cool cake in pans for 10 minutes, then remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Now, let’s move on to this frosting. Please note, and this is IMPORTANT, you need to have a cool cake for this. Not, like, awesome, because, duh… it already is. But cool as in recently removed from the refrigerator. Since marshmallow frosting is pretty delicate, it needs a cool surface to rest on, so cool these cakes out.

Now, place a large (and I do mean large, since the frosting will double in size once you start mixing) metal or glass bowl atop a large saucepan filled with barely simmering water. Place all ingredients in bowl, and beat on high speed using a hand mixer.

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Beat until the mixture is thick and fluffy. This will take about 7 minutes so…have a spotter? Remove from heat, and continue to mix until the frosting has cooled slightly. SONY DSC

Using a flat spatula, generously frost the top of one cake, then top with the other cake. Lovingly plop down lots and lots of frosting and start spreading. Really, just go crazy. If you’re lucky, you’ll have tons of frosting leftover to do unspeakable things with. Sorry.

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Isn’t she pretty, balanced precariously on that counter top? Fortunately, I was able to keep it from being a bit too simple thanks to some fun cookie cutters I received as a Christmas present (thanks, Sylvapotamus!):

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Oh…I hope it’s obvious that my boyfriend’s name is Jim. I feel like I’ve never mentioned that before, but I guess it would be awkward and rude if another man’s name topped my boyfriend’s cake. But it’s Jim, and that’s a heart. And that’s because I love Jim.

I wish I had taken a picture of the inside of the cake, but, um, we were at a bar with a bunch of his friends and I was inebriated. Sorry. I feel like I have to be honest with you guys because I love you all. But I’m really relieved to say the cake turned out amazingly well. I even caught my boyfriend stealing a couple more pieces and had the waitress try a piece and give it a thumbs-up. I also enjoyed it but don’t expect you to believe me because… drunk.

Categories
Cakes Classic Favorites Fancy Pantsy Holiday desserts Strange and Yummy

Let’s Celebrate The Terrible Twos With Some Carrot Cake And Polite Conversation

Totally joking about the “polite conversation,” which I’m sure some of my nearest and dearest already knew.

I'm younger than two here I think... but I'm as enormous as most two year-olds are, so let's play pretend.
I’m younger than two here I think… but I’m as enormous as most two year-olds are, so let’s play pretend.

So guys… I totally missed my two-year blogaversary. I think I was maybe busy weeping over something not at all sad and fretting over something not at all important. Which, you know, is totally normal for me. Anyway, I’m also a little bit shocked that we’ve (and I mean it when I say “we” since this blog would be nothing without the kind words I’ve received from its readers) made it to the two-year mark, and I really can’t thank everyone enough who has read this blog, learned from it, commented on it, asked me about it and even just nodded and politely smiled when I mentioned it. It always warms my heart  a little bit when someone mentions that I haven’t posted a new recipe in a while (Hi George! Thanks George!). It also kind of kicks my butt and reminds me to actually get to it.

I’d like to end this section with a little bit of sap, since we all know I’m dangerously and probably unhealthily obsessed with all things sugar. This blog has been with me through some very trying times, and in some way has pulled me through all of them. Originally I started this thinking that only maybe Sylvapotamus and my Dad would read this thing. Of course, I was wrong, in that while  Sylvapotamus is a loyal reader, my Dad kind of hates my blog I think. But I’ve also reached other people, people who’ve found this thing all on their own and miraculously enjoyed it. Thank each and every one of you.

Okay now, let’s all dry our tears, cowboy up and get to it. The following recipe is one adapted from a recent issue of Better Homes and Gardens, which, truthfully, has bettered both my home and my windowsill (this is our garden for now, please don’t judge). Let’s talk about Mango Carrot Cake friends!

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Mango Carrot Cake (makes one 2-layer cake)

For the cake

2 cups of all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon of baking powder

1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg, optional

1 stick of butter, softened

1 cup of granulated sugar

2 eggs

3/4 cup of refrigerated mango juice blend (I used this ridiculously good Trader Joe’s blend, but you can really use any kind you like)

3 cups of shredded carrot (about 3 to 4 large carrots)

For the frosting

1 8-ounce package of cream cheese or Neufchâtel cheese

1/2 stick of butter

2 cups of confectioner’s sugar

For the fancy carrot ribbons

1 large carrot

1 bowl ice water

Preheat your oven to 350°F and butter and flour two 8-inch round cake pans.

In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and nutmeg (if using), and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, or using a hand mixer, beat butter on high until fluffy, then gradually add in sugar until combined. With the mixer still going, on medium speed, add in eggs one at a time, until fully incorporated.

I must promote this stuff, because it is ridiculous and I'm praying someone sends me some.
I must promote this stuff, because it is ridiculous and I’m praying someone sends me some.

Now, alternate between adding the flour mixture and the mango juice into the butter/egg/sugar mixture, beginning and ending with the flour, just until everything is combined. Take it slow, young Jedis. Do NOT over-mix this batter. Fold in your shredded carrots, and divide this thing between your two cake pans.

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Send into the oven for 25 minutes, until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out with just a few crumbs sticking to it. Let cool in pans for 10 minutes, then remove from pans and cool completely.

Now, let’s work on that frosting, which is super easy, by the way. In the bowl of your stand mixer, beat cream cheese until fluffy,  then mix in butter until combined, then slowly add in confectioner’s sugar until the consistency and taste is exactly how you want it. The end! Wait…not the end… using a rubber spatula, evenly and generously spread over the top of one cake. Then, place other cake on top of this one and enjoy your cake sandwich. No, spread more frosting on top of this cake, and then you can enjoy your cake sandwich.

Now, if you’d like to get super fancy with this thang (and I did since this was an Easter dessert), make some carrot ribbons. Using a vegetable peeler, peel off strands of one carrot, then place in a bowl of ice water for 30 minutes. Drain and dry these completely, then add to the top of your cake and you will have…

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YUM-NESS. The mango juice adds just the right amount of sweetness while keeping the cake nice and moist. It’s certainly very, very different from your traditional carrot cake, but a must-do if you’re looking to try something new, fun and fancy. Me likey all these things.

An aerial shot, just to torture you. <3
An aerial shot, just to torture you. ❤
Categories
Cakes Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Hi, I’m Sad Shibow, And I’m Kind Of A Mess. Let’s Have A Good Cry About It Over Some Cake.

BECAUSE I HAVE AN ULCER AND A COLD AND STRESS AND EXISTENTIAL CRISES AND…

How about you?

Yeah, so my feeling is the ulcer realized I was enjoying my pudding and ice cream far too much and decided to royally screw me by throwing a cold my way. Do you know what I like to have when I’m sick? Orange juice. Do you know what I can’t have due to my ulcer? Orange juice. Do you know what’s been calming my aching belly through this ulcer? Dairy products. Guess what I can’t have too much of when I’m sick? Well pudding and ice cream, of course! Do you know what really helps the constant headache that lovingly accompanies the common cold? Aspirin. And I think I can stop there.

Now, I know that FAR worse could have happened. I could have the awful flu strain that has plagued much of the country (Btw, any of you who do have it, I send you so many hugs. The flu is pure hell, and if there is anything I can do to help any of you through it, I will. Seriously, let me know.), and I am very grateful that I do not. I hope to continue to not have it. Please, powers that be, please. I already miss being pain-free. Please do not make me miss being mobile, too.

So, before all of this nonsense occurred, there was cake. Specifically, Christmas cake. Well, actually, there was nothing really Christmas-y about the actual cake, I just felt like waking up to it on Christmas morning, so..you know…Christmas cake!

By the way, three weeks too late, how was everyone’s Christmas? Mine ruled. I got a ukulele! It’s so perfect. I can’t stop talking about it/playing it (Sorry neighbors. But not really sorry, because I’m kind of terrible.) Also, I made the most amazing fritatta. I am so proud of this thing. Want to see?

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Ok, maybe I’m the only one who thinks this is amazing. Honestly I’m not feeling too wonderfully about myself these days, so hell, I’ll take what I can get. And if what I can get is a pretty-damn-delicious fritatta and a lemon olive oil cake, I’ll take both. And I’ll have seconds. And thirds. Don’t judge me.

Lemon Olive Oil Cake (makes one 9″ round cake)

4 large eggs

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Zest of 1 lemon

Juice of 2 lemons

Powdered sugar for serving, optional

Preheat your oven to 350ºF, and butter and flour a 9″ cake pan.

In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, beat together eggs and sugar on high speed, until pale and fluffy. With the mixer still on, pour olive oil and lemon juice into mixture, then turn off mixture and gently fold ingredients together using a rubber spatula.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt and zest, then gently fold into batter until all ingredients are fully incorporated. Pour into pan and bake for 45 minutes.

Let the cake cool in the pan for about 10 minutes, then invert onto a serving platter and dust with powdered sugar if you please.

I’m going to be honest with you: when this cake first came out of the oven, I “hmphed” at it and gave it the evil side-eye. It looked a little, well, drab. However, if you let it breathe for a bit (about an hour), you’ll get this:

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Need another look? Okay. You’ll also get this:

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Want to see again? How’s this:

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Um… gorgeous, right? I was pleasantly surprised. Boyfriend was in love with this thing. It really made an already lovely morning even lovelier. And honestly, as SOON as I’m all healed up, I am making this again. It was the perfect morning treat. It’s not terribly sweet or heavy, so you won’t feel disgusting first thing in the morning (at least not because of the cake. Sometimes I wake up a little gross, and eventually get down to acceptable by the end of day). Yum.

Oh, and by the way, I’m at sadshibow.com now! No more having to type in those pesky extra nine letters, fellow lazies! Woo-hoo for being mistress of my own domain!

Categories
Cakes Cheesecakes Chocolate Cheer Fancy Pantsy

Saying Goodbye To An Old Evil Friend….And Saying Hello To Cheesecake

Before I continue, there’s still time to donate any items you can to Sandy victims. From what I’ve been hearing, clothing donations and food donations, while appreciated, are no longer as necessary as money is. Also, many people are in need of cleaning supplies to get their houses back in some semblance of order, so anything you can do would be wonderful. This is probably the best place to do your donating. Thanks!

So it’s about to get real in here, readers.

Today my boyfriend posted some really awful news on my Facebook page. Did you hear? You must have. Do I even need to say it? Ok, fine, since you insist. Hostess is closing.

I need to say that again: HOSTESS IS CLOSING. Oh it hurts me so.

I guess I should tell you all, since I’ve kept it secret long enough. I don’t really care about Hostess treats. I can make my own damn Twinkies, and they sure as hell won’t be preserved and stabilized so as to survive the apocalypse. But Hostess owns Drake’s. When I was in high school, I basically kept Drake’s afloat all by myself. How, you ask? Um… ok… this is sort of humiliating, but as this is my blog and I do have to share stuff sometimes, here goes…

Does anyone else find it odd that the words “artificially flavored” and “freshness guaranteed” are on the same box? How did that escape me back then?

Now, I kind of really hated high school. I went to a pretty competitive, stressful one and was constantly anxious about something. I’m not much different now, but that’s for another sobby post. Anyway, so I was quiet and sad pretty much all the time for the first, oh, three years. And all the time I did not spend with other people was spent with the above handheld pies. They look disgusting, right? I know. But they treated me so well. And they were delicious! They were reliable, they were sweet, and they just kept showing up to comfort me. That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever typed, and I used to write some depressing stuff, man (yep, I’m letting it all hang out for you guys). I actually remember my little sister reaching inside of the box more than once, hoping to taste this glorious treat herself, only to be disappointed and perplexed that there was no pie to grasp. I’m honestly not sure if, to this day, she’s ever had the [dis?]pleasure of tasting one of these. Now as you can see, there are eight pies in each box. No one else in my family was really into these. And there are eight pies in each box. And there were many boxes purchased. I think you understand what I’m trying to tell you.

So, eventually, my dad got hip to my habit. I think it took my pediatrician not-so-gently explaining that my cholesterol was alarmingly bad and that I was starting to get kind of huge. And then the pies were gone from my life. And I haven’t had one since. Nor can I, for I fear relapse.

So now I’m in good standing health-wise, thanks to my abstinence from these fruit-filled Satan squares. I’m happy to have kicked the habit, but, well, I’m also kind of sad that I’ll never see them again. I mean, maybe I would have wanted one, one day. Just a taste, you know? And now I’ll just never even have the option. Farewell, old friends. Ugh, you treated me so poorly. See you in Hell.

Are you as sad as I am? No? Do you really just want to hear about a Peanut Butter Cheesecake I made? You’re right, I understand. Let’s talk about that.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake With Chocolate Ganache Topping (makes one 9″ round cake)

For the crust

1 1/2 cups of graham cracker crumbs

6 tablespoons of softened butter

For the cheesecake portion

12 oz of cream cheese or Neufchatel cheese, softened

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

1/2 cup +2 tablespoons of peanut butter (I actually used all-natural, which I found to be amazing, but you can use whatever you’d prefer, just make sure it’s stirred well!)

1 1/2 oz of semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled (I used chocolate chips)

1 egg

1/2 cup of heavy cream

1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

First, preheat your oven to 350ºF, grease a 9″ springform pan, and bring a large pot of water to a boil. We’ll be using the water as a “bath” for the cheesecake, since this will help keep the air in the oven moist and keep the top of the cheesecake from cracking. Also, cover the of your springform in foil if you’re worried about leaks.

In the bowl of a stand-mixer or hand mixer, cream together cream cheese, peanut butter, sugar and chocolate until the mixture is smooth. Mix in your egg, then blend in heavy cream and vanilla until everything is fully combined.

Pour the batter into your springform pan, and place this pan in a larger pan, then pour your boiling water into the larger pan so it reaches about halfway up the sides of the springform. Very carefully place this whole thing into the oven and bake for 25 to 30 minutes– so that it appears almost done but still jiggles around in the center quite a bit.

Now, this is a great tip from the author of this recipe: once you’ve determined the cake is done, don’t remove from the oven. Turn the oven off and let the cake sit in the oven as it cools down, which will allow the cake to cook completely without burning or curdling. This should take about an hour. After the hour’s up, remove the cake from the water bath and allow it to cool on your counter for another hour before placing in the fridge until you’re ready to add your ganache.

Chocolate Ganache (Hell yes)

2 oz of semisweet chocolate chips

1/4 cup of heavy cream

1 tablespoon of softened butter

Place chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Now, in a small saucepan, bring your heavy cream to a boil and then pour half of it over your chocolate. Let this mixture sit for about 30 seconds, and then gently whisk the mixture in small circles, starting in the middle of the bowl and working your way out in larger circles. Then pour in the remainder of the cream and repeat the circular motions until you’ve got something shiny and smooth. Stir in your butter and mix just until it’s incorporated. Pour the ganache over your cake and refrigerate until it’s been set.

Now, I added some pecan bits to the top to be fancy…do as you please, readers 🙂

Yes, I realize that thing is WAY too close to the edge of the counter, but don’t worry, miraculously nothing awful happened. I’d be pissed after all of the work I put into this cake. So, was it worth the effort? Well, I’m not going to say yes. I’M GOING TO SAY HELL YES. It’s coming close to being an all-time favorite cake. We actually had some guests over after this was made, who agreed that it was super delicious. Fortunately we had a whole half to ourselves once our guests left.

And you know it didn’t go to waste. 😉

Categories
Cakes Chocolate Cheer

Double Hot Fudge Something Or Other I Am In A Rut Help Me Because I Am In a Rut Oh And Here’s That Cake I Mentioned

Before I start on all of the bad stuffs, let me just brag about the good for a minute, if just so that this image is the first (or, um, second, after my creepy eyes in the banner above) that is seen when this post is published.

*cue the angels crooning*

This is THE stand mixer my boyfriend gave me for my birthday. It’s beautiful, and I teared up a little bit. Isn’t it beautiful? Sweet Jeebus, it is. I can’t. I can’t even. I’ve almost forgotten the bad. The bad…bad…oh wait.

There it is.

GRR.

Well, this is a blog about a sad lady baking, so I guess you came here knowing what to expect. Or, at least, I hope you did. The cake I’m going to talk about today is one I actually made about three weeks ago, but I’m still catching up on a bunch of things, including writing this very blog, so forgive me, please. Or don’t forgive me and run away. You’ll miss a concert featuring the tiniest violin, but that’s your loss I guess.

YOU GUYS. Seriously, I am in such a funk that I can’t even talk about it. The good thing (for this blog, at least, since it’s been pretty bad for my waistline 😦 ) is that I’ve kind of been baking like a madwoman to attempt to reverse the effects of said funk. You can see how well this has been working, I’m sure.

I guess that ever since my birthday I’ve been evaluating and examining what I’ve been doing with myself, and it’s getting me down. I suppose I’d hoped to feel more…capable by this age, and I don’t. I have no idea what to do with my life, peoples. Any and all suggestions (except ANY involving Stamos, ugh, gross) would be welcomed with open arms.

Oh, also, do you know what I just realized? I have no idea what my favorite cake is! How the hell does a person who runs  a baking blog not know this? How have I lived my whole life this way? It makes no sense. Do I just not like cake? Isn’t that something you should just be able to kind of recall? I find this very strange.

Why am I choosing now to talk about this? Well, around my birthday I got the lame idea to sit in my kitchen and feel sorry for myself by baking myself a cake. But then, I realized I didn’t know what it was I wanted. Story of my life, kids :(. Sigh.

Anyway, I decided to just make something, so I pulled a recipe for a Double Chocolate Hot Fudge Sundae cake out of my favorite flipping recipe book ever. Thank you, Betty. Thank you even just for the name of this cake. Let’s get started, friends.

Double Chocolate Hot Fudge Sundae Cake (I can’t tell you how many servings because I’m embarrassed at how quickly two people finished this)

1 cup of all-purpose flour

3/4 cup of granulated sugar

2 tablespoons + 1/4 cup of cocoa powder, separated

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/2 cup of milk

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1/2 cup of chopped pecans (optional but also awesomenal, please add these)

1/2 cup of chocolate chips

1 cup of brown sugar

1 3/4 cup of very hot water

Ok, another amazeballs thing about this recipe is that it is made directly in the pan, which means if you’re feeling lazy and kind of sad and zombie-like these days (ahem), there won’t be much for you to do in the way of clean-up. Yay!

Oh, also, did you know that you could sub two tablespoons of molasses for every cup granulated sugar for a cup of brown sugar? This is something I needed to know as my stash of brown sugar was gone (tragedy). Take a look (but do a better job mixing the two together than I did).

So, preheat your oven to 350°F. Now, in a 9×9″ un-greased square pan, mix your flour, granulated sugar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa, baking powder and salt together. Stir in milk, oil and vanilla until the batter is smooth, then fold in nuts and chocolate chips. Sprinkle the 1/4 cup of cocoa powder and cup of brown sugar evenly over the top, and then pour hot water over the mixture.

Send the pan into the oven for 40 minutes, or until the top is dry. Let cake cool for about 5 minutes, then scoop into dishes and top with ice cream if you’ve got any (I didn’t have any! The hits just keep on coming!).

Now, while I enjoyed this cake warm, I freaking overdosed on it cold. It is amazing after a day in the refrigerator. I suppose it’s just easier to appreciate all of the different textures of the cake when it’s cool. I like to tell myself that that is why I kept visiting this cake in the fridge…to appreciate it.

So, is this my favorite cake? No, no it is not. I will certainly be making it again, but the search continues for the one cake that will solve all of my many problems (yup, I took it there). Stay tuned, readers.