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The Five Year Disengagement

11 Apr

I know, I know.

But how do YOU know I wasn’t on a crime-fighting spree, or a long holiday, or in prison because I got caught during an unsanctioned crime-fighting spree? 

We’ve been watching a lot of Daredevil. And I caught the new Batman/Superman epic. So pretty much I’m now convinced I could very easily become the superhero no one really wants, but probably deserves. Sad Shibow: the clunkily-named, oft-depressed baker with astonishingly terrible reflexes, an unhealthy love of [street] justice, and a tendency to totally neglect her blog. 

But YOU try spilling your figurative innards for an online audience! It’s very exhausting, sometimes fun, extremely scary, and mostly I’m over it. That’s right! It is time to dial back the sadsies in favor of coming up with new and interesting ways to take down the corrupt, infuriating, totally useless MTA with my subpar fight methods and devastating verbal takedowns.

Whoops. That’s for a different blog entirely. Anyhoo, let’s really real talk: I completely blanked on the five year anniversary of this blog, which was a week ago. And as much as I hate to admit this, I really would not have remembered it without Facebook Memories, which I think is a function that mostly blows but proved somewhat useful in this case. It lit a fire under my brown tush, a fire it badly needed as it has been unseasonably nippy and my butt is usually the first thing to get cold. This is all relevant, I promise. Maybe not the butt stuff so much, but we can’t very well go back now, can we?

Anyway, a couple of months ago, Something Happened. It’s dumb to be vague, but I’m still working through it. One little baby thread on a very large and poorly made sweater was pulled, and the whole damned POS came undone, pretty quickly, too. I went through a period where I questioned my talents as a writer and wondered if I should just shut this blog down, because it’s exhausting to talk about money probz and why Stamos is still popular (TWO shows?! You give him TWO, cruel world?!), and I wasn’t really baking very much anyway. I also questioned what I do for a living, my hair, my life choices, the way I freaking made eggs, and even–steady yourselves– whether or not Road House was a legitimately good film (I know, you guys, I know. OF COURSE IT IS.) So, yeah, I was totally in a solid place mentally, which is essentially why I avoided writing or baking or doing anything I loved: it felt a little pointless. The big questions were “Do I want to be doing this?” And, more importantly, “Is there room for me in a world that gives John Stamos two shows?” 

Maybe. 

This blog is going to be going through a bit of an evolution, because if Daredevil has taught me anything, it’s this: adapt and get yourself a new, badass, almost indestructible superhero suit or die. So, today, to both celebrate the past FIVE wonderful, tumultuous, fun, funny, ridiculous years of this blog and hopefully toast to an equally interesting future, let me catch you up on the past few months, while hoping you’ll all join me for more nonsense in the future:

Choc-o-late Death Stars

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And Peep Cakes with ‘staches

 

uh…Snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes

My special take on some yummy “Ring Dings”

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These are a few of my favorite things.

WHEN THIS DOG BITES

IT F*CKING STINGS

(But he’s pretty rad)

I’m fully aware this song’s totes amazing 

(I know that it sucks. Real bad.)

(Also, look guys! I made babka and Kouign-Amann, and both were very complicated and very buttery and involved a lot of layering and twisting which required more upper body strength than I’d ever expect for something you’re just going to gorge on in your apartment while binge Netflixing. But they’re PRETTY, no?)

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And, bakers and non-bakers, this is delightful

Leggo My Holiday Depression. That Was Bad. It’s A Post About Waffle Cookies.

17 Dec

Guys. I am so unmotivated that yesterday I decided to randomly take an IQ test to see how much dumber I’ve gotten over the years. Guess what? I’m not dumber at all! I’m smarter by a FULL POINT! And according to the scale, I’m “gifted but too freaking lazy and unmotivated and whiny to do a damn thing about it.” That’s an actual quote from the test! No it’s not! But it might as well be! So, it would be very easy to take the results of that test and beat the crap out of myself. It would, in fact, be the easiest thing. But I’ve slowly started to realize a few things. Maybe it’s the holiday season that’s warmed my cold heart. Maybe it’s the free Glen Hansard show that I creepily found out about and subsequently attended (it was life-changing and mind-blowing, thanks for asking!). Maybe it’s just maturity…but probably not that, since about an hour ago I had a long, angry conversation with my younger sister over a grudge I’ve been holding against a relative who dismembered my Zack Morris doll when he was five. The Zack Morris doll has been replaced. The emotions have not.

This is our Christmas tree. It may not seem like much, but it brings me a disturbing amount of joy.

This is our Christmas tree. It may not seem like much, but it brings me a disturbing amount of joy.

I think this is the time to try and live life as fully as it can possibly be lived. I’m not going to get any younger than I am right this second, so I think it’s time to just will myself to start. I have a habit of waiting– waiting for things to get better, for life to get less stressful, for more money to come in, for my life to measure up to the lives of others, for the fun to just start already. And thanks to that terrible habit, I know I have missed out on some great things. I once read that it’s really, really important to celebrate every good thing that happens to you, because once it’s gone, it’s gone, and you won’t have any way to remember how wonderful you felt if you don’t take even just a moment to be grateful, be surprised, and be happy. So I’m going to try to stop and celebrate every now and then. I figure that I spend so much time and energy complaining (91 posts and counting, guys! How are you all still reading this blog?), that I have some to devote to trying to be happy. I hope you’ll all join me, or at least try to. You know what would help? Waffle cookies. Waffle cookies would help for so many reasons. The first reason is they consist of three of the most awesome things known to man and woman: waffles, cookies, and chocolate. If there is a better triple threat to be found, tell me. But for now, let’s work!

Chocolate Chip Waffle Cookies (makes one dozen cookies)

adapted from How to Simplify

1/2 cup of brown sugar

2 tablespoons of white sugar (omit if you want a deeper flavor)

1/2 cup of butter, melted (browned if you want a nuttier flavor, which I did)

1 large egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 cup of chocolate chips

Confectioner’s sugar, for dusting (optional)

You need one. I promise.

You need one. I promise.

Now, grease and preheat your waffle iron. If you do not have a waffle iron, please purchase one immediately. It will change your life in only the best ways. Combine your sugar, butter, egg and vanilla and stir until mixed. Stir in flour and baking soda and continue until batter forms. Fold in chocolate chips, then drop batter onto iron by the tablespoon. Close iron, and heat for about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes, until the cookies are a golden brown. Very gently lift cookies using tongs, and place on wire racks to cool. Dust with confectioner’s sugar if you’d like. SONY DSC   SONY DSC     Now, if you have a waffle iron, these will be ridiculously easy. If you do not, these will be impossible, so I’m very sorry and I’d be happy to drop some off at your place if you’d like. Really, I would, because these are so easy and fast and make other people very, very happy. I brought these to work as part of a holiday bucket o’ cookies, and two separate people have asked me to make them again. Now that’s something to celebrate. Speaking of celebrate, I hope you’ll all join me in supporting a good cause this holiday season. No Kid Hungry is a wonderful organization that provides hot meals for children across the country. Did you know that 1 in 5 American children lives in poverty? Twenty percent!!! That breaks my heart. If you can, please donate. If you can’t, please share the link, and either way, have a lovely, lovely holiday season.

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