Category: Desserts with Fruit

Categories
Cakes Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Strange and Yummy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Fancy. Weird. Delicious. Well I’m Flattered, But No, We’re Not Talking About Me Silly!

Nyuk nyuk.

And here we conclude the BARBEQUE FEAST/DESSERT EXTRAVAGANZAAAA trilogy that began many moons ago…or like one moon ago. How does that phrase work exactly? Anyone?

Ok, while we all figure that out, let’s chat about shaky ground. I’m feeling like I’m on some. Maybe that’s too strong, but I’m still feeling pretty down. There was one day this week where I’m fairly sure all I ate were chocolate chip banana pancakes, peanut butter, vanilla ice cream and more peanut butter. Life has not been filled with rainbows, friends. It’s been filled with peanut butter and tears. And that is not a blogworthy combination.

So, what the problem is? Well, what the problem is…is lots of things. Future, past, present, atmosphere, apartment, landlord, oven, mean folks, STAMOS (thought I forgot about that monster, huh?), Mercury in retrograde. It just…is. 😦

So…yeah, stressed. I’d elaborate, but I’m pretty sure we’d all really rather hear about something called a Honey, Fig and Rosemary Cake, right? Thought so.

Before I start in on this, does anyone else have trouble finding figs? It should not be as hard as it is. After all, as my mother will tell you, Jesus ate figs. And hey, if they’re good enough for the big J…

Anyway, it sh0uld just be easier.  Ok, let’s get weird.

Honey, Fig and Rosemary Cake (makes one 9-in round cake)

For the cake

2 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

3/4 cup of granulated sugar

2 tablespoons of fresh rosemary, chopped as coarsely as possible

1 tablespoon of freshly and finely-grated lemon zest

6 tablespoons of softened butter

1/4 cup of Rosemary-infused extra virgin olive oil (you can just use regular, but the boyfriend made it and I HIGHLY recommend it)

2 large eggs

1/4 cup of honey

1 cup of milk, room temperature (I used skim)

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

For the Fig Topping

2 tablespoons of butter

12 figs, stemmed and cut in half lengthwise

Salt and pepper

1/2 cup of honey

Preheat your oven to 350°F (yes, you’re using your oven, yes it’s worth it like crazy).

Grease a 9-ince springform or regular cake pan. If you’re using a springform pan, make sure you really grease it, or else it will be a pain in the backside to remove the actual baked cake, and you’ll let loose a string of incredibly creative and incredibly bad, bad words. This is a classy cake, so you don’t really want to be throwing around non-classy language.

You may have noticed that I’ve tweaked some parts of the recipe a bit, which I often do because it’s fun and because I sometimes forget to buy one–ONE– ingredient called for in the original. In this case, I’ve opted for lemon zest. With this, we’re going to make a rosemary-lemon sugar, and because of this, you’re going to love me. Now, you can either pulse together your lemon zest, sugar and rosemary until completely blended or toss in a small bowl and set aside. I opted for the latter, because tossing stuff is easy and I do not own fancy contraptions.

In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt, and set aside.

In a large bowl, beat together butter, oil and rosemary-lemon sugar with a hand mixer on medium speed until fully incorporated and light. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then add your honey and mix just until combined. Now, with the mixer on low, alternate between adding in the flour mixture and adding in the milk. Make sure everything’s mixed together fully. Add in vanilla and then beat for another 10 seconds or so.

Oh, if you’re not crying out “MOTHER OF PEARL, THIS SMELLS AMAZING!” by now, you either hate rosemary or forgot something. Re-check, then proclaim your joy.

Using a rubber spatula, scrape all of the batter into your greased pan, then send into the oven for 40 to 45 minutes, rotating the cake about halfway through the process, and bake until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove cake from pan and let it cool on a rack for about an hour.

Now, to make the figs. Melt your butter in a large skillet over medium heat until it begins to brown and smell a little nutty (YOU SMELL A LITTLE NUTTY!). Add in your figs and season with a bit of salt and pepper, to taste. Cook for about 3 minutes, until the figs start to soften. Stir in your honey and remove the figs from heat.

Level the top of the cake a bit (this is optional, to be honest), then pour your fig-honey mixture over the top, making sure the round is as evenly covered as possible. Serve immediately.

So, on to the verdict. I elected to level the cake top a bit, mostly so that I could have an excuse to try the actual cake. I am a person with little self control when it comes to sweets. This is my curse. This is my blessing. Anyway, OMG. The cake was moist, sweet, fragrant and had the perfect, perfect hint of rosemary. I kind of need it in my life again, right now.

I mean…you’re seeing this right? Imagine tasting it. Oh, you can’t imagine it? Then MAKE THIS. Make it, now. Please make it now. Invite me over, and we’ll make it together. Even Almond Joycha liked it! God, I miss this cake.

Categories
Desserts with Fruit Easy Baking Frozen Desserts Grown Up People Desserts No-Bake Recipes

Frozen Boozy Fruit Pops. Or Sangria Poptails, If You’re Feeling Fancy.

And we’re always feeling fancy here, aren’t we? Oh, you’re not? Well, this is uncomfortable.

Anyway, let’s just fake it ’til we make it, shall we? Oh, you can’t? Why are you being so difficult today? You know what you sound like? You sound like a person in need of sangria. Frozen sangria. It’s on a stick. Just trust me.

Yes, this is another entry from The Party That Ruled The Roof (Bacon Sundae Party? Ringin’ a bell? Yay!), and it is so. worth. making. Basically, I wanted something cool (literally and figuratively, because I am soulful and deep in that way) and sophisticated (to make up for the fact that I am not) that our guests would enjoy and not spill on themselves and on my white tank top. Enter the sangria pop! It’s fruity, it’s light, and it’s BOOOOOOZY! Let’s roll, adults!

White Sangria Poptails (makes 12 Dixie cup pops)

1 1/2 cups of pinot grigio, divided

1 1/2 cups of Orange Peach Mango juice (Sorry for the product placement, but this is, like, the perfect juice for this. You can also use a combination of peach juice and orange juice if you want)

1 1/2 cups of mixed chopped fruit (I used mangoes, pineapples, grapes and raspberries. I highly recommend this most excellent combo)

2 tablespoons of lime or lemon juice (I used lime)

In a medium-sized bowl, combine 1 cup of your pinot grigio with all of your chopped fruit and set aside for about 20 minutes.

Pretty, no?

Once the 20 minutes is up, strain the fruit out, making sure to save the now-infused wine. Evenly distribute the chopped fruit amongst your popsicle molds/Dixie cups.

Then, take your fruit-infused cup of wine and mix with 1 cup of your Orange Mango Peach Juice and lime/lemon juice. Pour into molds, evenly distributing among them. Top each mold off with the remaining 1/2 cup of pinot and remaining 1/2 cup of juice. Lightly stir, then send into the freezer for about an hour. When the pops begin to freeze, insert a popsicle stick into each, and allow to freeze completely, at least three hours.

So, what was the consensus? First, it was… wtf?! Then it was…oh…oh, yes, new friend, hello. Then it was…hazy. These are pretty strong, so make sure you’re not downing one before operating a tractor or anything. For reals.

Honestly, these were YUMMY. I “accidentally” made too many and now have a freezer full of these, which, you know, makes life super difficult/delicious. HIGHLY recommended.

Categories
Desserts with Fruit Easy Baking Frozen Desserts No-Bake Recipes Sort of Healthy Strange and Yummy Vegan Desserts

Deep Thoughts With Sad Shibow [Feat. Avocado Pops]

As you all know, life is rough. As you all also know, I often like to complain about how rough life is. I’m not going to bore you because I’ll seem redundant, and these days if you’d like a refresher on something I’ve said in the past, all you have to do is type some words into the search bar and find your prize. Alls I’ve got to say is that sometimes being an adult is no picnic. Every now and then it’s a ten-course meal at a five-star restaurant. But sometimes it’s just a bowl of cereal from that box of Cheerios you’ve had in your pantry forever.

Wasn’t kidding about those deep thoughts. 😉

Now, let’s be real. Last week was tough on me. In addition to dealing with life’s everyday stresses, I found myself coping with some rather unfriendly behavior from people I believed were in my corner. It was pretty heartbreaking, especially since it involved hurting not only me, but people I deeply love. And no one messes with the loves of Sad Shibow.

So, here I am feeling low thanks to some randoms trying to put together a Bollywood puppet show (Get it? Pulling strings? And I’m Indian? Deep thoughts!) when what do I see on Facebook but Butter Lane‘s latest Blogger of the Week, and it’s…

Sylvapotamus brought to my attention that this says “worldpress.” What the hell, I say, I’ll take it!

Me! You guys, they picked me! Now, this may seem small to a lot of people, and hey, it is sort of small in the grand scheme of things. But to me, it’s huge, and not only because this place has the BEST cupcakes I have ever allowed into my belly. So, what’s the big deal?

Half of the dozen cupcakes we picked up this weekend. You can’t still be wondering why I love this place so.

About a year and a half ago, around my 24th birthday, I was in a not-so-great place, for many many reasons. I was so down that I’d lost the desire to do pretty much anything I enjoyed, including bake. I happened to see something somewhere on the great many internets about cupcake classes at Butter Lane, and decided to woman up and book a class. It was so entertaining and enlightening that it made me finally want to get back into my own kitchen. When my boyfriend recently asked me why I loved the place so much, I told him that it basically made me grateful for things again. So…thank you, BL. DEEP THOUGHTS!

Ok, onto the make-stuff portion. Originally I was going to tell you all about the delicious, easy-peasy cookie dough ice pops I made. While they were, indeed, pretty simple to make, I found them to be kind of gross. This is not the fault of the author of this recipe at all. It is, instead, my bad, for believing that skim milk could, and should, always take the place of whole milk. In life, I’ll usually try to take the healthier route when it comes to my eating habits (I say “in life”  expecting you all to pretty much ignore every buttery post on here for a hot second). I do the whole wheat bread instead of white thing, the no-soda thing, boringboringblah you get it.  I’ve even convinced myself that I enjoyed frozen yogurt much more than I enjoyed ice cream. And while I do like to get my Yogo on every now and then, I recently discovered that I was, to put it as  eloquently as possible, trippin’. Ice cream > fro-yo. Who knows what else I’ve brainwashed myself into believing was right. Wait… so just to check… is steak any good?

Anyway, we’re dealing with another odorous NYC heat wave. Everyone smells like the aquarium (Why doesn’t anyone know what that smells like?!) and I’m super cranky all the time, so obviously you best believe I’m not going near the oven. Oh, and, we did kind of just buy and eat a dozen cupcakes over here, so we need something a teensy bit light. Let’s make avocado pops! Weird enough for you? In case they’re not, check these out!

Now, ya’ll know I’ve been meaning to make these forever, but I guess it got cold again before I could. So…yeah. Let’s just do this.

Avocado Pops (Uh, makes, like, a set number of pops, and that number is determined by what you decide to use as molds)

1 cup of water

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

2 small ripe avocados

Pinch of salt

2 tablespoons of fresh lime juice

I used paper Dixie cups, FYI.

Combine the water and sugar in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Let cool to room temperature. This is known as simple syrup, and can also be used for your boozy mixed drink of choice, should you be 21+ and need such information.

Meanwhile, peel and pit your two avocados, and mash the flesh in a medium-sized bowl until smooth. Add in salt and lime juice, then stir in your simple syrup. You can use a blender or mixer if you’re feeling lazy ;).

Pour into your molds and send into the freezer for at least 5 hours. I filled my Dixie cups about halfway, and ended up with five pops.

The night we first tasted these was an excellent night. There was champagne, an even split of the last Butter Lane cupcake, and a viewing of Blues Brothers (I’d never seen it! It was so awesome!). So, how’d these pops do?

Yes, those are toothpicks, which are actually useless. Do better than Shibow did, kids. Do better.

I loooooooved these things. LOVED them. They’re creamy, tangy, sweet and unbelievably refreshing. I’m sad I only ended up with five, but happy they are super easy, because these are being made again ASAP.

Categories
Classic Favorites Desserts with Fruit Muffins

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. Most Good Deeds Are Very Awkward. Let’s Make Muffins.

Saturday morning I went for a run through our pretty, pretty neighborhood with my boyfriend. Usually, after these jogs/walks/eventual gasp-filled staggers, I try to persuade him to steal someone’s copy of the New York Times for me (jokingly, lest anyone in my ‘hood suspect their stolen papers have been brought to my lair). Of course, he never complies, beacon of morality that he is.

Can someone help me with this crossword? I’ve been working on it since Saturday. Now you can all see how cultured I am, and how cultured I am not. I’ve barely filled in a third of this thing 😦

So, on this particular morning, we happened to pass a neighbor who was retrieving her copy from the doorstep and noticed that she had received two papers for some reason. We alerted her to this and she was generous enough to give us her second copy. Nice, right? We introduced ourselves, and eventually to show my gratitude I offered to make her some muffins.

I’m sure none of us took me very seriously (yes, I am including me). Still, Sunday morning, I awoke with the intention to bake. Like I said, I’ve missed it. And I’m trying to be a woman of my word these days. And she gave us the Sunday Times! She deserved some baked goods. Blueberry baked goods at that. My new favorite cookbook once again assists.

Blueberry Muffins (makes a dozen)

3/4 cup of milk

1/4 cup of vegetable oil or melted butter

1 egg

2 cups of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup of fresh or frozen blueberries (this says you can also use canned blueberries but…gross)

2 tablespoons of coarse sugar or granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 400°F and grease the bottoms of a 12-cup muffin tin. You know what I found out from this very book? Greasing the sides of pans when making muffins or breads can actually burn and crisp up the sides, giving an unwanted crust on your goods. So only grease your bottoms. That was weird, I realize this.

In a large bowl, whisk together milk, oil or butter and egg until fully mixed. Then, all at once, stir in flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Now, and this is important, stir until you’ve got a lumpy mess. Do NOT try to smooth this batter out. Stir just until the flour has all been moistened, or you’ll come out with a dozen dry blueberry rocks. Not delicious.

Lumpy batter.

Next, very carefully fold in your blueberries. Try not to upset the batter too much, as we don’t want to overmix. Evenly distribute among your muffin cups, and sprinkle the tops with coarse or granulated sugar.

Send these into the oven for about 20 to 25 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through baking, and remove when the tops are golden brown.

Gooey Sunday Breakfast

Let these cool for about 10 minutes in the pan, then pop out and eat while warm. Oh, please eat them warm.

Obviously we had to keep a few  six of these behind to test them. All six passed. 😉

Now, you’re probably wondering about the title of this post. So, once I was done making these muffins, my boyfriend asked how I planned on delivering them to our neighbor. I very casually stated that I was planning on leaving them at her door with a nice note, ringing the doorbell…and then running away. In his mind, said note would have looked like this:

Dear Neighbor,

Your generous gift of the Sunday Times did not go unnoticed. Here are some muffins. We’re even now. Don’t smile at me on the street. 

Regards,

Sybil

Har har.

Confession time: I am a painfully shy human being who often comes off as uptight, mostly because I try not to engage people… mostly because I’m afraid people will hate me once I engage. Really. Many of the people I’ve grown close to over the years have said that when they first met me, they thought they’d hate me. I bet some of them even did hate me until I decided to open my mouth and my heart (awww, precious). It’s something that I’m still working on correcting, but for anyone who reads this before meeting me, I swear I’m nice, and I’m sorry I scowled at you.

BF helped me muster up the courage to deliver the muffins in person. I can’t say I wasn’t uncomfortable and super awkward about the whole thing (I tend to do this weird, nervous laugh that I can’t suppress, and that I am fairly certain I’ve inherited from my father), but I am happy that I kept that promise. I’m also glad we got to know our neighbors, and happy to report that as far as I know, they don’t hate me! Hooray!

Categories
Cakes Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Stuff Your Parents Would Like

I Made A Lemon Layer Cake…There. Can I Hide Now?

A very happy happy much-needed Happy Sunday. Yes. We colored Easter eggs. Jealous?

Methinks it might be time to take another hiatus from the blog. I’m in serious need of a break from, well, everything. If I had it my way that break from everything would entail me burrowing into a hole made of downy blankets (a blanket fort, perhaps?) and only emerging upon hearing the words “you’re rich, you’re awesome, it’s a sunny 75 degrees outside and we’re going to a Glen Hansard show…with Glen Hansard.” I’m not even just saying any of this for dramatic effect. I’d very much like to go into hibernation mode for, oh, a couple of seasons or so. In fact, when my best friend asked me what I wanted to do after I told her about my dilemma, my answer was “hide.” When she asked me what else I wanted to do, I responded with “um…hide for a long time?” I believe that was the incorrect answer.

I’ve been under some serious stress lately. As I described to my best friend (poor girl basically got slammed with Shibow drama), I feel like I’m both totally stuck and going a mile a minute and the same exact time. Quarter life crisis returns! It must be an April thing.

Maybe you, dear readers, can help me. Allow me to post a series of questions that I hope at least one of you will be able to assist me in answering:

1. What am I meant to do with my life?

2. Where should I hide in case I no one comes up with the answer to #1?

3. Who the hell is Gotye?

4. Does anyone know anyone who’s really good at cutting curly hair? And I don’t mean kind of good or “here’s what Google says.” I mean, do you have curly hair and did you go to an awesome hairdresser and do you now look like a ringlet-covered goddess?

5. Seriously, can someone help me figure out what to DO with my life?

As I’ve said before, it’s not as if something big and bad has happened recently. I’m just Sad Shibow, and I’m not having fun. Oh, one more question:

6. WHAT IS FUN????

Yeah, so, I just need to snap out of it, I guess. And anyway, just because I’m sad doesn’t mean Easter doesn’t exist and doesn’t require some baked goods. For an Easter Sunday party at my cousin’s new [beautiful!] digs, I decided to whip up a lemon layer cake with lemon curd and blueberries. Now, as you can probably see if you’ve clicked on the link, this is a Martha Stewart recipe. I need to be honest: I’m not a huge fan of this lady. It’s not a Stamos-level hatred or anything. It’s more of a fear. A suspicion. And to be honest, after you see how this cake turned out, I think you’ll agree that my feelings toward her are justified.

Lemon Layer Cake That Does Not Have As Many Layers As You’d Expect It To

For the cake

1 1/4 cups of all purpose flour

1 tablespoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 cup plus two tablespoons of granulated sugar

1/2 cup of skim milk

1/3 cup of canola oil

1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

Zest of one lemon, plus one tablespoon of fresh lemon juice

4 egg whites

1 tablespoon of confectioner’s sugar, optional

For the lemon curd

4 egg yolks, lightly beaten

Zest of half a lemon, plus half a cup of fresh lemon juice (the juice of about two and a half lemons…boy do I hope you have a juicer. I do not.)

1 1/3 cups of granulated sugar

1/3 cup of cornstarch

Pinch of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups of fresh blueberries

Preheat your oven to 350ºF, and grease two 8″ round cake pans. In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt and set aside. In a larger bowl, whisk together 1/4 cup of your sugar, milk, oil, vanilla, lemon zest and lemon juice.

Now, in a bowl large enough to fit your egg whites, whip the whites with a hand or stand mixer until foamy, then slowly start to add the rest of your sugar until stiff peaks appear.

Add half of your dry mixture to the milk mixture and stir in until smooth. Add in half of the egg white mixture, then keep alternating between adding the dry mixture and the egg whites until everything’s incorporated. Divide the batter between your pans and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 18 minutes. Let the cakes cool in their pans for about 10 minutes, then invert them onto a clean surface to cool completely.

Pre-baked. Spoiler alert: these barely rose at all. 😦

In the meantime, make your lemon curd. Place egg yolks in a medium heatproof bowl, and set aside. In a medium saucepan, whisk together lemon zest, sugar, cornstarch and salt. Add in the lemon juice plus 1 1/2 cups of water, stir until sugar has dissolved, and crank the heat on your stove up to medium-high. Bring to a boil, and keep whisking. Cook for about two minutes, then reduce the heat to medium-low. Slowly pour about one-third of your lemon mixture into the bowl of egg yolks. Basically, you’re tempering your yolks so that you don’t end up with scrambled egg lemon curd. If that’s your thing though, go for it. Also, if that’s your thing…gross. Add this mixture back into your saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring all the while, for about 3 more minutes. Remove the mixture from heat, stir in your vanilla, and place in a heatproof bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and cool completely, for at least an hour and for as long as a day. When cooled, stir in your blueberries.

Just so you know, I am so damn happy I know how to make lemon curd now. It's delicious. I'm putting it on everything.

Now, to assemble this beast.  I’m getting a little bit of anxiety just typing this right now. In fact, I’ve been avoiding it for a while because my creation– at first– turned out to be a disappointment. First, the cakes were not nearly as thick as they should have been. They were pretty flat, and there was no way that I could think of to slice them in half to be even thinner. I pouted for a while before enlisting the help of my boyfriend who, bless him, pretty much has surgeon’s hands and likely would have been able to perfectly halve this thing in a sandstorm.

Oh, but dear readers, guess what else I discovered? Not only is the man good with cutting up the cake. It turns out he’s a master decorator as well.

Yes, I did leave this to him.

And, at the risk of embarrassing him, let me tell you that he got pretty into this. I could not stop repeatedly thanking him and saying “you made it pretty. It was ugly…and then you made it pretty.” Dude’s got talent.

Anyway, I should probably tell you how to do this and quit the fawning. Fawning’s lame. So, cut each cake horizontally in half, or, you know, find someone who can do this and still keep your cake intact. Spread a thick coating of curd over the bottom layer, then stack until you’re at the top. Smooth out any messy bits, and top with a dusting of confectioner’s sugar, or spread a bit more lemon curd on top and add a few blueberries. (This was the man’s brilliant idea.)

I don’t have a better picture of this cake than this, mostly because I walked away as it was being decorated because I was bummed at how flat it turned out. Everyone seemed to really love it at Easter, and we even took a piece home that very, very quickly disappeared. So even though it wasn’t as plump or easy to work with as I would have liked, and even though I’m convinced Ms. Stewart sabotaged me somehow, we ended up with a pretty lovely dessert. Seems like you got got, MS.