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Boozy Desserts Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Holiday desserts Pies Strange and Yummy

If You Like Pina Coladas (And Reading Blogs About Depression)

First off, THANK YOU for all of the birthday wishes, every single one of which warmed my normally cold, deadened heart. The ol’ 2-9 started off with bagels from my favorite shop and ended with a creepy lady tickling my neck at a Brooklyn cocktail bar. I swear all of this is true. Even the stuff about the bagels. As much as I like to complain, I’m very aware of how… interesting life can get. 

…But back to the complaining for a second, because that seems to be a point of fascination for many who read this. I wish I could explain what it’s like to go through a blue spell. The thing I understand the least about depression is that not everyone experiences it. Life can seem great to outsiders and you can still feel totally stuck, sunken, sucked of energy. Some people cry a lot. I cry a lot- sometimes over The Office, sometimes because I panic and dry-heave unattractively over what my next move in life will be. Sometimes I freak out over how easy things seem for other people that feel completely impossible for me. You know. Totally normal stuff.

<img src="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/560c33fee4b03211bc646bbc/560c3a88e4b00340a4b982d1/5620583de4b0674069d5aff7/1444960328619//img.jpg&quot; alt="Jimmy says my hands are doing a "pretty Indian lady thing." Who the hell knows what that means, but thanks Jimmy! Also, this badass pie plate was one of the BEST things about turning 29– a birthday present from my darling sister Sylvapotamus. Jimmy says my hands are doing a “pretty Indian lady thing.” Who the hell knows what that means, but thanks Jimmy! Also, this badass pie plate was one of the BEST things about turning 29– a birthday present from my darling sister Sylvapotamus. ❤

So yes, there’s that old problem that I imagine many of us face– because my imagination is that vast and uninhibited– but that I just can’t seem to get anyone else to talk to me about. I mean have you amazing folks all really figured out how the hell life works?! Am I really that maladjusted that the frightened/suspicious side-eye is now everyone’s resting face around me? How are you all so… so cool

I guess we can blame my sad spell on the change in weather, or Stamos, but there are other factors that I’ll be brave enough to talk about after this blog post, because they’re difficult emotions and there is some booze in this. I was bored and feeling down and had a can of coconut cream to use up, so here comes some Pina Colada Pie.

 

Pina Colada Pie (makes one 9-inch pie)

For the graham cracker crust

6 graham cracker sheets, finely ground

1/3 cup of butter, melted and cooled

For the Pina Colada filling

1 14oz can of cream of coconut

1 cup of pineapple chunks 

1/2 cup of sugar

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups of shredded coconut

To start, preheat your oven to 350°F and set aside a 9-inch pie plate. For the graham cracker crust, mix together your cracker crumbs and butter in a small bowl, then press evenly into the bottom of your pie plate. Send into the oven for 10 to 12 minutes, until lightly browned. 

Set aside to cool while making your filling. For the filling, you’ll need a large, large bowl and the ugliest/baking-est clothes you own, because this is messy. 

Mix together your coconut cream and pineapple chunks, then, using a hand mixer or stand mixer on medium, mix in your sugar. Be warned that if you did not heed my earlier advice about the bowl and ugly baking clothes, you will be finding pineapple chunks for a long time in places you did not know your kitchen had. Maybe it’s better to use a blender for this. (I never promised genius-level tricks here guys, just posts about how sad life is and PIE.) Beat in eggs, one at a time, then add in your salt. Fold in shredded coconut until evenly distributed– batter should be runny. 

Pour into pie plate and send into the oven until pie is set and the sides are lightly browned, about 45 minutes. Leave to cool, because… SURPRISE! We’re making Rum Meringue! I know! I love you too!

To brown your meringue, set your oven to broil. 

Rum Meringue

3 egg whites

1/3 cup of sugar

3 tablespoons of dark rum

Very rummy,very yummy.
Very rummy,very yummy.

 

In a very clean, dry bowl using equally clean, dry beaters, whisk egg whites using a mixer on high speed. Beat until soft peaks begin to form, then gradually add in sugar until peaks become stiffer. Beat in rum until fully incorporated, then gently spread evenly on top of pie using a rubber spatula. Carefully place under your broiler for 2 to 3 minutes, until the top is lightly browned.

So you’re all like “LOL that’s not lightly browned!” Well, fine, but to be fair I’m still a little traumatized from that time I set a S’mores cake on fire. You’ll be better, I know you will.

Anyway, you’re going to want to serve this cake either at room temperature or cold, and then…

Sweet mama. It’s like a pina colada nestled inside of a hug. The rum from the meringue gives it just enough of a boozy treat feeling, and the filling tastes like vacation. Yup, yes, I am sticking to that. Must. Make. 

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Categories
Cakes Classic Favorites Holiday desserts Stuff Your Parents Would Like

This Blog Celebrates A Birthday…And So Does The Man Who Dislikes It!

This blog is FOUR guys! That means we’re [probably] potty trained and [probably] tying our own shoelaces, unless you were one of those cool kids with velcro straps on your TMNT kicks. Whatever. Not jelly. Anyway, thank you all, as always, for keeping this blog, and me, going. Your support is everything.

Ok. Let’s talk about Easter desserts. Specifically, let’s talk about macabre Easter desserts.

Whilst searching the ‘nets for some inspiration, I came across a few pretty dark-sounding sweets. Let’s list them, yes?

1. Empty Tombs. Which, as I remarked to a friend of mine the other day, is probably a step up from “Tombs Filled With Sleeping Jesuses,” but is still not something I could see myself enjoying.

2. Chocolate Crosses. Again, not totally sold on the whole “eat a symbol of suffering while feeling really good about the sugar you’re imbibing” thing. I dunno.

3. Judas Cookies. To be fair, my friend Jeremy had the idea for Judas Cookies, which I suggested should be topped with chocolate Judas kisses, and then we had to stop before all the Catholics we both know (and some we don’t) came after us with Super Soakers full of holy water. (There’s mad blasphemy all up in that sentence, isn’t there?) My mother alone could form a very, very formidable army of such soldiers.

4. Bonkers Easter Cake. WHO WOULD COMMIT SUCH AN ATROCITY?!

So, I decided to go for something a little bit more classic. Ok, fine, full disclosure: this post is going up a couple of days before Easter, so y’all know I didn’t really make this for Easter. This was actually a birthday cake for my dad, who normally hates, in no particular order: cakes, blogs, things that are made from scratch, things that are made from scratch and then blogged about, cakes that are blogged about, and his child blogging about cakes she made from scratch.

He will very likely end me if he finds out this picture is on the internet, but seriously people: check out that swagger. Dude is holding an infant and cutting a cake like it's NBD. I'd have trouble doing one of those things with total confidence.
Dad will very likely end me if he finds out this picture is on the internet, but seriously people: check out that swagger. Dude is holding an infant and cutting a cake like it’s NBD. I’d have trouble doing one of those things with total confidence.

A lot of people have asked me how it feels to have my dad not like my blog. Those same lot of people are always shocked to hear me say that I think it’s HILARIOUS. He’s such a grump over the most random issues (see: cake-making, also the clothing choices of complete strangers and when people lose on Wheel of Fortune) that it starts to get very amusing after a while. He’s also my dad, the guy who– no questions asked– came over to my apartment a few years ago when I was living alone in order to kill a giant waterbug for me– which I originally claimed was a bat, it was that large– because I was too scared and squeamish to do so myself. He’s the guy who drove over to my apartment last week to pick up my boyfriend and me after our apartment became uninhabitable for a few days (remember that awful varnish smell I mentioned?), and then left us with to-go breakfast sandwiches when it was time for us to head home. He’s the guy who happily secured tickets for five brown people who inexplicably wanted to see Tom Jones in concert in Atlantic City in the mid-1990s, and I am still weirdly proud that it was the first live show I’d ever attended. So, despite the fact that you may very well never read this, I thank you Papa K, for making life funnier, more stressful/less stressful, and safer from disgusting insects/life’s other random villains.

Still, like I said, the man does not normally enjoy cake. BUT! There is an exception, friends, and it is an exception so simple and yet so profound, that even I in my all-powerful wisdom (LOL) could never have guessed it: carrot cake. Regular old carrot cake. Well. Not so regular, and not old at all, but it is more classic than the one I’ve made before. Let’s do this.

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Very lightly adapted from The Betty Crocker Cookbook

Carrot cake (makes one 9-inch round two layer cake)

For the cake

1 cup of brown sugar

1 stick of butter, browned (melt until butter darkens, brown bits begin to form in the butter and it takes on a nutty smell)

1/4 cup of vegetable oil

3 eggs

2 cups of all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of salt–unless butter is salted, then omit

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1 cup of raisins

1 cup of pineapple puree, or one cup of pineapple chunks in juice

4 cups of shredded carrots (about 4-5 medium)

For the frosting

8-ounce package of cream cheese, softened

3 tablespoons of butter, softened

2 teaspoons of milk

1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar

1 teaspoon of vanilla

To start, preheat your oven to 350ºF. Generously butter and flour two 9-inch round cake pans and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a large bowl with a hand mixer, beat together butter, oil and sugar on medium speed until fully blended. Add in eggs, one at a time, until completely mixed. In a separate smaller bowl, sift together flour, cinnamon, salt (if using), baking powder and baking soda, then add in vanilla.

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Gradually add flour mixture to wet mixture, with mixer on low to medium speed, until batter is fully mixed. Fold in raisins first, then pineapple, then carrots, until evenly distributed throughout batter.

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Divide batter between pans and bake for 30 to 35 mins, until a cake tester inserted into the middle of cake comes out clean. Allow cakes to cool in pans for 10 minutes before inverting onto cooling rack to cool completely, about 1 hour.

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To make frosting, beat cream cheese and butter together with a mixer on high speed until blended. Add in milk, a little at a time, then gradually beat in sugar and vanilla until mixed. Note that this recipe will produce a cream cheese frosting that is on the tangier side, because no one in my family likes it to be terribly sweet. If you prefer yours on the sweeter side, add in about 1-2 more cups, a little at a time, tasting as you go until you reach your preferred level of sugar shock. Frost the top of one cake round, then top with second cake round and frost. Decorate how you wish and serve.

Sort of an inside joke-y cake topping, but I went for a vaguely Indian color scheme. Also was pressed for time :(
Sort of an inside joke-y cake topping, but I went for a vaguely Indian color scheme. Also was pressed for time 😦

Thoughts? I’m weirdly surprised at how well this went over with everyone. My dad being my dad, he did question why I’d spend the time baking something that seemed complicated to him from scratch…until he tasted it. In fact, everyone was really happy with the cake, from the tangy frosting to the rich, not-too-sweet actual cake. I was pretty damned shocked to hear that my parents, who aren’t really big sugar fiends (yes, I know, I also suspect I was adopted) polished off the rest of this cake a couple of days after dad’s birthday. You never cease to surprise me, Pops.

Categories
Cakes desserts for two Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Holiday desserts

My Cup Runneth Over With Molten Cake Stuff, My Phone Runneth Over With Pure Nonsense

I am a special case of something special sometimes. Normally I’m on here either complaining about the weather or putting hexes on Stamos, but today I thought I’d do something a little differently, a bit more masochistic, and basically embarrass myself for your amusement and/or case study. Behold.

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The above is a snapshot of a text I sent the other day to my boyfriend, who decided to make plans to be out the ONE NIGHT I FIND A DAMNED RAT IN THE APARTMENT. Superhero that I am, I promptly screamed, grabbed a bag of Oreos, and holed up in the bedroom. Before you ask, no, I did not desperately grab the Oreos as a means of sustenance because there was nothing else in sight. I had a choice between Oreos and a bag of grapes and I made the obvious decision to stress-eat delicious sandwich cookies whilst texting out rat emojis like a madwoman. I fully own all of this.

Those of you with souls might be wondering what happened to the rodent. Well… WHO CARES YOU GUYS?! Ok, fine, it’s gone. Jimmy insists it was probably so terrified of the giant brown baby scampering away from it that it ran BACK into the hole in the radiator. BACK?! HOLE?! He said this as if it were the most common occurrence ever. “Oh, yeah, sometimes baby mice (yes, fine, it was just a baby mouse, BUT STILL WTF MOUSE GUYS) live in the heating vents. He probably went back into his little home once he realized that I’m a neat freak and you eat everything in sight, so no crumbs for the little guy.” Home?! Little guy?! What is this magnanimous nonsense? Why is he talking as if this were the most normal thing in the world? Is it? Fellow city dwellers, do ya’ll just have a band of merry mice parading through your radiators, eventually popping out in the hopes that you don’t use plates when you eat things? Be on alert, guys. This could get real.

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This second series is from a couple of mornings ago, when I was stuck on a stalled F train for half an hour and had basically completely cracked. Note the two-word response from my poor, perpetually concerned boyfriend. I know I wrote like three paragraphs about the rat thing and can only share a couple of sentences on this but, a. that’s basically as much as I am willing to talk about with this text bonanza, because I am still sort of silently crying to myself because some variation of this happens every.damned.day. on my commute and, b. this is all already enough for your dissertation. Get that degree, homie. Go forth and prosper.

So, texts like those are pretty common for Jimmy. In the beginning of our relationship, he frantically answered almost every one pretty quickly, but now he knows to just allow me some private time to cry to power ballads and self-medicate with chocolate. Also, while I was typing that paragraph, he decided, on a whim, to run downstairs to check on an elderly woman who lives directly below us, since our building has been doing renovations in some black hole none of us can find, and said renovations involve noxious fumes. He did not know this woman previous to this visit, he was just concerned about a complete stranger. That complete stranger could have been a serial killer, or an MTA Fat Cat! What a guy. A guy like that? A guy like that deserves cake. His own personal cake.

Molten Dulce de Leche Cake (makes two individual cakes)

(adapted from Bon Appetit)

4 teaspoons of all purpose flour

1/2 cup of dulce de leche, store-bought or homemade (see below for one recipe)

1 egg, beaten

1 egg yolk

For dulce de leche, preheat your oven to 425ºF, and pour one 14 ounce can of sweetened condensed milk into a small baking dish. Cover with aluminum foil and place dish in a larger dish. Fill the larger dish with water until water comes halfway up the sides of the smaller dish. Place in oven and cook for one hour, or until the milk is a deep brown color. Remove from the oven, whisk lightly, and then allow to cool slightly. Transfer to a heatproof jar or container and cover tightly. Refrigerate if not using immediately. This recipe will make one cup.

Highly recommend using any leftover dulce de leche on ice cream, in sandwiches, or on any utensil you can reach. Don't judge.
Highly recommend using any leftover dulce de leche on ice cream, in sandwiches, or on any utensil you can reach. Don’t judge.

For your cakes preheat oven to 425ºF and generously butter and flour two 4-ounce ramekins and set aside on a rimmed baking sheet. Using a mixer on medium speed, beat egg and egg yolk together until doubled in volume and the eggs begin to ribbon. Add in dulce de leche until completely blended, then add in flour one teaspoon at a time.

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Divide mixture between ramekins.

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Place ramekins on baking sheet in the oven and bake for 12 to 14 minutes, until cakes have risen and are golden brown. You can either run a knife around the edges of the ramekins and invert onto plates, or simply serve them in their ramekins (which is what I did), but definitely serve them warm.

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You’ll notice that the cakes are accompanied by a glorious-looking milkshake. I would provide the recipe, but it’s basically equal parts vanilla ice cream, milk and bourbon. Yes, I said equal parts. No, I don’t remember much of the rest of the night.

SONY DSCSo, um, yeah. Yeah. YES. YES these were absolutely perfect. They were better than I ever could have hoped they would be. Absolute perfection straight from the oven. Make these for anyone who tolerates your complicated, panicky, strange self with nothing but love, and make them immediately.

Categories
Cookies Holiday desserts

Melting Snowman Cookies. Because Nothing Else Is Ever Going To Melt

… Except my face, from boredom, from being inside, because currently it’s -5 degrees outside (with wind chill! The ! is there because the weatherpeople always seem to be so damned cheery about it).

Just kidding. I think my face is melting because I just received a crown, and heavy is the head that… ugh. Ok, it was the dental procedure kind of crown. Part one, actually (yes! There’s a PART TWO!). I now have a temporary crown, which is this strange, cemented plastic block that’s been stuck up into my molar. This mass is inserted by what can only be described as an upsettingly, painfully loud miniature airplane engine that zooms in and around the inside of one’s mouth for about as long as it takes to fly from here to Bermuda. Oh Bermuda. Would that I had spent my hard-earned nickels on a trip to Bermuda, instead of on this extremely expensive procedure. Sigh.

So what have you been doing to pass the time in this mind-altering cold? I’ve been binge-re-watching The Wonder Years. In fact, I’ve watched so many episodes that something finally occurred to me the other day…

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Yes, that’s a five year old me on the left, also known as Brown Female Kevin Arnold. How I did not put this together earlier, I will never know. I suppose there are worse beloved television characters one could be compared to but…

I’ll let you finish laughing at me. Done yet? Come on. Ok, moving on. I know that it’s Friday, the 13th of February, and that that probably means some of you are expecting something either very spooky or very romantic. However, given that I am currently nursing a bit of a headache (see: airplane in mouth) and am also so over V-day stuff (the chocolate selections this year are kind of meh, no?), we’re going to go with something sweet, silly and cute, because I, for one, need some cheering up after this week.

Melting Snowmen (makes 20 cookies)

adapted from Better Homes and Gardens

For the cookie

1/2 cup of butter, softened

1/2 cup of peanut butter

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

1/4 cup of brown sugar

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1/8 teaspoon of baking soda

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

3 tablespoons of milk

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

For the glaze

3/4 cup of white chocolate chips

10 mini peanut butter cups, unwrapped

Brown and orange sprinkles

To start, preheat your oven to 350ºF. Place peanut butter cups in the freezer (I’ll explain). In a large mixing bowl, beat together butter and peanut butter with an electric mixer on high, until fully mixed. Add in sugars, baking powder and baking soda, until combined, taking care to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Add in egg, milk and vanilla until incorporated, and then add in flour until batter forms.

Shape dough into twenty equally-sized balls. Place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, and bake for 9 to 11 minutes (took me ten), just until the edges of the cookie are set and firm. Set aside to cool.

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Uhhh… someone ate a couple.
This particular one has a shadow over it because the boyfriend was looming, ready to snatch it.
This particular one has a shadow over it because the boyfriend was looming, ready to snatch it.

For the glaze, melt white chocolate in a small, heatproof bowl (I used the microwave- 1 minute at a time, stirring after each go until fully melted). Place cookies on a cool surface, then use a rubber spatula or butter knife to spread melted chocolate on cookies. Remove peanut butter cups from freezer and, with a small knife, cut each cup in half and place on cookie, wherever you’d like the top to be. Add sprinkles for eyes and nose, if desired. I had to use more white chocolate tinted with food coloring, because I just couldn’t bear going back out in the cold, and also because I kind of just wanted to eat these damned things already. Would definitely recommend springing for orange sprinkles.

One was naked so my boyfriend could do a "comparison." Spoiler: it was a tie.
One was naked so my boyfriend could do a “comparison.” Spoiler: it was a tie.

Mine look pretty jacked up, I know. They kind of look like melted snowbirds, which is sad, but also kind of artsy and beautiful, no? No, I get it. It’s just sad.

More importantly, how did they taste? Oh, they were totally delicious. The cookie was so soft, chewy and peanut-buttery, and not too sweet. I purposely cut the sugar in the cookie because I knew the glaze would be packed with sweetness, and it worked out just perfectly. Highly recommended as a fun, cold-weather treat.

Categories
Classic Favorites Cookies Fancy Pantsy Holiday desserts Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Sugar and Spice. The Nice and Not Nice.

Some of the twelve of you who read this have probably noticed that I’m trying to post with a bit more frequency these days. I guess I’ve had a fire lit under me and am trying to keep this up, because I like fire. Wait.

My original intention was to have this post go up before Christmas, but some events transpired and it seems I couldn’t make that happen. My favorite professor died very recently. I think the most lovely tribute to him, in my eyes, has been how many other former students have called him their favorite in recent days. So many stories, so many fond memories, such a kind, kind person. In addition to many other small acts of kindness, he pushed me to take a massive risk by encouraging me to quit the most toxic “real world” job I’ve ever had, with no plan B on which to fall back. I would never have made that decision without him, because God knows I plan everything– I know exactly what I am having for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack and dessert today. But I will never regret that decision, that very life-altering decision. And I will never be able to thank him again. My life’s not exactly glamorous, but it’s better than it was, better than it would have been, I’m sure, had I stayed in a position that had me crying and shaking on the regular. And it’s strange not to see him pop up on Gchat anymore. I remember thinking recently that it was odd that he wasn’t on anymore, wasn’t “wasting time as usual” as he’d humbly type out whenever I messaged him (while he was probably working on yet another acclaimed pop culture-heavy book). I remember telling myself I’d shoot him an email, convincing myself I’d swing by the English Department I worked at as a college student to say hello to some old friends one of these days, prof included. That’s time for you.

This is from a beach in Montauk. Maybe it's "the beach in Montauk," or maybe there's an actual name, but I am too lowly to know these things. Anyway, it was beautiful and freezing and I had to climb a lot of slippery rocks to get to that point, and it was worth it.
This is from a beach in Montauk. Maybe it’s “the beach in Montauk,” or maybe there’s an actual name, but I am too lowly to know these things. Anyway, it was beautiful and freezing and I had to climb a lot of slippery rocks to get to that point, and it was worth it.

I’m not going to go on and on about how you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, or that time is precious, or that we’re all too damn busy with nonsense these days to see what’s really important. And it’s not because those things aren’t true– they are– but it’s because the best way to honor the too-rare happy, genuine, humble, hilarious people in life is to try to be all of those things. And I will. I will try.

Was that a New Year’s resolution? I don’t really believe in those, mostly because I’m terrible all year round and am always actively trying to make myself less terrible. If you drunkenly force me into giving you one at a party or something though, my answer will probably be to stop f*$%ing cursing so much. Except those various symbols won’t be there because I’ll be saying the f-word, the full word and not “eff star star star star -ing” to you. Some people say they think it’s charming to hear a lady curse. My boyfriend might once have been one of those people, but I think maybe he is not anymore. Or, at least, I don’t find all of the horrific, crass words that now make their way out of my brain and through my mouth to be charming anymore. And forget my parents. If they could disown my profane ass (Does it count as cursing if I’m trying to call myself a donkey?) at 28, I’m sure they would. That was very long. Don’t you now wish you never came up to me at this hypothetical party, imaginary drunken stranger?

Speaking of parties, I made the cookies below and brought them to a party, and they were a huge hit. And you should either throw a party, wait for the next party you’re invited to, weasel your way into a party as if you were invited, or straight up crash a stranger’s affair and bring these.

Chai Browned Butter Snickerdoodles (makes about 40 cookies)

adapted slightly from Grandbaby Cakes

2 sticks of butter (I used salted, if using unsalted add 1/2 teaspoon of salt to the recipe)

1 cup of granulated sugar

2 large eggs

2 3/4 cups of all purpose flour

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

1 teaspoon of loose chai or chai spice (I used loose chai and I was scared to but I totally shouldn’t have been…I’ll explain)

For the coating

1/4 cup of granulated sugar

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of loose chai or chai spice

So, I’ll start by ‘splaining myself. I have twenty five different kinds of chai at home. That is not an exaggeration; one time, on a whim, when I was feeling rich and stupid (probably drunk?), I purchased some sort of online deal that allowed me to purchase fifty bucks worth of chai. No, I didn’t pay fifty bucks for it, but what I discovered was that fifty bucks (or “fifty bucks” because I’m a cheapo/deal maven) buys a LOT of loose tea. It seemed like a waste to try to make my own “chai spice,” which to me never fully matches the taste of actual chai, when I had the good stuff at my disposal. Go ahead and use loose chai tea if you have it. It will not disappoint. (Also, WordPress keeps trying to tell me chai is not a real word, and it’s like, come on, WordPress. Give a brown girl some love and recognize.)

Whew. So, to begin, brown your butter. This isn’t a totally necessary step if you’re in a rush to get these cookies down your gullet, but… ok, it’s kind of totally necessary because it gives the cookies hella depth. To brown, melt your two sticks of butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Let the butter continue to cook until it turns brown, smells nutty, and there are tiny brown flecks in it. Set aside to let it cool.

In a large bowl, whisk together butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla until combined. Add in flour, baking soda, salt and chai and mix until a dough forms. Chill dough in refrigerator for at least 30 minutes (note: this dough, as you can see from the yield above, makes a lot of cookies. I reserved about half of the dough and made more cookies three days later, which is about as long as I’d wager this dough will keep in the fridge, though it’s definitely freezable up to 3 months).

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Now, preheat your oven to 350ºF. Stir together cinnamon, sugar and chai spice for the coating and set aside in a small bowl. When dough has chilled, roll into tablespoon-sized balls, then cover in cinnamon-chai-sugar mixture and set on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Leave about an inch between balls, as these cookies will spread when baked.

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Bake for about ten minutes, until cookies have flattened out. I wouldn’t bake for any longer since you want to keep them nice and soft.

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Yes, ok? Yes, that is a big fat bite that I took before I even took this picture. The lens is also a little bit foggy because the cookies were still pretty hot when I took this picture, which means they were piping hot when I took a bite out of one, which I do not regret because it was FRIGGIN’ DELICIOUS. They were snapped up pretty quickly at the party, too– so quickly that I had to promise two guests that I’d make two face-sized chai snickerdoodles just for them next time.

Happy New Year, everyone. May it be beautiful, open and endlessly kind to you.