I Hope You’ve Got Your Dancing Shoes…Because I Might Need Lessons :(

That’s not true. I inherited Almond Joycha‘s badass moves. But I have a confession. I already confessed to myself because I’m a Reverend now so I can hear confessions and stuff*, but I figured I’d share with all of you as well because I am generous. For this recipe, I made myself a baking playlist that consists of a bunch of fun dance-y songs by artists like TV on the Radio, Rihanna, Phoenix, and Britney. So I was dancing to “Break the Ice” while I was stirring the batter for today’s recipe when I tripped on nothing and set in motion a complicated series of crashes and crumbles that resulted in a broken shot glass and a counter completely covered in flour. I’m pretty sure I am going to live alone forever.

The days have been getting better. There hasn’t been a single raindrop in the vicinity since my last post (though I hear that’s changing…grrrrr), I’ve been going to a few very cool shows (and am heading to a TVOTR show this Thursday omgI’msoexcitedddd!) and am generally just trying to chill. That last one has been especially difficult given that my asthma has been essentially choking me out for the past couple of weeks, but all I can say is sucks to my ass-mar! If you know where that phrase is from without using the internets, I’ll give you some cookies. No joke. I’ll even mail them to you if we’re not close. But I’ll totally know if you cheated.

Anyway, I was sitting around with nothing to do, pretty dazed and lazed from a crazy weekend when my cousin Rhea texted to say she’d be rolling in with the cousins to hang out for a bit. I immediately went to work, because there is no way the fam is coming over to a baked goods-less house. I broke out this book, which I just call the Book of Love now. Sorry man, but I do. I flipped through for a quick, easy, sorta fancy cookie recipe and found just what I was looking for: Truffle Dough Cookies. Sounds classy, huh?

Truffle Dough Cookies

1/4 cup plus 4 teaspoons of superfine sugar (I’ll explain)

1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons of cocoa powder

2 tablespoons of butter, chopped

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Powdered sugar for fancy dusting

Maybe you all know what superfine sugar is, because you’re smarter than I am. You’re probably smarter than I am, but just in case, let me tell you what I just found out: superfine sugar is not, in fact, the same as powdered sugar. Superfine sugar, also known as caster sugar, is basically sugar that’s 10x as fine as granulated sugar. Powdered sugar is, like, 1000x times finer than granulated. That’s quite a difference. And yes I did learn that the hard way, but my cookies still came out ok. They’ll just turn out better than ok if you actually follow directions. If you can’t find caster sugar, you can pulse the regular granulated stuff in a food processor for about a minute to achieve the same effect. I’m a loser so I don’t have a food processor, but I’ve got a birthday coming up and I’m hoping someone takes pity on my plight. I also really need a spatula. And a hug. Two hugs. Maybe just the hugs would suffice.

Anyway, in a large bowl using a hand mixer or food processor if you’ve got one, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa powder and butter, and mix/pulse until the mixture is crumbly and grainy. I decided to make these cookies right after cleaning my counters and kitchen floors, which is why I really hope you’ve got an enclosed food processor and/or are far more coordinated than I am. Then mix in the egg and vanilla until you’ve got a fudgey concoction, and throw this into the fridge to cool for about a half hour.

Now, preheat the oven to 350°F. Take out the batter and form into walnut-sized balls. Roll the balls in powdered sugar and lay them on a cookie sheet. The recipe said I’d end up with 20 cookies, but one of us was wrong and I’m fairly certain it wasn’t me.  Anyway, throw these into the oven for about 10-12 minutes (mine needed 12), then let them cool for about another ten. Once cooled, if yours don’t flatten, you can give them a tiny nudge, but if you somehow just don’t know you’re own strength, I’d skip this step.

So the cousins seemed to enjoy them, though I’m sure they’d enjoy them more if I learned what caster sugar was before making them and if I had a food processor and if…

Ah, whatevs. They enjoyed what they got, I’m just sayin’… if you can avoid the misstep I made, avoid it. They really did seem to like these cookies, which I’d show you photographic evidence of, but none of them wanted to take a picture with me. I’m pretty sure they’re ashamed of me. 😦

I did manage to snap a picture of Rhea’s little brother Jacob enjoying a bunch of them though. Enjoy the cuteness below.

*I like to call this “taking certain liberties with my writing.” I am not serious so please don’t confess things to me because if you killed someone and tell me I will freak out and cry forever.