Category: Classic Favorites

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites Easy Baking No-Bake Recipes Vegan Desserts

I Created A Monster. I Tried To Stay Away From The Monster. The Monster Was Too Delicious, So It Won. And Then I Won.

YOU GUYS.

I’m going to keep you in suspense when it comes to what I made for this post for just a little longer…

…But only so I can show you the AWESOME spot I helped put together!

I can’t tell you how proud I am of this thing. Really, I am so, SO happy that I was even able to be a part of it. It was so much fun, and I personally think it’s a pretty brilliant little piece, thanks to an amazing cast and crew (the writer/director knocked my socks off with this one, and no that’s not because I’m a little biased toward him ;)).

So, yes, being able to finally debut this was exhilarating. My mood has certainly improved thanks to all of the kind words attached to this video, even though most of the credit isn’t mine. Still, I’m super happy.

Weird, right? Weird to see “super happy” on this blog. Ah well. Let’s all just try to deal with it as best we can, shall we?

Ok, on to the actual dessert portion of today’s meal. Aren’t you just dying to know what I made? Ok…deep breaths everyone…I made…

Peanut butter cups!

Wait! Hear me out! I know there have been many stranger, more complex, more interesting baked goods on this site. I know. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, works for me quite the way the magical combination of chocolate and peanut butter does. I’m not even exaggerating. That these were incredibly easy to make only rocked my already-rocking world until up was down and happy was Sad Shibow. Let’s get it, kids.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (makes 24 mini cups)

3 cups of semisweet chocolate chips (I used Trader Joe’s brand, of course)

1 cup of all-natural peanut butter

1 cup of confectioner’s sugar

A handful of Peanut Butter Puffins (Sorry again for the product placement, but these things rule my universe. If they somehow do not rule yours, use a handful of graham cracker crumbs)

Big pinch of salt

Line a 24-cup mini muffin tin with cupcake liners.

So, some of you will be pleased to know that these particular cups are vegan as well. Hoorah to you, and me, and everybody!

Set chocolate chips in a large bowl over a pot of simmering water. Stir constantly until completely melted. Now, drop about half a teaspoon’s worth of the melted chocolate into each cupcake liner, and use the back of the spoon to coat the bottom and sides completely. You will have leftover melted chocolate, which we’ll be using in a bit, so please don’t get crazy with what you’ve got left.  Once you’ve coated every liner, send the tin into the refrigerator for about 15 minutes, or until the chocolate hardens up.

While you wait, start in on the peanut butter mixture. In a medium-sized bowl, stir together peanut butter, sugar, Puffins and salt. You should be able to hand-stir this thing. You should also probably taste test, to mentally prepare yourself for the awesomeness you will be dealt once this whole thing comes together.

Once your chocolate’s hardened, remove the tin from the fridge and evenly distribute your peanut butter filling among the cups.

Then, drop more of your melted chocolate (you may need to re-melt at this point) on top to completely cover the peanut butter, and flatten the tops with the back of a spoon as best you can. Send back into the fridge for about half an hour or until the chocolate has hardened completely.

So…how were they? Well, fortunately I was not alone in making and trying these, as the lovely Sylvapotamus was available and generous enough to assist. I cannot tell you how lucky I was that someone else was present to devour these with me, because I’m pretty sure eating 24 of these things would be deemed unacceptable in most circles…

…not in mine though. 😉

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites Frozen Desserts No-Bake Recipes

It’s Summer, So We’re Trying To Eat Healthily. Scratch That. We’re Trying To Eat Bacon Sundaes.

I’ve been spending a lot of time on this blog talking about how sad I’ve been. Sad that I’ve lost touch with some people. Sad that I’ve trusted some of the wrong people in the past. Sad that I’ve been dissed and hurt for no particular reason. Sad that I’m not where I’d like to be in some aspects of life. Just plain old sad.

Well screw all that. Did you not see the title of this post?! There is bacon among us, people. Buck up!

Anyone want to play 6 degrees of Sir Francis Bacon?

So last week I took a few days off to relax. Some call it a “staycation.” I call it a “I’m poor and a little burned out, so I’m going to sit around and eat raisins and listen to an old Smashing Pumpkins record for a few days.” On one of those days, my boyfriend and I made a special trip to Burger King after hearing tales of a new dessert item: the bacon sundae. Believe it or not, it was bleeping delicious, and it needed to be made. Boyfriend had the seriously bright idea to concoct this creature together.

I’m writing this post the day after a spectacular rooftop barbecue we hosted. This means that I am sore, tired and a little foggy. This, I believe, also means the party was a success. Thanks to this lovely event and thanks to my tendency to go overboard dessert-wise, there will be a few posts on deliciousness related to this soiree. Yippee.

Now, we don’t have an ice cream maker, and apparently making ice cream from scratch without one is incredibly annoying. I don’t have time to be annoyed. I want a bacon sundae, and STAT! So, we bought French vanilla ice cream from, where else, Trader Joe’s. And, surprise surprise, it’s friggin’ amazing.

The next step was to make hot fudge sauce. This, I found, was not simple. The first recipe I tried gave me something that quickly resembled, in both taste and appearance, a Tootsie Roll. I have nothing against Tootsie Rolls…except everything. I am not a fan. So having a medium-sized saucepan full of the stuff was not cool with me. After a ton of grossed-out expressions and loads of experimenting, I found the promised land.

Hot Fudge Sauce (makes about 12 ounces)

3/4 cup of cocoa powder

2/3 cup of boiling water

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons of heavy cream

4 tablespoons of butter

1 3/4 cup of granulated sugar

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons of light corn syrup

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Stir cocoa powder and water to a medium-sized saucepan over medium heat and stir until you’ve got a lumpy mess. Stir in heavy cream, butter and sugar until dissolved and fully mixed. Add in corn syrup, stir until incorporated, and then let the mixture come to a simmer and stay at a slow boil– no stirring allowed– for about 5 minutes. Oh, and make sure to brush down the sides of the pan with cold water, to make sure sugar crystals don’t form. You don’t want crunchy fudge sauce. Do you? Really ask yourself.

Remove from heat and stir until smooth. Let cool slightly before tasting, because chocolate gets damn hot really fast.

You can pour this straight into a mason jar like we did and then spoon a bit at a time onto your sundae or straight down your gullet (we did both, and both are highly recommended).

Want to hear how good this was? Stay tuned! (Did that work? Are you intrigued? Be honest, it’s cool.)

Now, no sundae is complete without some whipped cream. Personally I’m not a fan of sweet whipped cream on sundaes, so I made this one unsweetened, light and fluffy.

Whipped Cream (makes a HUGE bowl of it)

1 1/2 pints of heavy whipping cream

1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

Keep a large glass or metal bowl in the freezer for about ten minutes before you start this thing. You’ll need a cold bowl to make this. Pour your heavy cream into your bowl and whip with a hand mixer on high until stiff peaks start to form. Add in vanilla extract and whip just until mixed.

Is there such a thing as too much whipped cream? No, right? Yeah, I thought not.

And now on to the bacon. Well, ok, I suck at cooking bacon. It’s always either super burnt or unbelievably rubbery. Boyfriend rocked it, and was therefore in charge. I really have no idea of exactly what he did, but he did do something crazy special to the bacon. Maybe it’s a secret bacon recipe that he has. I’ll ask him if you want. We served about ten people, and therefore needed a package and a half of bacon (So, yeah, everyone got a lot of bacon. I know, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you. Next time!). Am I saying bacon a lot? I know I am. Well, cook, pat dry, USE.

So, a nice heaping spoon of fudge sauce, two scoops of French vanilla ice cream, two or three strips of bacon, a dollop and whipped cream, and yet another drizzle of fudge sauce later, how are we doing?

PRETTY.

FLIPPING.

AMAZING.

Sad schmad. We had a bunch of awesome people tell us that this was an amazing, amazing finish to a delicious meal.  I couldn’t be more pleased. Well, actually, at this moment, I guess I could. There’s a sundae just begging to be made, and I’m pretty sure the begging’s coming from this belly. BRB!

(Make this, ASAP.)

Categories
Classic Favorites Desserts with Fruit Muffins

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. Most Good Deeds Are Very Awkward. Let’s Make Muffins.

Saturday morning I went for a run through our pretty, pretty neighborhood with my boyfriend. Usually, after these jogs/walks/eventual gasp-filled staggers, I try to persuade him to steal someone’s copy of the New York Times for me (jokingly, lest anyone in my ‘hood suspect their stolen papers have been brought to my lair). Of course, he never complies, beacon of morality that he is.

Can someone help me with this crossword? I’ve been working on it since Saturday. Now you can all see how cultured I am, and how cultured I am not. I’ve barely filled in a third of this thing 😦

So, on this particular morning, we happened to pass a neighbor who was retrieving her copy from the doorstep and noticed that she had received two papers for some reason. We alerted her to this and she was generous enough to give us her second copy. Nice, right? We introduced ourselves, and eventually to show my gratitude I offered to make her some muffins.

I’m sure none of us took me very seriously (yes, I am including me). Still, Sunday morning, I awoke with the intention to bake. Like I said, I’ve missed it. And I’m trying to be a woman of my word these days. And she gave us the Sunday Times! She deserved some baked goods. Blueberry baked goods at that. My new favorite cookbook once again assists.

Blueberry Muffins (makes a dozen)

3/4 cup of milk

1/4 cup of vegetable oil or melted butter

1 egg

2 cups of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup of fresh or frozen blueberries (this says you can also use canned blueberries but…gross)

2 tablespoons of coarse sugar or granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 400°F and grease the bottoms of a 12-cup muffin tin. You know what I found out from this very book? Greasing the sides of pans when making muffins or breads can actually burn and crisp up the sides, giving an unwanted crust on your goods. So only grease your bottoms. That was weird, I realize this.

In a large bowl, whisk together milk, oil or butter and egg until fully mixed. Then, all at once, stir in flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Now, and this is important, stir until you’ve got a lumpy mess. Do NOT try to smooth this batter out. Stir just until the flour has all been moistened, or you’ll come out with a dozen dry blueberry rocks. Not delicious.

Lumpy batter.

Next, very carefully fold in your blueberries. Try not to upset the batter too much, as we don’t want to overmix. Evenly distribute among your muffin cups, and sprinkle the tops with coarse or granulated sugar.

Send these into the oven for about 20 to 25 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through baking, and remove when the tops are golden brown.

Gooey Sunday Breakfast

Let these cool for about 10 minutes in the pan, then pop out and eat while warm. Oh, please eat them warm.

Obviously we had to keep a few  six of these behind to test them. All six passed. 😉

Now, you’re probably wondering about the title of this post. So, once I was done making these muffins, my boyfriend asked how I planned on delivering them to our neighbor. I very casually stated that I was planning on leaving them at her door with a nice note, ringing the doorbell…and then running away. In his mind, said note would have looked like this:

Dear Neighbor,

Your generous gift of the Sunday Times did not go unnoticed. Here are some muffins. We’re even now. Don’t smile at me on the street. 

Regards,

Sybil

Har har.

Confession time: I am a painfully shy human being who often comes off as uptight, mostly because I try not to engage people… mostly because I’m afraid people will hate me once I engage. Really. Many of the people I’ve grown close to over the years have said that when they first met me, they thought they’d hate me. I bet some of them even did hate me until I decided to open my mouth and my heart (awww, precious). It’s something that I’m still working on correcting, but for anyone who reads this before meeting me, I swear I’m nice, and I’m sorry I scowled at you.

BF helped me muster up the courage to deliver the muffins in person. I can’t say I wasn’t uncomfortable and super awkward about the whole thing (I tend to do this weird, nervous laugh that I can’t suppress, and that I am fairly certain I’ve inherited from my father), but I am happy that I kept that promise. I’m also glad we got to know our neighbors, and happy to report that as far as I know, they don’t hate me! Hooray!

Categories
Classic Favorites No-Bake Recipes

Geez…Who WAS That Masked Intruder? Ah Well…Let’s Get Sticky!

Inside joke-y photo sent to me by Melinda. Words to the wise, kids.

Ok, guys, let me start with the big question: who was that whiny twit womanning this blog in the last few posts? I was reading them and was all, “What’s her champagne problem now? Let me save up my rupees and see if I can come up with enough dough to buy her the tiniest violin in the world.” I’m right, right? Such complaints this one had! Anyway, instead of yammering on and on, let me provide you with some quick updates on the Life of Shibow:

1. It won’t stop raining in New York, and I am PISSED, with a capital PISSED.

2. HOLGRAM TUPAC!!!!! I cannot stop talking about this. It will never cease to amuse me. Never.

3. Guess who landed herself in the emergency room! I’ve got no idea what happened other than it hurt like a mother to breathe and I spent a good three hours crying and lamenting the current state of the city hospital system begging to be discharged before some other stranger in scrubs started inexplicably poking and prodding me. It was hell. It was pure hell. But fear not, dear readers, after much fretting and hand-wringing it was determined that I will not, in fact, expire any time soon, at least not of an asthma-related meltdown.

4. BOY DID I MISS YOU GUYS! ❤

5. I am so sick of the NYC subway system. Just the other day, the doors to the F train shut while I was boarding and gave me a nasty arm burn. The next morning, a woman spilled her Coffee Coolata on me and then LAUGHED. The soulless slob of a beast laughed! I hate this city.

6. I got a Twitter! I sort of still don’t get it, but follow me anyway, please! Also, speaking of Twitter, and the NYC subway, follow this chap too!

I guess I did need a little bit of a break. Truth be told,  I am feeling a little better about things, and hopefully, should #1 cease to be true in the near future, I’ll feel a LOT better about things. I was able to muster up enough of a sugar craving/curiosity to want to try and bake something new and interesting, and finally decided on something so messy that I’d literally be stuck to it for hours and hours: marshmallows!

So, obviously, those jet-puffed creations that you wedge into your yams and roast over open fires every now and again are made by somebody. Still, for some reason it never occurred to me that they could be made by this body. Oh, but they can. And MOTHER are they messy.

Now, the great thing about these babies, especially if your sucky new-ish oven sort of reminds you of the ones you’ve seen at colonial houses on your sixth grade field trips, is that they’re no-bake. This, in my opinion, makes them yes-awesome. Let’s do it!

Marshmallows That Can Double As Part Of A Low-Budget Spiderman Costume…A Delicious Low-Budget Spiderman Costume (makes like 24 or something…you’ll see what I mean)

1 cup of water, divided

3 packets (.25 oz each) of powdered gelatin

1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar

1 cup of light corn syrup

1 large pinch of salt

1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

Confectioner’s sugar, for coating (you’ll need lots…and then a bit more than that)

Oh, also, if you’ve got a candy thermometer, it will come in handy. If you don’t, you’re me, and you like doing things the inconvenient way. First, lightly grease a 9 x 9 square baking pan with butter or oil, and set aside. Next, pour 1/2 cup of your water into a large bowl and sprinkle the gelatin over it, distributing the gelatin evenly. Leave it be… it will look super strange in just a few minutes.

See? Super strange.

Combine the rest of your water, and the sugar, salt and corn syrup in a medium-sized saucepan. Cook this mixture over low heat, stirring constantly, until the sugar has completely dissolved. Raise to medium heat and let the mixture come to a boil without stirring it. If you have a candy thermometer, you can insert it now. If you start to see some of the mixture sticking to the sides, you can brush down with a pastry brush that has been dipped in cold water. But DON’T stir. When the mixture registers at 240ºF, remove from heat and let it sit for one minute.

Boiling point. Pretty, huh?

Now, if you don’t possess a candy thermometer, this next step will be slightly tricky for you. Basically, you’re trying to get the above concoction to reach “soft-ball stage.” What this means is when a drop of the mixture is placed into a bowl of cold water, the mixture will immediately form itself into a soft ball. Since I refused to buy myself a thermometer because I am cheap and lazy, I used this method. It took about 5 minutes after the mix reached the boiling point to get to this stage.

Next, using a hand or stand mixer on low speed, slowly and carefully pour the hot syrupy mixture into the bowl of water/gelatin until fully incorporated. Then, gradually increase the speed to high and proceed to beat for about 10 minutes. Add the vanilla and beat for about 30 seconds longer.

If you have a hand mixer, I am you, and I feel for both of us. All I can say is that the result will be worth the effort, especially if you’re in a funk and need something fun and trying with which to occupy your time. Not pointing fingers, though if I were pointing fingers they’d be pointing at me.

Take your time with this one. At first you won’t believe it could look like the above, and then….oh…whoa…for real?! This will get Ghostbusters-crazy.

Immediately transfer the marshmallow-y goodness to your greased pan. I’m going to be honest with you: this will suck. Seriously, if there is a way to do this so that all of the marshmallow fluff stuff from the bowl goes into the pan, I know not of it. Get as much of it as you can in, then lightly wet your fingers and try to smooth the top out as much as possible. Let this stand uncovered at room temperature for at least 2 hours.

If you want, you can add all sorts of coatings to this– cocoa powder, cinnamon sugar, etc. For my first try, though, I decided to keep these classic. If you’d like to do the same, once yours are firm, coat your hands in confectioner’s sugar, then cut the marshmallows into squares with a scissor that is also coated in confectioner’s sugar. Cover the marshmallows in this sugar, as well. Seal in an airtight container.

Then you can feed them to your significant other, friend or family member, but only if this person is also covered in confectioner’s sugar. I’m just trying to see if you’re still paying attention. *Wink*

So, believe it or not, I actually made marshmallows! And even though this was the goopiest, messiest process ever, it was fun and relatively easy. Luckily, Mr. Master Of the Baking Arts was there to figure out how best to cut these suckers, because Lord knows I am no good with that process. These were even better on the second day! Also, there is nothing better than a s’more containing homemade marshmallows.  Best bad decision ever. 😉

Caused a hell of a mess in our toaster oven. And it was WORTH IT.
Categories
Cakes Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites

Caked Up, But Not Really, But It’s Really Good Cake

As I’d mentioned in my last post, I did not want to make this cake. There are so many reasons, but basically this unwillingness to bake boils down to a combination of exhaustion, laziness, and downright super sadness. I know this is supposed to be the blog in which I bake in order to rid myself of the blues, but I was too down to even get my ingredients in order.

So what happened, you ask? Nothing really, I guess. Like I’ve said before though, I feel like things have just stalled a little too much for my liking. I’m not really sure where my skills lie anymore, and after those Samoa bars turned out less than amazing, I started to even wonder whether or not I could successfully make anything. I know that sounds like quite the exaggeration, and I know that there are worse things than realizing you screwed up a Girl Scout cookie recipe, but lots of other things have happened, and lots of other things have not happened (ooo, cryptic), and and and… and I’m just a little down right now. Sigh.

I decided to try and engage in a little bit of online retail therapy to heal myself. Below is a brief timeline detailing how this worked out:

11:00am: What’s a shortcake basket? It sure doesn’t look like a basket. I guess it could be classified as a dozen little baskets nestled in one big pan. But I still don’t get it. I should buy it and find out what it is. Then I can blog about something I made using my shortcake basket. I am going to add this to my cart.

11:05am: I would look so cool in a bomber jacket. I should try to find a bomber jacket.

11:10am: I’ve got no right to wear a bomber jacket.

11:11am: I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller.

11:30am: What the hell is a shortcake basket and why is it in my checkout cart?! DELETE.

Yeah. So… let’s just make a damn cake.

This recipe was taken from an amazing Betty Crocker cookbook that three of my wonderful friends gave me as a birthday present last year. I cannot tell you how much I love this thing.

Chocolate Cake That’s Impossible to Screw Up Taste-Wise, But Very Possible To Screw Up Looks-Wise

2 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour

1 2/3 cups of granulated sugar

2/3 cup of cocoa powder

1 teaspoon of salt

1/4 teaspoon of baking powder

1 1/4 cups of water

3/4 cup of butter, softened

2 eggs

1 teaspoon of vanilla

Grease either a 9×13″ cake pan or two 8″ round pans and set aside. Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

And now, this is kind of why I love this cake: you just throw everything into a bowl and get mixing. Oh, you also put on an apron and/or your least-favorite articles of clothing. Lastly, you hide your very-neat boyfriend/roommate/parents/pet who would tremble at the sight of a chocolate-covered kitchen. Mix in a large bowl on high speed until smooth and creamy, then divide the batter evenly between pans. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center of cake comes out with a few crumbs sticking to it. Let cakes cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then invert them onto wire racks to cool completely.

Creamy Vanilla Frosting (makes enough to frost an 8″ 2-layer cake or a 9×13″ sheet cake)

3 cups of powdered sugar

1/3 cup of softened butter

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 to 2 tablespoons of milk, plus more milk than that because this recipe is trippin’ if it thinks all you need is a couple of tablespoons of milk. Just keep it nearby is what I’m saying.

As you can probably tell, I had some issues with this frosting. I’m sure there were screw-ups on my part, because it didn’t come out terribly fluffy. It tasted damn good…but still. Anyway, make sure your butter is REALLY soft. Using a hand mixer on medium speed, combine it with your powdered sugar until fluffy, then add in vanilla and one tablespoon of milk, then slowly add in your other tablespoon of milk if you think the frosting isn’t soft enough. I’m pretty sure you’re going to need more milk, especially since my frosting started to stick to my cake and YANK CHUNKS OF CAKE OFF. Grrr. Anyway, yeah, be careful.

Want to hear some more lame stuff that happened? Apparently I don’t know how to slice a cake horizontally, so mine looked a tiny bit jacked up. But let me tell you what you should do: pick one of your chocolate cakes to use as your bottom layer. To flatten the top of it, carefully and slowly saw through the very top using a serrated knife. Don’t just hack at it because you’re mad at life. If you’re mad at life and end up hacking at it a little bit, use your frosting to cover up your mistakes. Use a rubber spatula and get spreading. Top with the other cake, then spread frosting all over the cake. I can’t tell you how to do it so it looks pretty, BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT SO IT LOOKS PRETTY. See below.

Hot mess, wouldn’t you say? After frosting this, I had a bit of a meltdown and threatened to throw this cake into the garbage with the fake Samoas I had made, “so that these two failures could make sweet love in trashland.” Yes, I was angry. But do you know how angry I was after I cut into this thing and took a bite?

Wait for it…

….Wait for it

…I WAS NOT ANGRY AT ALL. I was only grateful that I decided to taste this thing before destroying it. It is, hands down, the best chocolate cake I have ever made. It’s soft, crumbly, chocolatey and well worth the effort. This is a go-to, fail-proof chocolate cake. Make this, dear friends. Make this, learn how to decorate it, and make me proud.