Category: Cookies

Categories
Cakes Classic Favorites Cookies

I’ve Been a Puppet, a Pauper, a Pirate, uh, an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Pie

I picked this because asi es la vida! Subtitulos Espanol!

First, I really want to thank everyone for the messages of concern, the hugs and, yes, even the “WTF WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?!” scoldings after my last post. I’m totally fine, albeit still just the tiniest bit annoyed/shaken up, but it was really surprising and touching to realize how many people were concerned for me. Thanks for caring, homies! I love you, too!

So I’ve tried to stop airing out all my drama and problems on social media, because I’m private and it’s boring and I’d much rather use Facebook to ask for book recommendations and post delightfully nerdy stuff like this. But I guess this is kind of social media too, right? In my mind, since I am both a grump and currently a hermit, this blog is more anti-social media. That sort of justifies, for me at least, all the whining I do on this thing. Feel me? Hope so, because I’m feeling complain-y!

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Vermont, ignored all my many health problems, and climbed a friggin’ mountain. Ok, we hiked  the thing, but it was still pretty damn scary, especially toward the cold, windy top, where I almost lost a precious Mets cap and my balance. Notice how I mention the hat first. Priorities, kids.

Yes, that's me beneath the oversized hoodie and mess of curly craziness.
Yes, that’s me beneath the oversized hoodie and mess of curly craziness.

Anyway, I think I’ve mentioned about a bajillion and one times that I have moderate-to-severe asthma, and I think I’ve also maybe mentioned that sometimes I try to pretend I don’t and hike mountains. That’s how things like chest pains, panic attacks and altitude sickness happen, methinks.

Ok, only the chest pains occurred right after descent. The other two came in the days after our trip to the Green Mountain State. My very, very wise decision to go straight up and straight down the highest point in Vermont, combined with my lack of proper hydration and general moronic tendencies have led to a couple of weeks of dizziness, loopy-ness (more than usual, yes, thank you for asking) and sadness. I’ve been trying to get a doctor’s appointment just to make sure something didn’t fly into my ear on a peak and that I don’t literally have rocks for brains now, but my appointments keep getting cancelled by the office. The service I book through, however, has offered me an Amazon gift card for my troubles. Free monies guys! Priorities!

All of this sickness has been helped along by a really, really difficult week that’s left me wondering what…well, what the hell. I hate to be all me, me, me on this thing (that’s an invitation for any good news from you, readers… I’d love to celebrate some happy stuff on the blog!), but, well, life’s been tough on me lately. I mean, you can do everything possible to try to make your life a positive, happy, fulfilling one, and then something completely out of your control can come along and make you want to give all that positivity the finger. That’s life, right Mr. Sinatra?

Anyway, baking because sad, comforting recipe,easy deliciousness, on and on, you know the drill, please let’s just do this.

Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Pie (makes one 9-inch round pie)

adapted from Serious Eats

For the pie

3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1 1/2 cups of old-fashioned oats

1 stick of softened butter

1/2 cup of brown sugar

1/4 cup of granulated white sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1/2 cup of raisins

For the icing

1/3 cup of confectioners’ sugar

1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon of heavy cream

Preheat your oven to 350ºF and grease either a 9-inch springform pan or pie plate.

In a medium bowl, sift together flour, cinnamon, salt, baking soda and oats, and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, cream together butter and sugars until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla, then add in dry ingredients and mix just until combined. Gently fold in raisins.

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Spread batter into pan and use a rubber spatula to flatten and even out the top as much as possible. Bake until the top is golden brown, about 20 to 25 minutes. Let pie cool in pan for 5 minutes before releasing. Let cool completely.

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Now, on to the super-easy icing. In a small bowl, stir together confectioners’ sugar and heavy cream until you reach the desired consistency. Drizzle atop the pie, in any fashion you’d like. I poured the icing into a small sandwich bag and snipped a corner off to drizzle, since I don’t trust the fashion I’d like.

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Pretty, right? It was also yum. AND I cut down the sugar quite a bit and it was STILL yum. I swear. I even got confirmation from two kids (who cannot tell a lie, I’ve been told). One exclaimed “I LOVE it” several times before going for extra helpings, and one announced “It’s bad,” in between large bites and before also going for a second helping. That’s life.

Categories
Classic Favorites Cookies

It’s Peanut Butter Cry Extensively Time.

Uh…a warning, friends and readers, readers and friends. The following few paragraphs are kind of sort of really depressing. Feel free to skip directly to the recipe if you’d like. I’ll still love you. ❤

So, awful things have happened in the last few days.

Last monsoon-disgusting Friday night, as I was walking home from the subway station, I noticed a disturbed man about fifty feet in front of me, screaming at no one in particular and thrashing about wildly. Guess what? The dude’s coat was the same color as mine, and since I happened to be walking in the same direction I guess I gave the impression that I was following him or mocking him or something, which did not endear me to him (not that I was looking for that but…whatever). And this one, rainy, horrible night, absolutely no one was around to help. There was not a soul walking or driving down the normally busy street in front of my apartment building. I was afraid that if I ran, he’d run after me. I was afraid if I screamed, he’d scream louder and drown me out. I was afraid if I pulled out my phone to call someone, he’d threaten to kill me. And guess what? The second a person did show up to help me and calm me down, the second I did pull out my phone to dial the cops, this man did threaten to kill me. He saw me with my phone from across the street, saw what I was doing, and threatened to kill me.  Every bad thing I’ve ever thought could ever happen to me was starting to happen, and I was paralyzed. I felt scared, defeated, stupid, embarrassed and angry all at once.

I saw him walk away, thought he had left, and made my way with helpful stranger in tow towards my building, where the man brushed right by me…and then disappeared around a corner. Just like that, it was all over, and I ran into my apartment shaking and crying and attempting to explain what had just happened in stutters and spurts to my boyfriend.

So now what I’m thinking is, I have this army-green coat that I never want to wear again, and maybe I don’t want to live in New York anymore, maybe I can’t live in New York anymore, maybe I’m too scared or too sensitive or too irritable or too something. And thinking all of that upsets me and breaks my heart a little bit.

photo(3)
A hilarious doodle by my friend Jeremy. This is meant to cheer those of you who who just read all that emo stuff up. Thanks, Jeremy!

Also, my landlord has decided to sell our apartment and has left us to deal with a rather snobby, pushy realtor who insists on inserting herself into our living space (and kicking us out) whenever she pleases in order to hold open houses or show nosy strangers around. So, there’s that.

I know I’m not usually so forthcoming. Actually, I’m typically kind of sketchy, no? I haven’t really told anyone but my boyfriend and my younger sister–and, uh, the cops–what happened, which makes it even stranger that I’d want to tell the world in a blog post. I also hope I don’t sound like I’m being dramatic at all. I know much worse happens every day and I know much worse could have happened that day. But I’m still kind of shaken up by it all, and I guess I consider myself a writer, and sometimes the only way to heal a wound is by doing something that you love. That means writing, and that means baking, specifically baking something comforting.

Believe it or not, even though peanut butter is my jam (ha…ha?), I have never made a peanut butter cookie. I have no idea how I have made it to this age without doing so, but now is the time to get cracking. Armed with a cookie book gifted to us by some awesome, awesome friends, I got to it. It’s peanut butter cookie time.

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies (makes about 30 cookies)

adapted from a recipe in Carole Walter’s Great Cookies

1 cup of all-purpose flour

1/3 cup of quick-cooking or rolled oats

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 cup natural peanut butter, crunchy or smooth (I used smooth because I was trying to get rid of a jar of it, but crunchy would likely rule your and my world if you let it)

1 stick of butter, softened

1 1/2 tablespoons of honey

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

1/3 cup of brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon of pure vanilla extract

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In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, oats, baking soda, baking powder and salt, and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, or using a hand mixer, beat together peanut butter, butter, honey and sugars. When smooth, beat in egg until fully mixed. Stir in vanilla extract.

Fold in dry ingredients and mix just until combined, then send into your refrigerator for about an hour, or until the batter is completely chilled.

Scoop out tablespoon-sized balls onto your cookie sheets, about two inches apart. Then, with a fork, lightly flatten each ball, making a “crisscross” pattern.

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I know, I know, messy. Or as I like to call them, “rustic.”

Place cookie sheets in oven– one on top rack, one on bottom rack– for 11 to 13 minutes. To be honest, I would and did take them out around 11 minutes, since these especially tend to bake very quickly. Towards the end of baking, rotate the pans and switch racks to ensure even baking, and take out when the tops are very lightly browned.

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Let cool on pans for about a minute, then move to wire racks until completely cooled.

Verdict? Well, believe it or not, these actually made me feel so much better. Peanut butter is my comfort food. My boyfriend will tell you that I can often be seen hovering in front of the open fridge, with my back to him, obviously trying to hide the fact that I am sneaking spoonfuls of PB. I have problems.

These cookies are remarkable. I actually cut the sugar quite a bit, and went for all-natural peanut butter, which is unsweetened, so I was skeptical of how they’d ultimately taste. But they were peanut buttery amazeballs. Really. I even took it just a step further and did this:

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Peanut butter and jelly sandwich cookies, which may or may not be replacing my daily peanut butter and jelly sandwich lunch. Bread is for birds anyway, right? Don’t judge me. Please don’t judge me.

Categories
Cookies Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Strange and Yummy

Booze Inside Of Cookies And Feelings Inside Of Sad Shibow. It’s A Share Circle.

Is it not a circle if I’m the only one sharing? Or is it the smallest circle possible? Should I keep pacing around in a ring as I share in order to make it a share circle? Can someone else join the share circle? Can preferably two people join in order to make this something that sort of resembles a circle? Ugh. So many questions!

I’d actually rather not pace around, especially since I’ve just had a few too many red wine cookies and I’m feeling a little bit strange. Also, walking and talking to myself would do very little to combat my feelings of loserliness (Yes, it’s a word now. I’m working on the Wikipedia entry as you read this). I honestly thought this would be the post where I chastised myself for all of the other incredibly emo posts that have made their way onto this blog in recent weeks. But then some crap happened.

One Monday morning a couple of weeks ago, I stepped off the F train, proud of myself for being very early to work, and immediately slipped, fell and landed on my knee. Now, it’s winter in New York, which means that in addition to picking myself up, I was carrying about five pounds of goose-down/furry hat/wool gloves/large and imposing boots. And yes, I say picking myself up, because the people of this great city are so amazingly generous that instead of even asking if I was okay, pretty much everyone around/behind me flashed me the same dirty move-peon-I’m-trying-to-get-somewhere look. So basically I limped to work as I called my boyfriend and cried about how much I hate everyone.

Now I know I’m not entitled to anything, including help. But I also know that if I saw someone who was obviously in some sort of distress, I would freaking assist. So I’m not exactly in love with New York right now. Other fabulous places of the world, please note that I am now accepting applications!

That isn’t the only bad thing that happened recently, either. It basically was just the fall that broke the brown girl’s figurative back (and literal spirit). I just would rather stop complaining now and start talking to you about these red wine cookies I made. Hide your phones, hand your car keys over to a designated driver and hang out: we’re getting boozy.

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Red Wine Cookies

1 stick of butter, softened

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of vanilla

1/2 cup of red wine

1 egg

1 3/4 cup of flour

1/4 teaspoon of salt

Pinch of black pepper

Pinch of cinnamon

3/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Mix in vanilla and egg, then stir in wine. Add in flour, salt, pepper and cinnamon and mix until batter forms.

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Line baking sheets with parchment paper, then drop small tablespoonfuls onto the sheet, about an inch apart, as these will spread a bit.

Bake for ten minutes, then let cool completely.

Now, melt your chocolate chips, either in a microwave or in a saucepan over a bowl of simmering water (make sure the water doesn’t touch the saucepan at all, as this will cause the chocolate to curdle).  Spread chocolate on the bottom of one cookie, then sandwich together with a kind of similar looking cookie.

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Verdict? These are CRAZY. They’re crazy. They’re just plain insane…in the brain…of the cookie. I actually thought the booze would bake off in the oven, but it did not. After two of these, I was singing ridiculous ballads and saying very inappropriate things. So I’m totally serious when I say that you should proceed with caution when it comes to these treats.

Categories
Classic Favorites Cookies Easy Baking

Gratitude, THAT Holiday, And A Request, Dear Readers!

Originally, my plan was to post this recipe about a week ago, and then post a couple more before the big Christmas holiday that I adore oh so little. But, to be honest, I haven’t been able to really focus on very much this past week. The tragedy that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut a week and a day ago hit me harder than anything’s hit me in a long, long time. Seriously, there was one night where I just completely broke down just thinking about it.

This is going to be a short blog post, mostly because I just don’t have it in me to write a longer one. Before I continue with today’s [very, very easy] recipe, I’d like to make a request of all of you, if you’re up for it.

Some of you might be aware of Ann Curry’s #26acts movement, in which she encourages Twitter followers (and, really, anyone) to perform 26 acts of kindness in honor of the 26 people who died in Newtown on December 14th. I’m going to commit myself to doing this, and I’d like to ask you all to do the same. Now, as many of you know me as a shy, quiet sometimes-grump, you know this will not be easy for me. But it’s a challenge worth taking up. Let’s do this, readers.

It could be as simple as:

– Baking something for someone you know and appreciate but don’t get to tell as often as you’d like

– Baking something for someone you don’t know personally but appreciate, like your mail carrier, doctors and nurses working on Christmas Day, police officers, etc.

– Writing thank-you cards to emergency workers and dropping them off at your local post offices, fire stations, hospitals, etc.

– Paying a stranger a [G-rated] compliment (New Yorkers, I realize we’re all more skeptical than most, but maybe let’s play nice?)

– Keeping up the donations to Sandy victims

– Dropping off new/gently used children’s books and toys to a local elementary school

– Mailing a letter (A paper one! With a stamp and everything!) to someone you love, near or far

– Letting someone ahead of you in line

– Thanking the cashier at the grocery store, the barista at the coffee shop, the guy behind the counter at your favorite record store, for all they do

– Paying for some/all of the items belonging to the person behind you in line (if you can afford this, of course)

There are a LOT more that are probably much more creative than the ones I’ve listed. And yes, of course the first two suggestions involve baking. But hey, baking’s not as difficult as you think it is. I mean, if I can kind of do it, anyone really can. In fact, to get you started, there are easy recipes here, here, here, here and here. Oh, and here. See? So many easy things to get into. There’s also the below recipe, which I made for my coworkers as part of a little holiday assortment. There are five ingredients in this thing. It seriously does not get easier!

Cookie Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies (makes about 30 cookies)

1 11-ounce jar of Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter or Biscoff spread (yup, I sure did tweak this)

2 large eggs

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350ºF and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a stand mixer or with a hand mixer on medium speed, beat together cookie butter and eggs until smooth, about two minutes. Reduce the speed to low and gradually add the flour, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula from time to time, until a dough forms. Fold in chocolate chips and stir until distributed evenly.

Using a tablespoon, scoop out balls of dough onto sheets. Don’t worry about spacing these out, since the batter won’t spread while this bakes. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the tops are no longer shiny. Make sure not to over-bake these, as they’ll dry out with too much time in the oven.

SONY DSCTiny and adorable, right? They’re also kind of ridiculously tasty, with a hint of gingerbread-y, creamy, crunchy, buttery goodness on top of all of the awesomesauciness that is to be found in regular chocolate chip cookies.

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I give you not only my blessing, but my please do-please do-please do- encouragement to make these. Seriously. They’re so easy, so good, and so quick (both to make and to eat). Make them for someone you’d like to hold tight, someone you’d like to just shake hands with, someone you’ve always appreciated. Just make them.

Have a safe and happy holiday, readers. I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate each and every one of you. If I could, I’d bake a batch of these for each of you. Please accept this virtual hug instead, and please join me in committing to 26 acts of kindness. Love to you all!

Categories
Bars Cakes Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites Cookies

Sad Shibow Turns One! Let’s Celebrate By Failing Spectacularly At Something, And Then Celebrate More By Gorging Ourselves On Cake

Baby Fat Shibow's First Birthday

This picture’s from my first birthday. I’d never seen it before last night, and after viewing it I promptly burst into tears. Don’t ask me why. It’s been a weird year so far.

Wow. Just…wow. We actually made it. Can I be honest with ya’ll? When I started this blog one year ago today, I was in a crummy (or crumby, get it? Get it? Nyuk nyuk, I’m clever) place. I was physically and emotionally injured man, and I mostly began writing this thing because it distracted me from the hurt back and the hurt heart. I never really imagined that people would actually keep up with this blog, much less enjoy and (sometimes) look forward to it. So if you’ve read this blog, if you’re reading it now, if you’ve ever said a kind word about it, baked something you saw here or simply clicked on something because you saw chocolate and like chocolate, THANK YOU. Thank you for encouraging me to stick with this tiny little blog, and thank you for putting up with me. I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel for all of the amazing people and experiences that have made their way into my life in the past 365 days. Some have been because of this blog, and some have not, but all have shown me how lucky I am to have you guys.

Now, I need to be honest with myself, and with all of you: I am not a good baker. Well, I’m ok. But I’m not a great baker. I know great bakers. They work at places like Butter Lane, or they’re college students named Rhea Mol (HI RHEA MOL!). I recently came to this realization after attempting to make Samoa bars. The Girl Scout treats are #2 on my list of “Cookies That I’ll Need When The World Goes Dark And Only Five People Are Left But The Other Four People Aren’t Into Cookies So My Cookie Stash Is Safe.” Rainbow cookies are #1. Mint chocolate chip cookies did not make the list, and never will, FYI.

Anyway, I think I screwed these bars up something fierce, but my boyfriend claims they are actually really good. That’s why he’s my boyfriend. Let me tell you what I did, and then let me tell you what you should not do.

Things That I Did That You Should Not Do (Unless You Want Sucky Bars)

1. I halved the recipe. You should not halve the recipe.

2. I used Werther’s Caramelts, which are not the same as regular caramels, and are actually not very good by themselves at all. You should not blahblahblah…

3. I did not melt enough caramels, but then again it’s not like I had the right caramels anyway so I was already screwed. So you know what you should not do, right?

Cool. Let’s get to the recipe.

Samoa Bars (makes 30 bars)

For the shortbread base:

1/2 cup of sugar

3/4 cup of softened butter

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups of all-purpose flour

1/4 salt

For the coconut-caramel topping:

3 cups of shredded toasted coconut (toast in a 325º oven for 10 minutes until browned)

12 ounces of chewy caramels, but don’t get cute and try to get fancy ones that aren’t real caramels

1/4 teaspoon of salt

3 tablespoons of milk

10 ounces of semisweet chocolate (you can use chocolate chips)

Preheat your oven to 350°F.

Let’s start with the base. Grease a 9×13″ pan. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Add your egg and mix until fully combined (you may want a hand mixer for this), then stir in vanilla. Add flour and salt, a little at a time, until the mixture is crumbly and grainy. Pour into your pan and press evenly. Send into the oven for 20-25 minutes until the edges have been lightly browned. Let the base cool in the pan for ten minutes, then remove and let it cool completely on a wire rack.

To make the topping, place the UNWRAPPED caramels (I had to say it because you just never know) in a large saucepan over low heat. Add in your milk and salt, and stir until the mixture’s fully melted. Remove from heat and fold in toasted coconut. This will be a workout for your arms. I should know, as I am now ripped. Plunk large heaps of this caramel mixture onto your cookie base with a rubber spatula, then spread evenly until there’s a thick, gooey layer.

Grrr. No, this is NOT what melted caramel is supposed to look like.

Cut into 30 bars.

To melt your chocolate, place into a large bowl over another bowl of simmering water. Stir until completely melted. Dip the bottoms of your bars in the melted chocolate, then lay on parchment paper so the chocolate hardens. Then, using a spoon or a piping bag, drizzle more melted chocolate over the top.

Ok, honestly, these weren’t terrible. But they’re not Samoas, mostly because I’m the opposite of a genius and can’t understand what caramel is, apparently. They were good, but not good enough to keep me from beating myself up over the fact that THEY’RE NOT SAMOAS.

The night after I made these, I decided to make a chocolate cake, to prove to myself that I actually could bake. Let me be honest though, I did not want to make this cake. I was so tired, frustrated and depressed due to some seriously crappy weather that I basically needed to force myself to start this thing. I was going to include that recipe here as well, but I’m thinking it deserves its own post, because it’s probably the most amazing cake I’ve ever made. It’s also, visually, perhaps the ugliest. Stay tuned?

So friends, here’s to another year of screwing up recipes and eating the crazy, crumbly, messy pieces of sweetness anyway. Stay classy. ❤