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Booze Inside Of Cookies And Feelings Inside Of Sad Shibow. It’s A Share Circle.

Is it not a circle if I’m the only one sharing? Or is it the smallest circle possible? Should I keep pacing around in a ring as I share in order to make it a share circle? Can someone else join the share circle? Can preferably two people join in order to make this something that sort of resembles a circle? Ugh. So many questions!

I’d actually rather not pace around, especially since I’ve just had a few too many red wine cookies and I’m feeling a little bit strange. Also, walking and talking to myself would do very little to combat my feelings of loserliness (Yes, it’s a word now. I’m working on the Wikipedia entry as you read this). I honestly thought this would be the post where I chastised myself for all of the other incredibly emo posts that have made their way onto this blog in recent weeks. But then some crap happened.

One Monday morning a couple of weeks ago, I stepped off the F train, proud of myself for being very early to work, and immediately slipped, fell and landed on my knee. Now, it’s winter in New York, which means that in addition to picking myself up, I was carrying about five pounds of goose-down/furry hat/wool gloves/large and imposing boots. And yes, I say picking myself up, because the people of this great city are so amazingly generous that instead of even asking if I was okay, pretty much everyone around/behind me flashed me the same dirty move-peon-I’m-trying-to-get-somewhere look. So basically I limped to work as I called my boyfriend and cried about how much I hate everyone.

Now I know I’m not entitled to anything, including help. But I also know that if I saw someone who was obviously in some sort of distress, I would freaking assist. So I’m not exactly in love with New York right now. Other fabulous places of the world, please note that I am now accepting applications!

That isn’t the only bad thing that happened recently, either. It basically was just the fall that broke the brown girl’s figurative back (and literal spirit). I just would rather stop complaining now and start talking to you about these red wine cookies I made. Hide your phones, hand your car keys over to a designated driver and hang out: we’re getting boozy.


Red Wine Cookies

1 stick of butter, softened

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of vanilla

1/2 cup of red wine

1 egg

1 3/4 cup of flour

1/4 teaspoon of salt

Pinch of black pepper

Pinch of cinnamon

3/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Mix in vanilla and egg, then stir in wine. Add in flour, salt, pepper and cinnamon and mix until batter forms.


Line baking sheets with parchment paper, then drop small tablespoonfuls onto the sheet, about an inch apart, as these will spread a bit.

Bake for ten minutes, then let cool completely.

Now, melt your chocolate chips, either in a microwave or in a saucepan over a bowl of simmering water (make sure the water doesn’t touch the saucepan at all, as this will cause the chocolate to curdle).  Spread chocolate on the bottom of one cookie, then sandwich together with a kind of similar looking cookie.


Verdict? These are CRAZY. They’re crazy. They’re just plain insane…in the brain…of the cookie. I actually thought the booze would bake off in the oven, but it did not. After two of these, I was singing ridiculous ballads and saying very inappropriate things. So I’m totally serious when I say that you should proceed with caution when it comes to these treats.

Cookies Easy Baking Holiday desserts

You’re A Mean One, Sad Shibow

Right, Dove Chocolate? No wonder you and I are so cool with each other. One love.

As I’ve mentioned, I hate Christmas. I hate it for so many reasons that I can’t even fully articulate. I don’t really remember the last “great Christmas” I had.  I do, however, remember the Christmas where I was stuck in a hospital bed playing with a “Joy” (ha!) ornament my aunt had given me while a nebulizer was attached to my four year old face. I also remember the year I somehow contracted a weird stomach virus that left me unable to eat anything– specifically cookies, the only good part of this holiday, WTF– for a solid few days after December 25th. The worst. The WORST!

Here’s what I really hate about this holiday: people just aren’t that nice anymore. There’s too much of a focus on things, on checking off items/people on lists, on stampedes. And the Macy’s at Herald Square just completely freaks me out in December. Have you seen the Santa at Santaland? He wears like three different shades of eyeshadow! That’s just scary.

Okay, I am well aware of the fact that I just had an Andy Rooney-level super-grinch moment. I actually do a pretty solid Andy Rooney impression, by the way. But I don’t completely hate Christmas. Honestly, I get a kick out of shopping for all of the kids in the family, and my stone-cold heart grows to three times its size (is that how it goes?) when I get to deliver their gifts straight to their doors. I love picking out presents for people I love. I love knowing that some people have done the same for me, of their own volition. So maybe it’s just the commercials that bother me– the ones filled with countdowns to Christmas and ungrateful teenagers demanding certain gifts and scoffing at others (C’mon eBay!). And maybe there have been a few isolated incidents that have happened over the years, during this holiday, because of this holiday, that have soured it for me. Or maybe it’s just New York City, which I’m slowly starting to want to punch a little bit. But hey, I do know how to have a little fun:

Andy Rooney wouldn't be caught de-- oh. Never mind.

Whatever my reasons, I know what I do like about this time of year: COOKIES! SO. MANY. COOKIES! And these particular, pretty easy ones have been quite a hit with guests. Behold, the lacy oatmeal sandwich cookie! These are delicious, thin and crispy oatmeal cookies that can be– should be– spread with a thin layer of melted chocolate and sandwiched together. I mean, you can just leave them alone…but why?

Lacy Oatmeal Sandwich Cookie (makes 40 cookies or 20 sandwich cookies)

1 cup of quick cooking or old-fashioned oats (I used old-fashioned because I am your grandpa I guess)

1/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup of butter, softened

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips, melted (If you choose to make these sandwich cookies. You should choose to make these sandwich cookies.)

Preheat the oven to 325°F and line two baking sheets with wax paper. In a medium bowl, combine oats, flour, salt and baking powder. In a larger bowl, mix together sugar, butter, egg and vanilla. Stir in flour/oat mixture until just combined.

Then drop teaspoon-sized balls onto baking sheets. Make sure to use an actual teaspoon for these, to ensure even baking, and leave enough room for these to spread out and flatten.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes (make sure to check on them at the ten-minute mark, since mine were done by then), then let cool completely before peeling off the wax paper. Really, let these cool completely or they’ll break apart in your hands and you’ll be forced to eat the broken pieces. Poor you.

While you’re letting them cool, place the chocolate chips in a bowl with a teaspoon of butter. Set the bowl over a small saucepan filled with simmering water and stir until the chocolate’s completely melted. Spread a thin layer over the flat side of one cookie and top with another cookie. Then eat. And eat. And eat.

These really were quite a hit. My cousins loved them. I’ve also got someone staying with me this week who has repeatedly reached into my NY Giants helmet cookie jar for seconds and thirds (I’m going to be making another batch of these when I get home so that there are fourths to be had as well). That just warms my tiny grinch heart. These will definitely be added to my holiday assortment. Yes, even though I hate this holiday, there will be an assortment associated with it. Maybe I will even make gingerbread men. They will all be frowning and missing an eye. Maybe I will also make tree-shaped sugar cookies. They will have missing branches and purple icing. I fight The Man, because I can. Happy Holidays!

And lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA MOL! I love you my dear cousin, whom I consider my dear little sister, and wish you a year of cookies, cakes, happiness and love. Let’s bake something crazy together ASAP! ❤