Category: Grown Up People Desserts

Categories
Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Jams and Jellies Strange and Yummy

A *Very Special Episode* Of Sad Shibow, Featuring A Very Handsome Guest And…Jellied Black Tea With Cardamom (!!!)

Readers! The following is a post I am ridiculously excited to share. I think I’ve mentioned many times that my boyfriend James is kind of a genius when it comes to kitchen stuffs. As you’ll all see for yourselves, mama wasn’t lying. Enjoy, and I’ll see you all back here soon! xo – Sad Shibow

Hi people from over the computer,

Have you ever made Jell-o? Easy, right? Making Jelly is kinda like making Jell-o. You only need a handful of things, really: sugar, pectin, something you want to turn into a jelly, and one or two chromosomes that wear plaid shirts. Since we have all those things, and Sad Shibow let me near the stove Tuesday, we made some jelly from black tea. It was tasty! No kidding. We didn’t have any on hand, but I pictured its sweet jiggle on a Carr’s wheat cracker with some brie. Try it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed at all. Now, before anyone gets nervous about the doyenne’s absence, know this: Sad Shibow will be watching over you as she was watching over me as I made this. You’ve all seen Star Wars. She’ll be like Obi-Wan Kenobi when he was translucent and blue-ish. But Sad Shibow will be translucent orange-ish and riding on a mid-sized Indian elephant with long eyelashes (Ed. note: All of these things are true. None of these things are untrue). Are you getting all this down? So, don’t quake. This recipe is for everybody. If you can make a cup of tea, you can make this.

Enough foreplay. Together let’s march … jellyward!

Stuff you need:

3/4 cup of sugar
2 tbsp powdered pectin
2 small saucepans
wooden spoon
cardamom seeds
1 lemon
3 bags of your favorite black tea
4 cups of water
glass jar with a lid
Strainer

Other stuff you “need” (for the countrified effect)

A screen, somewhere in your house, that needs mending and is letting in junebugs that are so big that your cat has to chew them for a full thirty seconds before she swallows.
A Straw hat
hyphenated first name (Sybil-May, James-James)
Becoming, at one time or another, a specific shade of green when coveting your neighbor’s new tractor (John Deere Green)
Very firm ideas as to how pie thieves should be punished

Directions:

Fill your small saucepan up with your four cups of water. Set it on the stove, boil it. Turn the flame down lower and put your three teabags in, taking care to strip them of their paper anchors. Cut a lemon wedge and squeeze a little of its juice in. Hull six or seven of the cardamom seeds and put them in there too. Let it all simmer for about ten minutes.

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After the bell rings for the next round, come out swinging, then strain the contents of the saucepan into your other saucepan. Take your lemon. Grind some zest from it into the pan. Turn the heat up again. Get a good boil going then slowly stir in the sugar. Mix it until the sugar disappears into the tea. Next, add the pectin. Stir that in until it disappears.

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At this point you should feel like a magician. Picture yourself in a top hat as you stir the rolling boil for a few minutes. This will cook it down some. Turn off the flame. If you have a funnel, set it over the mouth of your jar and pour the contents in. Fill the first jar up about 3/4s of the way, then put the rest in the other jar.

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Let them sit there and steam for a few minutes. When they stop steaming, put the lids on and put them in the fridge. When they finally cool down, they will turn into… part of breakfast.

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Jelly on brie. Highly, highly recommended.

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BLACK TEA CARDAMOM JELLY.

Forgive me, being here next to this warm oven with this group of even warmer people has made me a little emotional.

Blotting my eyes with the corner of a buttery napkin,

James

Readers, you loved him, didn’t you? I knew you would. This fella is also an extremely talented author of fiction. Please check out his work here: http://jamesvhilger.blogspot.com/.

Categories
Cookies Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Strange and Yummy

Booze Inside Of Cookies And Feelings Inside Of Sad Shibow. It’s A Share Circle.

Is it not a circle if I’m the only one sharing? Or is it the smallest circle possible? Should I keep pacing around in a ring as I share in order to make it a share circle? Can someone else join the share circle? Can preferably two people join in order to make this something that sort of resembles a circle? Ugh. So many questions!

I’d actually rather not pace around, especially since I’ve just had a few too many red wine cookies and I’m feeling a little bit strange. Also, walking and talking to myself would do very little to combat my feelings of loserliness (Yes, it’s a word now. I’m working on the Wikipedia entry as you read this). I honestly thought this would be the post where I chastised myself for all of the other incredibly emo posts that have made their way onto this blog in recent weeks. But then some crap happened.

One Monday morning a couple of weeks ago, I stepped off the F train, proud of myself for being very early to work, and immediately slipped, fell and landed on my knee. Now, it’s winter in New York, which means that in addition to picking myself up, I was carrying about five pounds of goose-down/furry hat/wool gloves/large and imposing boots. And yes, I say picking myself up, because the people of this great city are so amazingly generous that instead of even asking if I was okay, pretty much everyone around/behind me flashed me the same dirty move-peon-I’m-trying-to-get-somewhere look. So basically I limped to work as I called my boyfriend and cried about how much I hate everyone.

Now I know I’m not entitled to anything, including help. But I also know that if I saw someone who was obviously in some sort of distress, I would freaking assist. So I’m not exactly in love with New York right now. Other fabulous places of the world, please note that I am now accepting applications!

That isn’t the only bad thing that happened recently, either. It basically was just the fall that broke the brown girl’s figurative back (and literal spirit). I just would rather stop complaining now and start talking to you about these red wine cookies I made. Hide your phones, hand your car keys over to a designated driver and hang out: we’re getting boozy.

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Red Wine Cookies

1 stick of butter, softened

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of vanilla

1/2 cup of red wine

1 egg

1 3/4 cup of flour

1/4 teaspoon of salt

Pinch of black pepper

Pinch of cinnamon

3/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Mix in vanilla and egg, then stir in wine. Add in flour, salt, pepper and cinnamon and mix until batter forms.

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Line baking sheets with parchment paper, then drop small tablespoonfuls onto the sheet, about an inch apart, as these will spread a bit.

Bake for ten minutes, then let cool completely.

Now, melt your chocolate chips, either in a microwave or in a saucepan over a bowl of simmering water (make sure the water doesn’t touch the saucepan at all, as this will cause the chocolate to curdle).  Spread chocolate on the bottom of one cookie, then sandwich together with a kind of similar looking cookie.

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Verdict? These are CRAZY. They’re crazy. They’re just plain insane…in the brain…of the cookie. I actually thought the booze would bake off in the oven, but it did not. After two of these, I was singing ridiculous ballads and saying very inappropriate things. So I’m totally serious when I say that you should proceed with caution when it comes to these treats.

Categories
Easy Baking Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts No-Bake Recipes Strange and Yummy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

I’m Brown. You Down? If Not, I Frown. (Basically, I’m Saying There’s Curry In This)

God, I’m such a poet. Right?

No?

Yeah…no. Anyway. I thought I’d try to lighten it up a little here since my last few posts caused some really strange and pitying looks/texts/Facebook messages/group interventions (kidding about that last one, don’t come near me, I’ll bite you).

Now listen here, you sweet, loving, concerned group of people: I am Sad Shibow. I cry a lot. Last Friday, I bawled over the last episode of Fringe. Then I re-watched the scene that initially had me in tears, and I lost it all over again.  I cried the other day because I can’t eat spicy food, and I really miss it. I’m a baby. But, you know, I’m fine. Ulcers suck, colds suck, the ongoing seemingly everlasting quarter-life crisis sucks. But life, overall, does not.

Methinks my change of ‘tude for this post may have something to do with this article, which I read this morning and can’t seem to stop thinking about. We can’t always be happy, but we can always try to find meaning in moments, however awful, or mundane, or wonderful or scary. So that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to remember that all of these things, these ulcers and conflicts and series finales and successfully baked goods, all of them mean something.

Is this getting weird? It is, isn’t it? No? I hope not. I swear, there’s a recipe in here too.  I just thought I’d get a little deep with you guys first, share some of my feelings, and also thank those of you who checked up on me after the last few posts.

Okay, so on to the real reason for that crazypants title: curry! Yes, there be curry in this sweet treat! And it is FANCY!And yes, I realize I am not supposed to be eating anything really spice-related. But ulcer be damned! This treat deserves my and your attention! Let’s get it, kids!

Your major players for today's game.
Your major players for today’s game. (Big up to Patel Brothers!)

Vanilla Curry Caramel Popcorn (I told you! Fancy!)

1 stick of butter

1 1/4 cup of brown sugar

2 teaspoons of curry powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon of baking soda

10 cups of plain popped popcorn ( made from 1/2 cup of unpopped kernels, if you’re making your own, which I really recommend)

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Line two baking sheets with wax paper and set aside. In a medium-sized pot, melt your butter over medium heat, then stir in your brown sugar, curry powder and salt. Bring the mixture to a rolling boil, stirring constantly, then step away and let this thing boil on it own for about five minutes.

Hi. Gosh you're pretty.
Hi. Gosh you’re pretty.

Remove from heat, and stir in vanilla and baking soda until combined.

Now, working pretty quickly, place popcorn in a large bowl. Pour your curry mixture evenly over the popcorn, then use a spoon to try to mix and coat the popcorn evenly. Ridiculous, I know. It is almost impossible to get this coated evenly, but, you know, try your hardest. You’ve all already aced the School of Sad Shibow simply by reading, so don’t go feeling all crazy if this part makes you want to eat your own hair (just me?).

Transfer popcorn to your baking sheets, spread evenly, and let cool completely. Then serve. And, well, be amazed.

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So, this is more of a group snack. I’d just like to say this because, um, I made this for me and my boyfriend, and after about six handfuls each, we both looked at each other and then at the bowl. It didn’t even look like we had made a dent. I mean, I made this about a month ago and still have some. So I guess it’s kind of like the Costco of desserts.

Oh, but that’s not a complaint. You have no idea how satisfying this stuff is. It’s spicy and sweet, reminiscent of caramel corn with a twist. A BIG twist. A very, very welcome twist. Just make sure that you’re either making this for a crowd or you have room in your pantry for enough leftovers to feed yourself until spring.

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Categories
Cakes Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Hi, I’m Sad Shibow, And I’m Kind Of A Mess. Let’s Have A Good Cry About It Over Some Cake.

BECAUSE I HAVE AN ULCER AND A COLD AND STRESS AND EXISTENTIAL CRISES AND…

How about you?

Yeah, so my feeling is the ulcer realized I was enjoying my pudding and ice cream far too much and decided to royally screw me by throwing a cold my way. Do you know what I like to have when I’m sick? Orange juice. Do you know what I can’t have due to my ulcer? Orange juice. Do you know what’s been calming my aching belly through this ulcer? Dairy products. Guess what I can’t have too much of when I’m sick? Well pudding and ice cream, of course! Do you know what really helps the constant headache that lovingly accompanies the common cold? Aspirin. And I think I can stop there.

Now, I know that FAR worse could have happened. I could have the awful flu strain that has plagued much of the country (Btw, any of you who do have it, I send you so many hugs. The flu is pure hell, and if there is anything I can do to help any of you through it, I will. Seriously, let me know.), and I am very grateful that I do not. I hope to continue to not have it. Please, powers that be, please. I already miss being pain-free. Please do not make me miss being mobile, too.

So, before all of this nonsense occurred, there was cake. Specifically, Christmas cake. Well, actually, there was nothing really Christmas-y about the actual cake, I just felt like waking up to it on Christmas morning, so..you know…Christmas cake!

By the way, three weeks too late, how was everyone’s Christmas? Mine ruled. I got a ukulele! It’s so perfect. I can’t stop talking about it/playing it (Sorry neighbors. But not really sorry, because I’m kind of terrible.) Also, I made the most amazing fritatta. I am so proud of this thing. Want to see?

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Ok, maybe I’m the only one who thinks this is amazing. Honestly I’m not feeling too wonderfully about myself these days, so hell, I’ll take what I can get. And if what I can get is a pretty-damn-delicious fritatta and a lemon olive oil cake, I’ll take both. And I’ll have seconds. And thirds. Don’t judge me.

Lemon Olive Oil Cake (makes one 9″ round cake)

4 large eggs

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Zest of 1 lemon

Juice of 2 lemons

Powdered sugar for serving, optional

Preheat your oven to 350ºF, and butter and flour a 9″ cake pan.

In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, beat together eggs and sugar on high speed, until pale and fluffy. With the mixer still on, pour olive oil and lemon juice into mixture, then turn off mixture and gently fold ingredients together using a rubber spatula.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt and zest, then gently fold into batter until all ingredients are fully incorporated. Pour into pan and bake for 45 minutes.

Let the cake cool in the pan for about 10 minutes, then invert onto a serving platter and dust with powdered sugar if you please.

I’m going to be honest with you: when this cake first came out of the oven, I “hmphed” at it and gave it the evil side-eye. It looked a little, well, drab. However, if you let it breathe for a bit (about an hour), you’ll get this:

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Need another look? Okay. You’ll also get this:

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Want to see again? How’s this:

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Um… gorgeous, right? I was pleasantly surprised. Boyfriend was in love with this thing. It really made an already lovely morning even lovelier. And honestly, as SOON as I’m all healed up, I am making this again. It was the perfect morning treat. It’s not terribly sweet or heavy, so you won’t feel disgusting first thing in the morning (at least not because of the cake. Sometimes I wake up a little gross, and eventually get down to acceptable by the end of day). Yum.

Oh, and by the way, I’m at sadshibow.com now! No more having to type in those pesky extra nine letters, fellow lazies! Woo-hoo for being mistress of my own domain!

Categories
Desserts with Fruit Easy Baking Frozen Desserts Grown Up People Desserts No-Bake Recipes

Frozen Boozy Fruit Pops. Or Sangria Poptails, If You’re Feeling Fancy.

And we’re always feeling fancy here, aren’t we? Oh, you’re not? Well, this is uncomfortable.

Anyway, let’s just fake it ’til we make it, shall we? Oh, you can’t? Why are you being so difficult today? You know what you sound like? You sound like a person in need of sangria. Frozen sangria. It’s on a stick. Just trust me.

Yes, this is another entry from The Party That Ruled The Roof (Bacon Sundae Party? Ringin’ a bell? Yay!), and it is so. worth. making. Basically, I wanted something cool (literally and figuratively, because I am soulful and deep in that way) and sophisticated (to make up for the fact that I am not) that our guests would enjoy and not spill on themselves and on my white tank top. Enter the sangria pop! It’s fruity, it’s light, and it’s BOOOOOOZY! Let’s roll, adults!

White Sangria Poptails (makes 12 Dixie cup pops)

1 1/2 cups of pinot grigio, divided

1 1/2 cups of Orange Peach Mango juice (Sorry for the product placement, but this is, like, the perfect juice for this. You can also use a combination of peach juice and orange juice if you want)

1 1/2 cups of mixed chopped fruit (I used mangoes, pineapples, grapes and raspberries. I highly recommend this most excellent combo)

2 tablespoons of lime or lemon juice (I used lime)

In a medium-sized bowl, combine 1 cup of your pinot grigio with all of your chopped fruit and set aside for about 20 minutes.

Pretty, no?

Once the 20 minutes is up, strain the fruit out, making sure to save the now-infused wine. Evenly distribute the chopped fruit amongst your popsicle molds/Dixie cups.

Then, take your fruit-infused cup of wine and mix with 1 cup of your Orange Mango Peach Juice and lime/lemon juice. Pour into molds, evenly distributing among them. Top each mold off with the remaining 1/2 cup of pinot and remaining 1/2 cup of juice. Lightly stir, then send into the freezer for about an hour. When the pops begin to freeze, insert a popsicle stick into each, and allow to freeze completely, at least three hours.

So, what was the consensus? First, it was… wtf?! Then it was…oh…oh, yes, new friend, hello. Then it was…hazy. These are pretty strong, so make sure you’re not downing one before operating a tractor or anything. For reals.

Honestly, these were YUMMY. I “accidentally” made too many and now have a freezer full of these, which, you know, makes life super difficult/delicious. HIGHLY recommended.