Category: Strange and Yummy

Categories
Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Jams and Jellies Strange and Yummy

A *Very Special Episode* Of Sad Shibow, Featuring A Very Handsome Guest And…Jellied Black Tea With Cardamom (!!!)

Readers! The following is a post I am ridiculously excited to share. I think I’ve mentioned many times that my boyfriend James is kind of a genius when it comes to kitchen stuffs. As you’ll all see for yourselves, mama wasn’t lying. Enjoy, and I’ll see you all back here soon! xo – Sad Shibow

Hi people from over the computer,

Have you ever made Jell-o? Easy, right? Making Jelly is kinda like making Jell-o. You only need a handful of things, really: sugar, pectin, something you want to turn into a jelly, and one or two chromosomes that wear plaid shirts. Since we have all those things, and Sad Shibow let me near the stove Tuesday, we made some jelly from black tea. It was tasty! No kidding. We didn’t have any on hand, but I pictured its sweet jiggle on a Carr’s wheat cracker with some brie. Try it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed at all. Now, before anyone gets nervous about the doyenne’s absence, know this: Sad Shibow will be watching over you as she was watching over me as I made this. You’ve all seen Star Wars. She’ll be like Obi-Wan Kenobi when he was translucent and blue-ish. But Sad Shibow will be translucent orange-ish and riding on a mid-sized Indian elephant with long eyelashes (Ed. note: All of these things are true. None of these things are untrue). Are you getting all this down? So, don’t quake. This recipe is for everybody. If you can make a cup of tea, you can make this.

Enough foreplay. Together let’s march … jellyward!

Stuff you need:

3/4 cup of sugar
2 tbsp powdered pectin
2 small saucepans
wooden spoon
cardamom seeds
1 lemon
3 bags of your favorite black tea
4 cups of water
glass jar with a lid
Strainer

Other stuff you “need” (for the countrified effect)

A screen, somewhere in your house, that needs mending and is letting in junebugs that are so big that your cat has to chew them for a full thirty seconds before she swallows.
A Straw hat
hyphenated first name (Sybil-May, James-James)
Becoming, at one time or another, a specific shade of green when coveting your neighbor’s new tractor (John Deere Green)
Very firm ideas as to how pie thieves should be punished

Directions:

Fill your small saucepan up with your four cups of water. Set it on the stove, boil it. Turn the flame down lower and put your three teabags in, taking care to strip them of their paper anchors. Cut a lemon wedge and squeeze a little of its juice in. Hull six or seven of the cardamom seeds and put them in there too. Let it all simmer for about ten minutes.

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After the bell rings for the next round, come out swinging, then strain the contents of the saucepan into your other saucepan. Take your lemon. Grind some zest from it into the pan. Turn the heat up again. Get a good boil going then slowly stir in the sugar. Mix it until the sugar disappears into the tea. Next, add the pectin. Stir that in until it disappears.

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At this point you should feel like a magician. Picture yourself in a top hat as you stir the rolling boil for a few minutes. This will cook it down some. Turn off the flame. If you have a funnel, set it over the mouth of your jar and pour the contents in. Fill the first jar up about 3/4s of the way, then put the rest in the other jar.

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Let them sit there and steam for a few minutes. When they stop steaming, put the lids on and put them in the fridge. When they finally cool down, they will turn into… part of breakfast.

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Jelly on brie. Highly, highly recommended.

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BLACK TEA CARDAMOM JELLY.

Forgive me, being here next to this warm oven with this group of even warmer people has made me a little emotional.

Blotting my eyes with the corner of a buttery napkin,

James

Readers, you loved him, didn’t you? I knew you would. This fella is also an extremely talented author of fiction. Please check out his work here: http://jamesvhilger.blogspot.com/.

Categories
Cookies Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts Strange and Yummy

Booze Inside Of Cookies And Feelings Inside Of Sad Shibow. It’s A Share Circle.

Is it not a circle if I’m the only one sharing? Or is it the smallest circle possible? Should I keep pacing around in a ring as I share in order to make it a share circle? Can someone else join the share circle? Can preferably two people join in order to make this something that sort of resembles a circle? Ugh. So many questions!

I’d actually rather not pace around, especially since I’ve just had a few too many red wine cookies and I’m feeling a little bit strange. Also, walking and talking to myself would do very little to combat my feelings of loserliness (Yes, it’s a word now. I’m working on the Wikipedia entry as you read this). I honestly thought this would be the post where I chastised myself for all of the other incredibly emo posts that have made their way onto this blog in recent weeks. But then some crap happened.

One Monday morning a couple of weeks ago, I stepped off the F train, proud of myself for being very early to work, and immediately slipped, fell and landed on my knee. Now, it’s winter in New York, which means that in addition to picking myself up, I was carrying about five pounds of goose-down/furry hat/wool gloves/large and imposing boots. And yes, I say picking myself up, because the people of this great city are so amazingly generous that instead of even asking if I was okay, pretty much everyone around/behind me flashed me the same dirty move-peon-I’m-trying-to-get-somewhere look. So basically I limped to work as I called my boyfriend and cried about how much I hate everyone.

Now I know I’m not entitled to anything, including help. But I also know that if I saw someone who was obviously in some sort of distress, I would freaking assist. So I’m not exactly in love with New York right now. Other fabulous places of the world, please note that I am now accepting applications!

That isn’t the only bad thing that happened recently, either. It basically was just the fall that broke the brown girl’s figurative back (and literal spirit). I just would rather stop complaining now and start talking to you about these red wine cookies I made. Hide your phones, hand your car keys over to a designated driver and hang out: we’re getting boozy.

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Red Wine Cookies

1 stick of butter, softened

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of vanilla

1/2 cup of red wine

1 egg

1 3/4 cup of flour

1/4 teaspoon of salt

Pinch of black pepper

Pinch of cinnamon

3/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Mix in vanilla and egg, then stir in wine. Add in flour, salt, pepper and cinnamon and mix until batter forms.

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Line baking sheets with parchment paper, then drop small tablespoonfuls onto the sheet, about an inch apart, as these will spread a bit.

Bake for ten minutes, then let cool completely.

Now, melt your chocolate chips, either in a microwave or in a saucepan over a bowl of simmering water (make sure the water doesn’t touch the saucepan at all, as this will cause the chocolate to curdle).  Spread chocolate on the bottom of one cookie, then sandwich together with a kind of similar looking cookie.

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Verdict? These are CRAZY. They’re crazy. They’re just plain insane…in the brain…of the cookie. I actually thought the booze would bake off in the oven, but it did not. After two of these, I was singing ridiculous ballads and saying very inappropriate things. So I’m totally serious when I say that you should proceed with caution when it comes to these treats.

Categories
Easy Baking Fancy Pantsy Grown Up People Desserts No-Bake Recipes Strange and Yummy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

I’m Brown. You Down? If Not, I Frown. (Basically, I’m Saying There’s Curry In This)

God, I’m such a poet. Right?

No?

Yeah…no. Anyway. I thought I’d try to lighten it up a little here since my last few posts caused some really strange and pitying looks/texts/Facebook messages/group interventions (kidding about that last one, don’t come near me, I’ll bite you).

Now listen here, you sweet, loving, concerned group of people: I am Sad Shibow. I cry a lot. Last Friday, I bawled over the last episode of Fringe. Then I re-watched the scene that initially had me in tears, and I lost it all over again.  I cried the other day because I can’t eat spicy food, and I really miss it. I’m a baby. But, you know, I’m fine. Ulcers suck, colds suck, the ongoing seemingly everlasting quarter-life crisis sucks. But life, overall, does not.

Methinks my change of ‘tude for this post may have something to do with this article, which I read this morning and can’t seem to stop thinking about. We can’t always be happy, but we can always try to find meaning in moments, however awful, or mundane, or wonderful or scary. So that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to remember that all of these things, these ulcers and conflicts and series finales and successfully baked goods, all of them mean something.

Is this getting weird? It is, isn’t it? No? I hope not. I swear, there’s a recipe in here too.  I just thought I’d get a little deep with you guys first, share some of my feelings, and also thank those of you who checked up on me after the last few posts.

Okay, so on to the real reason for that crazypants title: curry! Yes, there be curry in this sweet treat! And it is FANCY!And yes, I realize I am not supposed to be eating anything really spice-related. But ulcer be damned! This treat deserves my and your attention! Let’s get it, kids!

Your major players for today's game.
Your major players for today’s game. (Big up to Patel Brothers!)

Vanilla Curry Caramel Popcorn (I told you! Fancy!)

1 stick of butter

1 1/4 cup of brown sugar

2 teaspoons of curry powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon of baking soda

10 cups of plain popped popcorn ( made from 1/2 cup of unpopped kernels, if you’re making your own, which I really recommend)

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Line two baking sheets with wax paper and set aside. In a medium-sized pot, melt your butter over medium heat, then stir in your brown sugar, curry powder and salt. Bring the mixture to a rolling boil, stirring constantly, then step away and let this thing boil on it own for about five minutes.

Hi. Gosh you're pretty.
Hi. Gosh you’re pretty.

Remove from heat, and stir in vanilla and baking soda until combined.

Now, working pretty quickly, place popcorn in a large bowl. Pour your curry mixture evenly over the popcorn, then use a spoon to try to mix and coat the popcorn evenly. Ridiculous, I know. It is almost impossible to get this coated evenly, but, you know, try your hardest. You’ve all already aced the School of Sad Shibow simply by reading, so don’t go feeling all crazy if this part makes you want to eat your own hair (just me?).

Transfer popcorn to your baking sheets, spread evenly, and let cool completely. Then serve. And, well, be amazed.

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So, this is more of a group snack. I’d just like to say this because, um, I made this for me and my boyfriend, and after about six handfuls each, we both looked at each other and then at the bowl. It didn’t even look like we had made a dent. I mean, I made this about a month ago and still have some. So I guess it’s kind of like the Costco of desserts.

Oh, but that’s not a complaint. You have no idea how satisfying this stuff is. It’s spicy and sweet, reminiscent of caramel corn with a twist. A BIG twist. A very, very welcome twist. Just make sure that you’re either making this for a crowd or you have room in your pantry for enough leftovers to feed yourself until spring.

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Categories
Classic Favorites Doughnuts Strange and Yummy

Doughnut Pass. Go. Go Make This. Make This Now. The End.

How great am I at titles? So great, right? I’m great.

How positively positive do I sound to you? Positive enough? OK, here’s the thing: this week, I am going to actively try to be more positive. Unless I am maimed in a horrible accident or Glen Hansard decides to retire, I will not complain at all this week. No complaints. None.

Why, you might ask? Well, as I’ve mentioned maybe a bajillion and a half times, I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately, and it all seems to have finally caught up with me. Instead of crumbling under it, though, I’ve decided to pretend none of it exists. That’s super healthy, right?

Relax, I’ll deal. But for now, I’m going to be grateful and joyful. I’m also going to be doughnutful. Well, I actually already am doughnutful.

Indeed. There are doughnuts. And cool ones, at that. Can we please all just focus on the doughnuts?

Yes? Cool. Because I am SO proud of these things.

Chocolate Chip Doughnuts With A Whole Lot of Different Toppings (makes 6, but you’ll totally make this again immediately)

3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

pinch of salt

1 egg

4 tablespoons of granulated sugar

6 tablespoons of milk (I used skim, but you can use any kind of milk you want)

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips (Don’t go too crazy…the doughnuts will crumble under the weight of too many chips)

Preheat your oven to 325°F and do a really excellent job greasing a 6-mold doughnut pan. Like, an amazing job.

In a large bowl, beat the egg and add your sugar, milk and vanilla. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt, then add your dry ingredients into the bowl of wet ingredients, mixing until fully incorporated.

Then stir in your chocolate chips, and pour evenly into your pan. This is hard to do if you’re a klutz, but you can and you shall! Positive thoughts! 🙂

Positive thoughts!

Send into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until the tops of the doughnuts spring back a little when you touch them. Let them cool in the pans for 5 minutes, then remove– super easily, since you greased the pans like crazy– and let cool completely. Then you can top them. This is the part where you say “YAY!”

Ok, so, as you can see, we got creative. I say “we” because my boyfriend the sudden baking prodigy was there to assist. Apparently, doughnut toppings are his jam. Seriously. Dude knows his stuff.

Here’s a list of our toppings:

Chocolate Sea Salt

Chocolate and Cinnamon Sugar

Chocolate and Raspberry Pim Cookies (purchased on a whim, regretted purchasing and then decided to use as a topping, which was a pretty good idea)

Chocolate and Lemon zest/Coconut/Sea Salt

Chocolate and Toasted Coconut Curry

Cardamom Glaze

Cardamom Glaze and Toasted Coconut Curry

Now, for the chocolate topping, simply melt about 1/4 cup of dark chocolate chips in a small bowl set over another bowl of simmering water. Then, dip the tops of your doughnuts in the chocolate and refrigerate until hardened. If you plan on adding other toppings on top of your chocolate, wait until you’ve added to refrigerate.

In my opinion, the last four toppings that I listed are the most interesting, and also the tastiest. Boyfriend thought most of them up, so props to him (I claim coconut curry, though. It would be kind of sad if the brown girl did not think up the curry topping first, right?) I’ll take you through the cardamom glaze and coconut curry.

For the cardamom glaze, heat 1/4 cup of confectioner’s sugar, a couple of teaspoons of milk and four cardamom pods in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir until just starting to boil, then remove from heat and start dunking your doughnuts!

For the toasted curry coconut, preheat your oven to 350°F. Spread a big handful (I don’t know, use your judgement) of shredded coconut on a baking sheet and toast for 10-15 minutes, until lightly browned. Then evenly distribute a couple of teaspoons of curry powder (the amount will depend on how much you like curry powder) over the coconut and shake around to mix the two. Then sprinkle over your doughnuts.

Then you may proclaim the joyous words/profanity laden exclamations of your choice. You know, with a smile on your face.

Categories
Cakes Desserts with Fruit Fancy Pantsy Strange and Yummy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Fancy. Weird. Delicious. Well I’m Flattered, But No, We’re Not Talking About Me Silly!

Nyuk nyuk.

And here we conclude the BARBEQUE FEAST/DESSERT EXTRAVAGANZAAAA trilogy that began many moons ago…or like one moon ago. How does that phrase work exactly? Anyone?

Ok, while we all figure that out, let’s chat about shaky ground. I’m feeling like I’m on some. Maybe that’s too strong, but I’m still feeling pretty down. There was one day this week where I’m fairly sure all I ate were chocolate chip banana pancakes, peanut butter, vanilla ice cream and more peanut butter. Life has not been filled with rainbows, friends. It’s been filled with peanut butter and tears. And that is not a blogworthy combination.

So, what the problem is? Well, what the problem is…is lots of things. Future, past, present, atmosphere, apartment, landlord, oven, mean folks, STAMOS (thought I forgot about that monster, huh?), Mercury in retrograde. It just…is. 😦

So…yeah, stressed. I’d elaborate, but I’m pretty sure we’d all really rather hear about something called a Honey, Fig and Rosemary Cake, right? Thought so.

Before I start in on this, does anyone else have trouble finding figs? It should not be as hard as it is. After all, as my mother will tell you, Jesus ate figs. And hey, if they’re good enough for the big J…

Anyway, it sh0uld just be easier.  Ok, let’s get weird.

Honey, Fig and Rosemary Cake (makes one 9-in round cake)

For the cake

2 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

3/4 cup of granulated sugar

2 tablespoons of fresh rosemary, chopped as coarsely as possible

1 tablespoon of freshly and finely-grated lemon zest

6 tablespoons of softened butter

1/4 cup of Rosemary-infused extra virgin olive oil (you can just use regular, but the boyfriend made it and I HIGHLY recommend it)

2 large eggs

1/4 cup of honey

1 cup of milk, room temperature (I used skim)

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

For the Fig Topping

2 tablespoons of butter

12 figs, stemmed and cut in half lengthwise

Salt and pepper

1/2 cup of honey

Preheat your oven to 350°F (yes, you’re using your oven, yes it’s worth it like crazy).

Grease a 9-ince springform or regular cake pan. If you’re using a springform pan, make sure you really grease it, or else it will be a pain in the backside to remove the actual baked cake, and you’ll let loose a string of incredibly creative and incredibly bad, bad words. This is a classy cake, so you don’t really want to be throwing around non-classy language.

You may have noticed that I’ve tweaked some parts of the recipe a bit, which I often do because it’s fun and because I sometimes forget to buy one–ONE– ingredient called for in the original. In this case, I’ve opted for lemon zest. With this, we’re going to make a rosemary-lemon sugar, and because of this, you’re going to love me. Now, you can either pulse together your lemon zest, sugar and rosemary until completely blended or toss in a small bowl and set aside. I opted for the latter, because tossing stuff is easy and I do not own fancy contraptions.

In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt, and set aside.

In a large bowl, beat together butter, oil and rosemary-lemon sugar with a hand mixer on medium speed until fully incorporated and light. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then add your honey and mix just until combined. Now, with the mixer on low, alternate between adding in the flour mixture and adding in the milk. Make sure everything’s mixed together fully. Add in vanilla and then beat for another 10 seconds or so.

Oh, if you’re not crying out “MOTHER OF PEARL, THIS SMELLS AMAZING!” by now, you either hate rosemary or forgot something. Re-check, then proclaim your joy.

Using a rubber spatula, scrape all of the batter into your greased pan, then send into the oven for 40 to 45 minutes, rotating the cake about halfway through the process, and bake until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove cake from pan and let it cool on a rack for about an hour.

Now, to make the figs. Melt your butter in a large skillet over medium heat until it begins to brown and smell a little nutty (YOU SMELL A LITTLE NUTTY!). Add in your figs and season with a bit of salt and pepper, to taste. Cook for about 3 minutes, until the figs start to soften. Stir in your honey and remove the figs from heat.

Level the top of the cake a bit (this is optional, to be honest), then pour your fig-honey mixture over the top, making sure the round is as evenly covered as possible. Serve immediately.

So, on to the verdict. I elected to level the cake top a bit, mostly so that I could have an excuse to try the actual cake. I am a person with little self control when it comes to sweets. This is my curse. This is my blessing. Anyway, OMG. The cake was moist, sweet, fragrant and had the perfect, perfect hint of rosemary. I kind of need it in my life again, right now.

I mean…you’re seeing this right? Imagine tasting it. Oh, you can’t imagine it? Then MAKE THIS. Make it, now. Please make it now. Invite me over, and we’ll make it together. Even Almond Joycha liked it! God, I miss this cake.