You’re A Mean One, Sad Shibow

As I’ve mentioned, I hate Christmas. I hate it for so many reasons that I can’t even fully articulate. I don’t really remember the last “great Christmas” I had.  I do, however, remember the Christmas where I was stuck in a hospital bed playing with a “Joy” (ha!) ornament my aunt had given me while a nebulizer was attached to my four year old face. I also remember the year I somehow contracted a weird stomach virus that left me unable to eat anything– specifically cookies, the only good part of this holiday, WTF– for a solid few days after December 25th. The worst. The WORST!

Here’s what I really hate about this holiday: people just aren’t that nice anymore. There’s too much of a focus on things, on checking off items/people on lists, on stampedes. And the Macy’s at Herald Square just completely freaks me out in December. Have you seen the Santa at Santaland? He wears like three different shades of eyeshadow! That’s just scary.

Okay, I am well aware of the fact that I just had an Andy Rooney-level super-grinch moment. I actually do a pretty solid Andy Rooney impression, by the way. But I don’t completely hate Christmas. Honestly, I get a kick out of shopping for all of the kids in the family, and my stone-cold heart grows to three times its size (is that how it goes?) when I get to deliver their gifts straight to their doors. I love picking out presents for people I love. I love knowing that some people have done the same for me, of their own volition. So maybe it’s just the commercials that bother me– the ones filled with countdowns to Christmas and ungrateful teenagers demanding certain gifts and scoffing at others (C’mon eBay!). And maybe there have been a few isolated incidents that have happened over the years, during this holiday, because of this holiday, that have soured it for me. Or maybe it’s just New York City, which I’m slowly starting to want to punch a little bit. But hey, I do know how to have a little fun:

Whatever my reasons, I know what I do like about this time of year: COOKIES! SO. MANY. COOKIES! And these particular, pretty easy ones have been quite a hit with guests. Behold, the lacy oatmeal sandwich cookie! These are delicious, thin and crispy oatmeal cookies that can be– should be– spread with a thin layer of melted chocolate and sandwiched together. I mean, you can just leave them alone…but why?

Lacy Oatmeal Sandwich Cookie (makes 40 cookies or 20 sandwich cookies)

1 cup of quick cooking or old-fashioned oats (I used old-fashioned because I am your grandpa I guess)

1/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup of butter, softened

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips, melted (If you choose to make these sandwich cookies. You should choose to make these sandwich cookies.)

Preheat the oven to 325°F and line two baking sheets with wax paper. In a medium bowl, combine oats, flour, salt and baking powder. In a larger bowl, mix together sugar, butter, egg and vanilla. Stir in flour/oat mixture until just combined.

Then drop teaspoon-sized balls onto baking sheets. Make sure to use an actual teaspoon for these, to ensure even baking, and leave enough room for these to spread out and flatten.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes (make sure to check on them at the ten-minute mark, since mine were done by then), then let cool completely before peeling off the wax paper. Really, let these cool completely or they’ll break apart in your hands and you’ll be forced to eat the broken pieces. Poor you.

While you’re letting them cool, place the chocolate chips in a bowl with a teaspoon of butter. Set the bowl over a small saucepan filled with simmering water and stir until the chocolate’s completely melted. Spread a thin layer over the flat side of one cookie and top with another cookie. Then eat. And eat. And eat.

These really were quite a hit. My cousins loved them. I’ve also got someone staying with me this week who has repeatedly reached into my NY Giants helmet cookie jar for seconds and thirds (I’m going to be making another batch of these when I get home so that there are fourths to be had as well). That just warms my tiny grinch heart. These will definitely be added to my holiday assortment. Yes, even though I hate this holiday, there will be an assortment associated with it. Maybe I will even make gingerbread men. They will all be frowning and missing an eye. Maybe I will also make tree-shaped sugar cookies. They will have missing branches and purple icing. I fight The Man, because I can. Happy Holidays!

And lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA MOL! I love you my dear cousin, whom I consider my dear little sister, and wish you a year of cookies, cakes, happiness and love. Let’s bake something crazy together ASAP! ❤