Category: Classic Favorites

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites Fancy Pantsy Holiday desserts Pies

Sweet And Sappy And Pies And FOOD! A Sad Shibow Thanksgiving

FRIENDS!

How was your Thanksgiving? Seriously, tell me. As you all [hopefully] know by now, Thanksgiving is, according to yours truly, the best holiday there could possibly be. There is food and booze (uh, where I come from at least…) and desserts and, most importantly of all, the people you love and lurrrrve for whom to be especially grateful. I love it.

So, this year, we went to my parents’ house and insisted on doing almost all of the work. My dad handled the turkey, mostly because a 15-pound bird would be screwed in my care. More importantly, the people who would be consuming that 15-pound bird would be screwed in my care. It’s just not my thing.

Know what is my thing? Fresh baked bread, three-cheese macaroni and cheese, fresh cranberry sauce, roasted brussels sprouts, and three pies. (I only kept it to three desserts since there were six of us and I had to make some savory dishes as well 😉 ) Boyfriend made the most amazing mashed potatoes, and Sylvapotamus killed it with homemade stuffing and some chocolate mousse that I did very bad things to (more on that later).

A small portion of the spread. Oh yeah. We bad.

Take a look at that bird! Gorgeous, right? Ahhhhh….

So, anyway, it has been quite an interesting year. It’s been both trying and wonderful, stressful and blissful. I’m honestly kind of shocked by how different things are from the way they were last year. And by different, I mean better. I’ve got a lovely, handsome gentleman to share a couch (and a kitchen, and a hamper, and, well, a home) with, and I have parents and sisters who’ve welcomed him with open arms and three fingers of Johnnie Walker Black (nice job, Dad). Certainly, life is far from perfect and there is a LOT of work to be done in many aspects of my life. But I’m grateful to have the time to do it, and I’m really fortunate to have the company I have while I do it.

Well, that’s enough of that sap. Geez. Who invited the mushball to this sad-fest? Let’s move on to my favorite part of all of this: DESSERT!

Now, I need to confess something that is incredibly embarrassing for me: I cannot freaking make a freaking pie crust. I have freaking tried so many freaking times and every time my freaking pie crust sucks. Many recipes call for a food processor, which I am too boogie-down-broke to have right now, but I can’t even seem to follow the ones that don’t call for one. I mean, I’ve watched Youtube tutorials and consulted cookbooks and food blog forums, and I just have not gotten down the freaking process. I am so angry about this that I spent time debating whether or not to bust out ANOTHER f-word, but then I decided to keep this post a family show. How lucky are YOU?

So, yeah, there’s that. If you’re making a pie crust from scratch, please consult some other, better resources. I’d provide you with some but I’m not going to help you fail. :(. Anyway, I used frozen ready-made pie crusts. Now, these do not suck, but as many of you know, I hate the idea of not making all dessert components from scratch. But, after many tries and many sticks of butter wasted (R.I.P. hopes and dreams), I decided I had to go with the store-bought stuff, since pies are pretty much mandatory at Thanksgiving dinner.

Now, which pies, you wonder? I went with pumpkin, pecan and chocolate meringue. All three were deemed “must-haves” by various sweet-toothed guests. Since I used a pretty standard recipe for the pumpkin pie (the one found on the Libby’s Canned Pumpkin label), I’m only going to get into the latter two pies. Let’s start with the pecan!

Pecan Pie (makes one 9″ pie)

1 9-inch unbaked pie crust of your choice 😦

2 cups of coarsely chopped pecans + a few whole pecans for the top if you’d like to get fancy up in this pie

2 eggs

1/2 cup of light corn syrup

3/4 cup of brown sugar

1 tablespoon of molasses (if you’d like something milder, I would suggest pure maple syrup)

2 tablespoons of melted butter

2 tablespoons of flour

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla

Preheat your oven to 375ºF. Distribute your chopped pecans evenly along the bottom of your crust. Mix the remaining ingredients and then pour them over the nuts (pecans will rise to the top of the crust at this point).

Top with whole pecans if you please.

Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the filling is set. If you’re worried about the crust burning, you can create a pie shield (basically a foil ring cut to cover the pie crust) and place it on top of the crust about halfway through baking. Once the pie’s done, remove from the oven and allow to cool on the counter completely.

Now, on to the next pie (don’t worry…the pictures are coming 😉 ). Now, the chocolate meringue is something I’m very fond of, mostly because it was one of the first successful desserts I ever made. Heart you.

Chocolate Meringue Pie (makes one 9-inch pie)

1 9-inch baked pie crust of your choice 😦

For the filling

3 egg yolks

1 cup of granulated sugar

3 tablespoons of flour

4 tablespoons of cocoa powder

1/8 teaspoon of salt

2 cups of milk (I used skim)

1 tablespoon of butter

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

For the meringue

3 egg whites

1/8 teaspoon of salt

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

Preheat your oven to 400°F. In a medium-sized saucepan, stir together egg yolks, sugar, flour, cocoa and salt. Whisk in milk, and cook over medium heat. Stir constantly until the mixture comes to a full boil.

Remove from heat, stir in your butter and vanilla, and then pour into pie shell.

Now, let’s make our meringue. So, it’s really important, when beating egg whites, to work with an absolutely spotless bowl, and clean whisks. There shouldn’t be any moisture or bits of batter kicking around, or else you won’t have the stiff peaks a meringue needs. To start, using a stand or hand mixer on high, beat egg whites and salt together until foamy.

Gradually add in your sugar while mixer is on, and continue to beat until stiff peaks form. This may take a little while, so just be patient.

Once done, spread meringue evenly on top of custard, making sure to spread so that the chocolate isn’t visible. Obviously I took the above picture before I finished spreading. Anyway, bake for 10-12 minutes, until the meringue is lightly browned.

So, how did it all turn out?

Pretty well, if I do say so myself. Boyfriend was partial to the pecan, which I was not as crazy about (I guess pecan’s just too sweet for my blood), and I was all about the chocolate meringue. I was also really into Sylvapotamus’s chocolate mousse, to the point where when I accidentally knocked the entire bowl of it over (and broke the bowl) I was still trying to figure out ways to eat it off of the floor. I am sorry Sylvapotamus. 😦

So, that was my Turkey day. And I miss it already.

Categories
Classic Favorites Holiday desserts

You Have To Pumpkin Cinnamon Roll With The Punches. Ugh. Sorry.

If you’re on the East Coast, it has been a trying week for you. If you’re not on the East Coast, maybe it’s been a trying week for you, too, and I’m sorry about that. But, as many of you know, I’m located in NYC, and all of us here have been dealt quite a huge, disastrous blow by the beast that was Hurricane Sandy. I, luckily, did not suffer any damage to my home or person, and neither did any of my loved ones. Hundreds of thousands of people in the tri-state area were not nearly as fortunate, and for those people, I’ve been tearing up a little bit every day. It hurts to see your city hurting. It stings to watch businesses, restaurants, bakeries (!) and bars that you’ve known and loved destroyed. But most of all, it breaks my heart to watch people suffer. As I type this, there is a snowy, rainy, windy, disgusting mess outside that the people affected by Sandy do not need. I think I’m going to cry right now.

But look, crying won’t do anything. Here are some things that will:

This lovely advice blogger is accepting donations to purchase supplies that will be hand-delivered to a Brooklyn church this Saturday, November 10th.

The geniuses behind Brooklyn bakery Robicelli’s have information on their Twitter on where/how you can help.

There is a BRILLIANT “wedding registry” over on Amazon, with an amazing number of items you can “gift” to victims.

Habitat for Humanity is collecting donations to aid in recovery/rebuilding efforts.

The Awl has a frequently-updated list of places where you can volunteer if you’re locally-based.

Monsieur Igloo is offering free consulting/work to businesses in the tri-state area that were affected by the storm. Contact James for details.

Those are just a few of the many ways you can help. I’m a little hesitant to post anything from the Red Cross, since their overhead is kind of bonkers, and I’m slightly suspicious. Also, the above options are all donator-to-donatee (I know that’s not a real word, forgive): every penny you give, every blanket or diaper you buy will go directly to someone in need.

Lastly, I know a lot of weddings were affected by the storm as well. If you know any couples in need of an officiant in the NYC area, please have them contact me, and I’ll be happy to perform their ceremonies free of charge.

Okay. So. I guess it’s still a baking blog, right? Which means I should share a baked good with you? Cool?

Now, this is something I’d been wanting to make, well, forever. Yes, there is pumpkin in it. Of course there is pumpkin in it. You know me by now. You must! Let’s get started, since this is going to take you a little while.

Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls (makes 16 to 18 buns)

For the dough

6 tablespoons of butter

1/2 cup of milk , warmed (I used skim, turned out awesomesaucers)

2 1/4 teaspoons of active dry yeast

3 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling out the dough.

1/4 cup of brown sugar

1/4 cup of granulated sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon of ground ginger

2/3 cups of pumpkin puree

1 large egg

Oil for coating bowl

For the filling

1/2 cup of brown sugar

1/4 cup of granulated sugar

1/8 teaspoon of salt

2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon

For the glaze

4 ounces of cream cheese or Neufchatel cheese, softened

2 tablespoons of milk or buttermilk

2 cups of powdered sugar

Couple of drops of vanilla, optional

Okay, let’s start with the dough. Melt your butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Smitten Kitchen suggested browning the butter, which I love doing and totally recommend. Once the butter’s melted, keep cooking over medium heat until the butter starts sizzling, smelling nutty and forming tiny golden bits. Remove from heat and set aside.

Now, in a small bowl, combine warmed milk and yeast. After a few minutes, the combo should be a bit foamy. If it’s not, sucks for you. Go out and buy yourself some new yeast (FYI, always refrigerate yeast).

Now, in a hand mixer or your gorgeous and perfect stand mixer, combine your flour, sugars, spices and salt. Add about 1/4 cup of your butter to the mixture, and stir until combined. Add the yeast-milk, pumpkin and egg and– if you have one, use a dough hook at this point– run mixer on low for 5 minutes, until dough has formed.

I love this thing so much. Sigh.

Scrape this dough into a large oiled bowl and cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Set aside to rise for at least an hour. In the meantime, butter two 9-inch round cake pans (or square, no shape-hating here).

Now, when the hour’s up, place your dough (which should have doubled in size by now) onto a well-floured surface and roll out  a 16×11 inch rectangle. I just used a cookie sheet because I need guidance.  Brush the rest of your butter onto the dough, then sprinkle filling ingredients evenly over the top.

This is where it all gets real. So, basically, you have to roll this thing up, starting on the long side, until you have as tight a roll as you can possibly get. It’s going to be REALLY freaking messy. Whatever filling you lose along the way can be sprinkled on top of your rolls later, though.

Now, the best way to cut these is also the best way to cut a loaf of bread. With a serrated knife, begin sawing the spiral, using almost no force, back and forth until you’ve got a slice. Keep going until you have the desired number of rolls. Once you do, you can pack them in tightly between your cake pans. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside for the second rise for 45 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Remove the plastic wrap and send into oven for 25 minutes, until the rolls are fluffy and beautiful and you kind of want to eat your entire oven.

So while these are baking, you can make your glaze by combining cream cheese, sugar and vanilla (if desired), and then adding as much milk as you desire for your glaze. Place pans on cooling racks and drizzle with glaze.

Ok, so, as you can see I do not fully understand what “drizzle” means, since these were basically doused in glaze.  They were still awesome, though. Like…amazing. Like, worth the nine or whatever hours of waiting it took to actually finish and be able to consume these. Do yourself some good. Make these.

Make these.

Make these.

Make these.

And…well…hug someone.

Categories
Cakes Classic Favorites Sort of Healthy

ANGRYPANTS! And Sweet Stuff Too.

That may have been the shortest title I’ve written in a while, and possibly ever. But, well, I kind of had a month-long silent breakdown.

What’s a silent breakdown, you ask? Well, it’s basically one in which you, well, I realize that Murphy’s Law can and will interfere with even the best best-laid plans. You want a Meyer’s candle? Well, screw you, we’re fresh out! You’d like a place to live? Ok, hand over your whole life story–dated, copied seven times and collated–and we’ll get back to you. Eventually. Maybe. You want to rent a U-Haul truck for your move once you find that place to live? Nope, sorry. Some lazy low-life is busy buying Scottish hookers with your credit card! (Yep, that really did just happen.)

And, you’re constantly being graded. Well, I am at least. Everyone’s got a number for me, from credit card companies to potential employers to doctors to family to people deciding where I’m going to sleep at night. Everyone is always grading and measuring and determining my worth, based on a scale of 1 to whatever and it makes me SAD. I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I am judged, and the more numbers are assigned to me and it makes me SAD.

Ok, I know, I’m whiny and annoying. This is actually what happens when you decide to refrain from complaining about everything for a week. You get all twitchy and irritated, because you can’t complain about how twitchy and irritated you are. Then your week’s up and you’re grumpy, tired and REALLY FRIGGIN’ HUNGRY FOR SOME SWEETS.

Now, on to the sweet stuff. There’s at least as much sweet stuff in this post as there is, um, unsweet stuff. For one…my boyfriend made me JAM!

THIS IS THE JAM HE MADE ME! The caps are obnoxious and extremely necessary because…LOOK HOW PRETTY!

So, we went to Vermont about a month ago and brought home this pear-vanilla jam that I became obsessed with. Then it was gone from my life (because we ate it all). Then, a few days ago, it was back in my life, for the dear wonderful man in my life had MADE it for me! And it’s amazing. I mean, do you know how long it takes to make this stuff? A long time! The effort, the taste, the everything about it made me cry, I was so happy.

On to more sweet stuff: we got a brand-spankin’ new and beautiful apartment! I can’t wait to move. It was, as some of you close readers may have gathered, an exhausting process, but we’re in and we’re thrilled and I want to hug everyone (except Stamos).

Are you sick of me yet? Please don’t be, because this next sweet thing is an actual, literal sweet thing. It’s angel food cake!

Now, I’m going to be honest: before making this, I was not a fan of angel food cake, probably because the only kind I’ve ever had was out of a box, and that box was kind of nastylicious. But, the boyfriend wanted some and I felt like learning something. So…here goes!

Angel Food Cake (makes one 9×5 loaf)

1/2 cup of egg whites, at room temperature

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

1/3 cup of all-purpose flour

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar

1/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract

So basically, I took a recipe and, thanks to my high school algebra class and a dearth of egg whites, cut it to a third. The original recipe that can be made in a tube pan (nope, still not entirely sure either) can be found here.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF and do NOT grease your 9×5 loaf pan. No, I’m serious. Leave it ungreased. Like, for reals, put the butter down homie.

In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour and confectioner’s sugar, and set aside. Now, in a large bowl, beat your egg whites on low using a mixer until frothy, about 2 minutes. Then, gradually add in your granulated sugar and increase the mixer speed to medium. Beat until stiff peaks start to form, about 3 or 4 minutes, then add in your vanilla and beat on high for an additional 20 seconds.

Next, fold the flour/sugar mixture into your egg white mixture and gently mix until all ingredients are fully incorporated. Spread evenly into your loaf pan and send into the oven for 35 to 45 minutes, until the top of your cake is browned and springs back when you touch it.

Ok, this is the sort of weird part…in order to really get that fluffy fluff, you need to set this cake upside-down on a cool rack for about an hour.

“This isn’t a rack, Sad Shibow!” Yeah well, I’m awesome/special/poor.

This is not easy. This is not easy at all. But if you can do it, do it. I will now show you what went down in my household once our hour was up.

Freshly-whipped cream sandwich loveliness
…Aaaand about five minutes later. No exaggeration.

So…hit? I think so. Well, I know so. There have already been requests for a remake, even though this thing has barely been gone for 24 hours. Sometimes the classics will just get you.

Categories
Classic Favorites Doughnuts Strange and Yummy

Doughnut Pass. Go. Go Make This. Make This Now. The End.

How great am I at titles? So great, right? I’m great.

How positively positive do I sound to you? Positive enough? OK, here’s the thing: this week, I am going to actively try to be more positive. Unless I am maimed in a horrible accident or Glen Hansard decides to retire, I will not complain at all this week. No complaints. None.

Why, you might ask? Well, as I’ve mentioned maybe a bajillion and a half times, I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately, and it all seems to have finally caught up with me. Instead of crumbling under it, though, I’ve decided to pretend none of it exists. That’s super healthy, right?

Relax, I’ll deal. But for now, I’m going to be grateful and joyful. I’m also going to be doughnutful. Well, I actually already am doughnutful.

Indeed. There are doughnuts. And cool ones, at that. Can we please all just focus on the doughnuts?

Yes? Cool. Because I am SO proud of these things.

Chocolate Chip Doughnuts With A Whole Lot of Different Toppings (makes 6, but you’ll totally make this again immediately)

3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

pinch of salt

1 egg

4 tablespoons of granulated sugar

6 tablespoons of milk (I used skim, but you can use any kind of milk you want)

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/4 cup of semisweet chocolate chips (Don’t go too crazy…the doughnuts will crumble under the weight of too many chips)

Preheat your oven to 325°F and do a really excellent job greasing a 6-mold doughnut pan. Like, an amazing job.

In a large bowl, beat the egg and add your sugar, milk and vanilla. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt, then add your dry ingredients into the bowl of wet ingredients, mixing until fully incorporated.

Then stir in your chocolate chips, and pour evenly into your pan. This is hard to do if you’re a klutz, but you can and you shall! Positive thoughts! 🙂

Positive thoughts!

Send into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until the tops of the doughnuts spring back a little when you touch them. Let them cool in the pans for 5 minutes, then remove– super easily, since you greased the pans like crazy– and let cool completely. Then you can top them. This is the part where you say “YAY!”

Ok, so, as you can see, we got creative. I say “we” because my boyfriend the sudden baking prodigy was there to assist. Apparently, doughnut toppings are his jam. Seriously. Dude knows his stuff.

Here’s a list of our toppings:

Chocolate Sea Salt

Chocolate and Cinnamon Sugar

Chocolate and Raspberry Pim Cookies (purchased on a whim, regretted purchasing and then decided to use as a topping, which was a pretty good idea)

Chocolate and Lemon zest/Coconut/Sea Salt

Chocolate and Toasted Coconut Curry

Cardamom Glaze

Cardamom Glaze and Toasted Coconut Curry

Now, for the chocolate topping, simply melt about 1/4 cup of dark chocolate chips in a small bowl set over another bowl of simmering water. Then, dip the tops of your doughnuts in the chocolate and refrigerate until hardened. If you plan on adding other toppings on top of your chocolate, wait until you’ve added to refrigerate.

In my opinion, the last four toppings that I listed are the most interesting, and also the tastiest. Boyfriend thought most of them up, so props to him (I claim coconut curry, though. It would be kind of sad if the brown girl did not think up the curry topping first, right?) I’ll take you through the cardamom glaze and coconut curry.

For the cardamom glaze, heat 1/4 cup of confectioner’s sugar, a couple of teaspoons of milk and four cardamom pods in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir until just starting to boil, then remove from heat and start dunking your doughnuts!

For the toasted curry coconut, preheat your oven to 350°F. Spread a big handful (I don’t know, use your judgement) of shredded coconut on a baking sheet and toast for 10-15 minutes, until lightly browned. Then evenly distribute a couple of teaspoons of curry powder (the amount will depend on how much you like curry powder) over the coconut and shake around to mix the two. Then sprinkle over your doughnuts.

Then you may proclaim the joyous words/profanity laden exclamations of your choice. You know, with a smile on your face.

Categories
Blondies Classic Favorites Sort of Healthy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Blondies Do Not Have More Fun, At Least When They’re With Me. I Know That’s An Awful Title, Please Hear Me Out Anyway.

I posted this on Facebook a while ago to express how I’ve been recently. There really aren’t any words that could do my feelings justice in quite the same way as the following clip.

 

Nothing else to say, really, because that about says it all. Friends, it’s a stressful time.

I know I’m usually kind of shady about what’s going on, but that’s usually because I’m not totally sure. This time around is not much different. We’re packing up our abode and will be out by the end of the month. Where to, you ask? That hasn’t really been all ironed out yet. And therein lies the problem.

Ok, don’t fret lovely people: I’m not going to be Homeless Sad Shibow. It doesn’t have the same flow that “Sad Shibow” does, and anyway I’m a delicate flower and would be eaten alive by the outdoors faster than you could say “Hey loser, could I have that rad icing decorator of yours since you sure as hell won’t be using it anytime soon.” So, no, I won’t be homeless, simply because this body ain’t built for it.

Anyway, shelter’s only one major problemo I’m dealing with. I still don’t really have much in the way of a “five year plan,” like most fancy folks do, or at least a plan that would seem practical. Oh, you’d like to hear this plan? So would I! Here goes:

1. Lots of monies. They can be in American dollars or Canadian dollars. Probably Canadian dollars because they’re made of maple syrup.

2. My own bakery. Maybe not. Probably not. Maybe a cafe? But one that’s not that busy. But it still has to generate lots of maple syrup.

3. Babies. Fat ones.

4. Houses. Yes, houses.

So as you can probably tell, that was more of a stream-of-consciousness exercise than it was a plan. In truth, I’m not sure how much I believe in plans, since things never work out quite the way I expected them to anyway. Alls I’m saying is…oh hell, I don’t know. Want to hear about the blondies I made? Yeah you do.

Blondies (makes 16)

1 cup of packed brown sugar

1/4 cup of butter

1 egg

2 tablespoons of skim milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup of whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

Pinch of salt

3/4 cup of chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F and grease an 8×8″ square cake pan.

In a medium-sized saucepan, heat butter over low heat until fully melted. Stir in milk, sugar, beaten egg and vanilla.

What happens when to try to mix the ingredients directly in your pan. It was a bad day…and a bad idea (but pretty!).

When completely mixed, pour into a large bowl and add in the flours, baking powder, and salt. When you have your batter, fold in your chocolate chips and spread evenly in pan. Send into the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until the top is golden brown. Cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then invert and leave on a separate surface until completely cooled. Then, cut into 16 square bars, get a glass o’ milk ready, and go to town.

Ok, so…I have a confession. I didn’t have any all-purpose flour in my apartment. I’m also lazy and tired and annoyed and didn’t want to go out and get a 5 pound bag of it when I knew I had whole wheat flour, and lots of it, at home. So I used a cup of whole wheat flour. And boy did my sly fox of a man notice. He allegedly “didn’t mind them,” but, well, I kind of did. That’s why mine are under the category of “Stuff Your Parents Would Like.”

For what they are, they’re good. I’ve never been crazy about blondies (I’ll let YOU make the jokes there), but I was pretty happy with them. But I’m not the only judge, so why don’t we check the math for some answers: I’m writing this four days after making these, there are zero blondies left and there is only one other person in my apartment. So I’d say they were kind of a hit with a certain someone else. 😉