Category: Cookies

Categories
Classic Favorites Cookies Holiday desserts

For Christmas This Year, I Got a Brand New Life. And You Got Some Gingerbread Men. Or Women. Or Amoebas.

*Note: This post was supposed to go up after Christmas and before New Year’s. Then, I found a new place, cancelled my internet at the old place, and escaped with my belongings “like a refugee,” as my boyfriend put it. Sorry for the lateness, even sorrier that it will be a while until I’m able to blog again. Lots of love and best wishes for the happiest year yet!

This just made me happy. That's the only reason it's here.

The new life thing’s sort of true. I did get a new apartment! It’s beautiful, it’s in a great neighborhood– so great that I have to call it a “neighborhood” and not just a “hood”– and it’s FOR REAL! Know what else is for real? Packing. Packing is real life, and real life is annoying right now. So, dear readers, it might be at least a couple of weeks before I’m able to bake and post again. I’ll be busy trying to wedge an enormous couch up the steepest, narrowest flight of stairs you’ve never seen (and never will, since you won’t have my new zip code suckas!). Oh, while I have you, if anyone’s willing to lend me any large, empty boxes and a large, empty van (shady!), I’ll happily bake you the treat of your choice.

Moving is very strange. It’s also a little scary. I’ve lived in the same apartment for three years now. I’ve lived in this same ‘hood for just about my entire life. Also, I’ve lived alone for a good chunk of that time, which will [happily] no longer be the case. Still, leaving this place has meant tears, drama, more tears, packing tape, Sharpie markers, and bawling. Tears. Everywhere.

It’s not that I’m all that sad to be leaving the ‘hood. But saying goodbye to something comfortable– even if it’s kind of smelly and comfortable– for something new, pretty and slightly more costly is incredibly trying. I think I’ve developed a Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with my ugly rock-hard couches, because I’m going to miss them a tiny bit. I’m sort of worried I’ll just stress-eat everything in sight, which would eliminate any perishable goods before the big move. It may also eliminate the possibility of me making up that narrow stairway, though. Logic. I got it. In all honesty, I am very grateful to have so much newness at once in my life. It’s a lovely, surprising Christmas gift. (But I still hate Christmas.)

Anyway, before I take this little mini-hiatus, let me leave you with something classic: Gingerbread Folks!

Gingerbread Folks (makes 24 cookies)

1/2 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup of molasses (light or dark, I used dark)

2 teaspoons of ground ginger

1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon of ground nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon of black pepper

2 teaspoons of baking soda

1/2 cup of butter, cut into chunks

1 large egg

3 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

Combine molasses, sugar and spices in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir just until the mixture begins to boil, then remove from heat. Stir in baking soda, and bring over the kiddies, because the mixture will start to balloon and do this:

Ginger Bread Stay Puft Man. I wish there were video.

It looks cooler in person, trust. Stir in butter, egg and flour until the mixture forms a dough. Divide in half, and wrap one section in plastic and set aside while you work with the other. With a floured rolling pin, flatten out the dough to about a 1/4 inch thickness, then start cutting out gingerbread dudes/ladies as you wish. Re-roll the excess and continue to make cutouts until all the dough runs out. Lay cookies flat about 1/2 inch apart on a cookie sheet.

Preheat the oven to 325°F. When fully heated, throw the cookies in the oven for about 12 minutes, until the edges are browned. Let cool completely before frosting…should you decide to frost. And if you should decide to frost, keep reading!

Royal Icing

4 egg whites

4 cups of confectioners’ sugar

Beat egg whites and sugar in a large bowl until fully combined and glossy. Dip one side of each cookie into the icing, then use a butter knife to spread evenly. Decorate as you wish (I used mini chocolate chips and M&Ms in case you decide to copy me because of how cool I obviously am), then leave to dry for 15-20 minutes.

Now, I’m not usually a fan of things that aren’t chocolate based, chocolate filled, and just plain chocolate. But man, gingerbread cookies are what’s UP this time of year! Classic sometimes just can’t be beat. So, while I take this mini-vacay to adjust to a new living situation, please enjoy this timeless sweet. See you next year, kids!

Categories
Cookies Easy Baking Holiday desserts

You’re A Mean One, Sad Shibow

Right, Dove Chocolate? No wonder you and I are so cool with each other. One love.

As I’ve mentioned, I hate Christmas. I hate it for so many reasons that I can’t even fully articulate. I don’t really remember the last “great Christmas” I had.  I do, however, remember the Christmas where I was stuck in a hospital bed playing with a “Joy” (ha!) ornament my aunt had given me while a nebulizer was attached to my four year old face. I also remember the year I somehow contracted a weird stomach virus that left me unable to eat anything– specifically cookies, the only good part of this holiday, WTF– for a solid few days after December 25th. The worst. The WORST!

Here’s what I really hate about this holiday: people just aren’t that nice anymore. There’s too much of a focus on things, on checking off items/people on lists, on stampedes. And the Macy’s at Herald Square just completely freaks me out in December. Have you seen the Santa at Santaland? He wears like three different shades of eyeshadow! That’s just scary.

Okay, I am well aware of the fact that I just had an Andy Rooney-level super-grinch moment. I actually do a pretty solid Andy Rooney impression, by the way. But I don’t completely hate Christmas. Honestly, I get a kick out of shopping for all of the kids in the family, and my stone-cold heart grows to three times its size (is that how it goes?) when I get to deliver their gifts straight to their doors. I love picking out presents for people I love. I love knowing that some people have done the same for me, of their own volition. So maybe it’s just the commercials that bother me– the ones filled with countdowns to Christmas and ungrateful teenagers demanding certain gifts and scoffing at others (C’mon eBay!). And maybe there have been a few isolated incidents that have happened over the years, during this holiday, because of this holiday, that have soured it for me. Or maybe it’s just New York City, which I’m slowly starting to want to punch a little bit. But hey, I do know how to have a little fun:

Andy Rooney wouldn't be caught de-- oh. Never mind.

Whatever my reasons, I know what I do like about this time of year: COOKIES! SO. MANY. COOKIES! And these particular, pretty easy ones have been quite a hit with guests. Behold, the lacy oatmeal sandwich cookie! These are delicious, thin and crispy oatmeal cookies that can be– should be– spread with a thin layer of melted chocolate and sandwiched together. I mean, you can just leave them alone…but why?

Lacy Oatmeal Sandwich Cookie (makes 40 cookies or 20 sandwich cookies)

1 cup of quick cooking or old-fashioned oats (I used old-fashioned because I am your grandpa I guess)

1/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup of butter, softened

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips, melted (If you choose to make these sandwich cookies. You should choose to make these sandwich cookies.)

Preheat the oven to 325°F and line two baking sheets with wax paper. In a medium bowl, combine oats, flour, salt and baking powder. In a larger bowl, mix together sugar, butter, egg and vanilla. Stir in flour/oat mixture until just combined.

Then drop teaspoon-sized balls onto baking sheets. Make sure to use an actual teaspoon for these, to ensure even baking, and leave enough room for these to spread out and flatten.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes (make sure to check on them at the ten-minute mark, since mine were done by then), then let cool completely before peeling off the wax paper. Really, let these cool completely or they’ll break apart in your hands and you’ll be forced to eat the broken pieces. Poor you.

While you’re letting them cool, place the chocolate chips in a bowl with a teaspoon of butter. Set the bowl over a small saucepan filled with simmering water and stir until the chocolate’s completely melted. Spread a thin layer over the flat side of one cookie and top with another cookie. Then eat. And eat. And eat.

These really were quite a hit. My cousins loved them. I’ve also got someone staying with me this week who has repeatedly reached into my NY Giants helmet cookie jar for seconds and thirds (I’m going to be making another batch of these when I get home so that there are fourths to be had as well). That just warms my tiny grinch heart. These will definitely be added to my holiday assortment. Yes, even though I hate this holiday, there will be an assortment associated with it. Maybe I will even make gingerbread men. They will all be frowning and missing an eye. Maybe I will also make tree-shaped sugar cookies. They will have missing branches and purple icing. I fight The Man, because I can. Happy Holidays!

And lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA MOL! I love you my dear cousin, whom I consider my dear little sister, and wish you a year of cookies, cakes, happiness and love. Let’s bake something crazy together ASAP! ❤

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Classic Favorites Cookies

Love That’s Stuffed With Friendship (Ok, My Bad…This One’s About Cookies)

Yes, I do have leftover Oreos from the last post. And yes, I know I can just eat them. But did you really just come here to watch me demo how to properly eat a sandwich cookie? (Twist off, bite into the cream, re-attach, dip into milk, devour, repeat)

I decided to put this under the “Classic Favorites” category because I do consider Oreo cookies and chocolate chip cookies to be both classic and favorites. If you disagree, you know how and where to find me. I’ll win, by the way. I ALWAYS WIN. But can you imagine these two together? Can you imagine them Sumo wrestling and then deciding they didn’t feel like fighting anymore and just wanted to hug forever? If you can, you should probably keep reading, because I like your style.

This is what happened when I Googled "sumo wrestling cookies." You're welcome, readers.

A few months before I started this blog, my friend Anthony posted a link on Facebook that caught my eye. It caught my eye because it was basically a link to a world of greatness, of wonder, of amazing ideas. About an hour after viewing the recipe for Oreo-stuffed chocolate chip cookies, I was whipping butter with sugar and laughing maniacally at what would become the treat that would cause my boss to proclaim, with a massive grin, “that thing was lethal. In a good way. But lethal.” Let’s do this thing.

Now, as I’ve mentioned before, I have my own chocolate chip cookie recipe that I’ve spent years developing, so I only really used the link above as a  go-ahead to do very bad things to Oreos. You’re free to use whichever recipe you please, and to be honest, the finished products in this link do look am-ahzing. Below is my personal recipe, which also kinda rules ;).

Chocolate Chip Cookies That Will Eventually Harbor Fugitive Oreos* (makes 9 cookies)

1 cup of all-purpose or whole-wheat flour (I usually use whole wheat)

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 big pinch of salt

3/4 cup of butter, softened

1 cup of brown sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of dark or semisweet chocolate chips

9 Oreo cookies

*So the crime-scene title is inspired by some CBS procedural drama that decided to start filming on my block. This I find uncool, mostly because I assume they’re going to film the scene of the “incident” at the heart of the episode on my street, making it seem like I live in a sketch ‘hood. I mean, I kind of do, but why’s the rest of the world need to know that?

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate larger bowl, cream together butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in the egg, then the vanilla until smooth. Then stir in the flour mixture and combine until a batter is created. Fold in your chocolate chips and get ready to get hands-y with this.

Before we get to pictures, I should apologize, since this isn’t my best effort photography-wise. In all fairness, I had a guest over for dinner while I was making these, and didn’t want to be rude, hence the hasty snapshots. I’m also just kind of lame.

Let these blobs be a lesson to you: refrigerate your dough, folks.

So, if you’re not into getting at least a little bit messy, this isn’t the recipe for you. Then again, if you’re not into getting a little bit messy, you picked the wrong site to bum around on, because I am all about the hot mess cookie process. Ohhh…the hot mess cookie. Future post, perhaps? Anyway, with clean hands, grab a handful of cookie dough and start covering an Oreo with it. Try to get the entire Oreo hidden so that it appears you’ve got plain ol’ jumbo cookies on your baking sheet.

While working on these cookies this time around, I discovered something that might make the rest of you decide to rename me Captain Obvious: you should really refrigerate the cookie dough for about 20 minutes before working with it. Otherwise you’ll end up with about 40% of the dough stuck to your fingers, and your dinner companion will laugh at you, not be impressed by you. This absolutely did happen to me. When you’ve got yours covered, send them into the oven for 10-12 minutes, until the tops are golden-brown.

Cookie supercontinent

Right, so, as you can see, these cookies spread a little bit. More like a lot. Basically, don’t be like Shibow, sloppily plopping jumbo monster cookies haphazardly onto a baking sheet. Leave a bit of space so that you don’t end up needing to use your awesome skull spatula, given to you by a lovely and deeply-missed former coworker named Julie (thankyouthankyouthankyou!), to wedge these apart.

Cross section (plus rad spatula!). Apologies for blurriness.

Bottom line: these are just as crazy delicious as you think they are. They’re also as big as my head. Need I say more?

Oh, one last thing: with Halloween coming up and my patience waning, I thought I’d ask for suggestions on what to masquerade as. Last year, I was Emo Lady Waldo, which is basically just Lady Waldo with a name tag that reads “Maybe I just don’t want to be found. Ever think of that?” That costume set me back five bucks, which is exactly how much red duct tape costs. I am creative. This year, I was thinking of either being a flapper, something random that I find at Target, or Waldo again. For the flapper outfit, I have a suitable dress, I just need a cheap boa or something, in keeping with my new tradition of using items I already own as costumes. By the way, should I be worried that I’m able to use so many of my everyday clothes as Halloween attire? And is there an awesome costume I’m not considering but should be?

Categories
Bars Chocolate Cheer Cookies

I Make A Pretty Mean Cookie Bar. Oh, Also, I AM THE WORST.

So originally this was going to be the post where I tell you about my fabulous weekend, which, in my world, started on Thursday with a killer TV On The Radio show in Brooklyn. The show really was fantastic, so much so that my throat was sore from yelling and my feet were pretty much numb from all of the crazy dancing I did. On Friday I finally started to get my running game back up after some major/minor/then kind of major again asthmatic issues, then celebrated by baking the delicious treats I’ll eventually get around to telling you all about. I handed out these treats to Sylvapotamus and several friends who were all thrilled with the free sweets. Here I am frolicking through the land doling out presents like Indian Santa, being the good little baker I am. Sounds great right?

Blurry ball of fire= awesome, awesome night.

Sunday, my friend Andrew was kind enough to invite me over to watch the latest Project Runway episode and the Giants game. I thanked him by bringing over beer and some baked goods. Then I thanked him again by smacking him in the face with a pillow and breaking his glasses–his only pair of glasses– in half. So just be forewarned: if you invite me over, I will bring you delicious sweets. Then I will destroy something you need, love, or need AND love. Oh, and the Giants lost, in case you’re not into football. These things may or may not be related.

I am joking about this, but I feel like a total tool. I mean, sure, he’s got contacts, but who breaks someone’s only pair of glasses? I am a bag of lame. I can only hope that the Dark Chocolate Crumb Bars I left him will tide him over until the next visit to the optician.

I know, I am killing it with the segues. I’m just going to get right into talking about the bars so that I can distract myself from thinking about what a monster klutz I am. They’re delicious. They won’t give you 20/20 vision, but they’ll make you smile. There I go again. 😦

Dark Chocolate Crumb Bars

3/4 cup of butter, softened

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

Pinch of salt

1 2/3 cup of dark chocolate chips

14 ounce can of sweetened condensed milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 cup chopped nuts of your choice (optional)

1/2 cup of sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat the oven to 350ºF and grease a 9 x 13″ pan. Beat softened butter, flour, sugar and salt until you’ve got a crumbly/fluffy mixture that looks like this:

Press about 2 cups of the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan and set aside the rest. Throw the pan into the oven for 10 to 12 minutes, until the edges are browned. Meanwhile, combine 1 cup of the chocolate chips in a small bowl with the condensed milk in either or in a small mixing bowl. If you use the saucepan, stir frequently over low heat until the mixture’s fully melted. If you go with the bowl option, microwave the mixture in 30-second increments, stirring in between, until the chocolate is melted and combined with the milk. Stir in the vanilla extract. Remove the pan from the oven and evenly spread the melted chocolate mixture evenly over the crust (make sure you’re using oven mitts while you do this…I’ve got ten burned fingertips that can tell you why).

Meanwhile, stir the nuts, remaining 2/3 cup of chocolate chips, coconut, and other random goodies you might decide to add in (M&Ms perhaps?). Spread this over the chocolate mixture, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the top looks slightly browned and the center is set.

The before.

Remove from oven and cool for about 10 minutes on a wire rack. You can then pop this into the refrigerator to cool completely before cutting into individual bars. You’ll end up with about 30.

Friends and family seemed to really enjoy them. They’re pretty difficult to screw up. I’d post pictures of some of my friends getting into them, but apparently I was too busy beating the crap out of all of them to snap photos. Maybe next time.


Categories
Bars Chocolate Cheer Cookies

I Make A Pretty Mean Cookie Bar. Oh, Also, I AM THE WORST.

So originally this was going to be the post where I tell you about my fabulous weekend, which, in my world, started on Thursday with a killer TV On The Radio show in Brooklyn. The show really was fantastic, so much so that my throat was sore from yelling and my feet were pretty much numb from all of the crazy dancing I did. On Friday I finally started to get my running game back up after some major/minor/then kind of major again asthmatic issues, then celebrated by baking the delicious treats I’ll eventually get around to telling you all about. I handed out these treats to Sylvapotamus and several friends who were all thrilled with the free sweets. Here I am frolicking through the land doling out presents like Indian Santa, being the good little baker I am. Sounds great right?

Sunday, my friend Andrew was kind enough to invite me over to watch the latest Project Runway episode and the Giants game. I thanked him by bringing over beer and some baked goods. Then I thanked him again by smacking him in the face with a pillow and breaking his glasses–his only pair of glasses– in half. So just be forewarned: if you invite me over, I will bring you delicious sweets. Then I will destroy something you need, love, or need AND love. Oh, and the Giants lost, in case you’re not into football. These things may or may not be related.

I am joking about this, but I feel like a total tool. I mean, sure, he’s got contacts, but who breaks someone’s only pair of glasses? I am a bag of lame. I can only hope that the Dark Chocolate Crumb Bars I left him will tide him over until the next visit to the optician.

I know, I am killing it with the segues. I’m just going to get right into talking about the bars so that I can distract myself from thinking about what a monster klutz I am. They’re delicious. They won’t give you 20/20 vision, but they’ll make you smile. There I go again. 😦

Dark Chocolate Crumb Bars

3/4 cup of butter, softened

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

Pinch of salt

1 2/3 cup of dark chocolate chips

14 ounce can of sweetened condensed milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 cup chopped nuts of your choice (optional)

1/2 cup of sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat the oven to 350ºF and grease a 9 x 13″ pan. Beat softened butter, flour, sugar and salt until you’ve got a crumbly/fluffy mixture that looks like this:

Press about 2 cups of the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan and set aside the rest. Throw the pan into the oven for 10 to 12 minutes, until the edges are browned. Meanwhile, combine 1 cup of the chocolate chips in a small bowl with the condensed milk in either or in a small mixing bowl. If you use the saucepan, stir frequently over low heat until the mixture’s fully melted. If you go with the bowl option, microwave the mixture in 30-second increments, stirring in between, until the chocolate is melted and combined with the milk. Stir in the vanilla extract. Remove the pan from the oven and evenly spread the melted chocolate mixture evenly over the crust (make sure you’re using oven mitts while you do this…I’ve got ten burned fingertips that can tell you why).

Meanwhile, stir the nuts, remaining 2/3 cup of chocolate chips, coconut, and other random goodies you might decide to add in (M&Ms perhaps?). Spread this over the chocolate mixture, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the top looks slightly browned and the center is set.

Remove from oven and cool for about 10 minutes on a wire rack. You can then pop this into the refrigerator to cool completely before cutting into individual bars. You’ll end up with about 30.

Friends and family seemed to really enjoy them. They’re pretty difficult to screw up. I’d post pictures of some of my friends getting into them, but apparently I was too busy beating the crap out of all of them to snap photos. Maybe next time.