Category: Easy Baking

Categories
Easy Baking Holiday desserts Puddings Sort of Healthy Vegan Desserts

Pumpkin Bread Pudding, And The Sasquatch That Changed Everything

Originally, this was going to start out as yet another post dedicated to all things pumpkin and Thanksgiving. Now it’s the post where I rant about how tired I am of the city life and need to hunker down in the forest somewhere. Why the forest? Well, I saw this terrible, terrible movie a couple of weeks ago. It was an independent movie that apparently garnered rave reviews at the Sundance Film Festival and caused me to worry about the fate of society (not because of anything particularly moving within the film, but because I can’t understand how a group of reputable professionals who supposedly know a little bit about cinema could stand this thing). I’m hesitant to tell you the name of the movie. As you can probably tell by now, I’m hesitant to even tell you the premise. But it involves a Sasquatch who sounds like James Earl Jones and enjoys peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And it’s a drama. But all I could think of was this:

Just spectacularly awful, but I couldn’t look away, because a. I think I was amazed that the yeti costume from Harry and the Hendersons has held up so well and, b. the film was shot in the forests of Oregon and that kind of made me want to make the entire state my new hiding place.

Yes, I am having visions of picking up my bakeware and hightailing it westward. Maybe it’s the ol’ quarter-life crisis popping up again, or maybe it’s just restlessness from spending my entire life in Da Hurst (That’s Elmhurst, for all of you fancy folk who don’t know Queens. Please don’t Google Map me.), but I am tired. Some random old dude rammed into me on my way home from work the other day, just because he could! Seriously, he went out of his way to walk toward me and knock into me (Yes, I do believe he was certifiably deranged, but still). Some other random young dude stomped on my tiny foot on the F train that same night and did not apologize! ANIMALS!

The chances of me actually fleeing the state anytime soon are pretty slim, but I still think it’s time for a change, for the above reasons and trillions more that have nothing to do with baking. Maybe I need a new neighborhood to call home and a new challenge to completely sink into. Does anyone have an obstacle course you can throw my way, or perhaps a complicated mathematical formula in need of solving? I can’t help with the latter, but I’d be able to find someone who can and maybe make a new friend in the process. Maybe I can even teach the nerd to bake.

Speaking of baking… oh, this is a baking blog, isn’t it? Ok, this bread pudding is legitimately one of my favorite holiday desserts. I’d made it last year and could not wait to bust it out yet again this Thanksgiving. I’d pulled it from an interactive column that the New York Times started last year. All of the recipes are vegetarian or vegan (this one’s vegan), and all of the ones I’ve tried out have been amazing. And that’s coming from someone who enjoys cheese. And bacon. Oh bacon. Wait…no… let’s focus:

Chocolate Pumpkin Bread Pudding

1 cup of coconut milk

15 ounces of canned pureed pumpkin

1/2 cup of brown sugar or maple sugar, or a mix of both if you’re wild like that

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1 1/2 teaspoons of nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon of ginger

1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves

10 cups of cubed, crusty bread of your choice (I used a 14-ounce loaf of French whole wheat bread)

3/4 cups of semisweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli which don’t have dairy in them, if you want to keep it vegan up in here)

2 tablespoons of brown sugar

Confectioners sugar for dusting (optional)

Preheat your oven to 350ºF and grease a 9×13″ baking dish. In a blender, puree coconut milk, pumpkin, sugar or syrup and spices until completely smooth.

Toss your bread cubes with this mixture, then stir in chocolate chips until completely covered. Super easy, right? Even better: this can be a make-ahead dessert, in that you can stir everything together and toss this into the refrigerator, covered, up to three days before you plan to bake it. Um, in that case though, don’t preheat the oven until you’re really ready to bake. I guess that should go without saying, but I’d rather be safe, especially since ya’ll know where I live now.

Sprinkle on brown sugar evenly over the mixture, then bake for 25 to 30 minutes until the top is lightly browned. Cool for about ten minutes, then dust with confectioners’ sugar if you please, and enjoy.

I don’t think this picture does the pudding justice. I really love this dessert. I love it so much that I kept a good chunk of it back in my refrigerator. Sharing, schmaring, am I right? If you ever want to reheat the leftovers, I recommend throwing it back into the oven at 200ºF for ten minutes. Or, if you live in the woods, heat a skillet over a small bonfire. If you’re lacking wood, set out a couple of PB&J sammies for the neighborhood Bigfoot and you’ll be set in no time. God, that movie really ruined me.

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Easy Baking Grown Up People Desserts No-Bake Recipes Sort of Healthy Strange and Yummy

Bloody Delicious Red Velvet Hot Chocolate. I Like To Call It Angrysauce.

ROAR! I AM MAD SHIBOW!

That was pretty threatening, no? No? Oh. Ok, well, maybe I should just talk about my feelings. That’s supposed to be helpful. So late last Monday I was feeling achy and then randomly starting shivering really badly. Like, teeth-chattering, can’t-type-real-words badly. I left work, went to bed, woke up 13 hours later, and could barely move. I didn’t have a cold, I thankfully don’t have the flu, but I was pretty much crippled by some crazy demon disease that still perplexes me. I was in a world of pain that left me at home alone for two full, horribly boring and mostly TV-less (The light burned my eyes. Maybe I’m a vampire now?) days…and then it was gone. Seriously. Whatever hit disappeared as quickly as it had attacked, which left me a little freaked. On a possibly related note, any recent Stamos sightings in the area?

Being alone makes you sad. Don’t get me wrong, though, I fortunately had some lovely friends and family checking up on me periodically, but still. I spent a good deal of time laying in bed, getting to know the cracks in my ceiling better, and that really sucked. Being alone makes you sad. It also makes you want to paint your ceiling a different color.

I was more than happy to return to work on Thursday, and then MORE than more than happy when my cousin George surprised me Friday morning at the office with a peanut butter and jelly doughnut from Doughnut Plant. Oh. My. Promised. Land.

This isn't even the top of the doughnut. My brain was too focused on which corner to rip into first to turn this thing over.

So nice, right? George didn’t even know about my mystery illness when he brought me this square-shaped (Btw, the shape makes the distribution of jelly throughout the doughnut more even. Genius.) gift of amazing. It would have made my day anyway, but this was exactly what I needed to turn a bad week right around. Cousin, you RULE.

Things started to pick up soon after that. I succeeded in spending exactly five bucks on my Halloween costume yet again, and partied it up with the Sylvapotamus Saturday night, despite the fact that there was snow on the ground AND IT’S OCTOBER. Ridic. My camera punked out, but I was able to get a few snaps of our respective costumes in anyway:

Sylv was a pink slip!
Yes, I did go for the flapper outfit.

I’m still pretty winded from whatever it was that attacked me last week, and I’m also seeing red from all of the frustration that illness provoked. In honor of that, and this especially spooky holiday, I give you Red Velvet Hot Chocolate with a Cream Cheese Icing Swirl.

Ok, so this is something that I pulled out of the sky. I mean, I am sure it exists out there, and a quick Google search would confirm as much, but I’ll leave that up to you. This, I am going to base on my favorite hot chocolate recipe, with tweaks by yours truly.

Before we begin, I should tell you that this is not your typical hot chocolate, and not just because it’s red. This is a thicker hot chocolate with an almost pudding-like consistency. It’s also quite dark and rich, so if you like your hot cocoa Nestle-style, maybe this is a no for you. It should really be a yes, though. Just sayin’.

Red Velvet Hot Chocolate (makes 1 serving)

1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons of skim milk

1 tablespoon of sugar

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon of cocoa powder

1/3 tablespoon of cornstarch

1 tablespoon of red food coloring

Combine all ingredients except the food coloring in a small saucepan over medium heat. When the mixture starts to bubble and boil, add the food coloring and stir until blood red. Muahahahaha.

Bloody delicious...

In the meantime, let’s work on our single-serving icing.

Cream Cheese Icing

2 tablespoons of cream cheese

2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar

Mix in a small bowl with a hand mixer until fully whipped. Spoon into an icing decorator if you’re a dork and own one (I’m a dork and own one) or just scoop it into your cup with a regular ol’ spoon.

Pour the contents of your bloody saucepan into an appropriate mug–I’d go for an espresso cup if you’ve got one since these are small but potent servings– and top off with your icing.

So even I was a little shocked at how well this turned out. I was really impressed with how much a simple cup of hot chocolate could be enhanced by a little dollop of icing, but, damn, it could. And it was. I know you can’t really see much, but that’s because I own monstrously large cups for some reason, which makes no sense since I am so small I can barely reach the top shelves on any of my cabinets. Maybe I’m compensating. In any case, have a Happy Halloween, and stay out of trouble, kids.

Categories
Cheesecakes Easy Baking Strange and Yummy

Sad Shibow Loves Surprises [Feat. Oreo Cookies]

I love surprises, but I am rarely surprised. Really. Nothin’ gets past Shibow…usually. So when it happens, I tend to really react. Last weekend, Sylvapotamus surprised me with a friends-and-cousins-filled surprise party that was stuffed with pizza, cake and, uh, eventually, whiskey. And then, Pommes Frites. And then, a place called Winners Bar. Maybe that’s all I need to say to convince you all that it was a really fabulous surprise. Thanks to everyone who lied to me about it…you are all excellent human beings.

In addition to that amazing day and night, I received some seriously sweet birthday presents from my lovely friends Atrish, Sofia and Dhanwanti, including a Betty Crocker cookbook, a set of baking pans, AND….

My new Sad Shibow apron!

Yes, I did tear up a little upon receiving this lovely present in the mail. The combination of receiving a gift, receiving it in the mail and having it be one that’s so personal really touched me. And it’s always a surprise to learn that other people actually read and like this blog, even if those people are people that I love. Thank you, you three beautiful ladies. While I’m at it, thank you to everyone who reads and likes/does not hate this blog. Let’s be friends forever.

Was that too gooey and mushy for you guys? Maybe I’m getting sentimental in my old age. Plus it’s been kind of a confusing and hazy week that I guess contributed to me reflecting on all of the awesome in my life. And there’s a lot of awesome. Did you see that apron? Awesomesauce.

I’ve also realized that it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve baked something, which has also probably contributed to my recent moodiness. So, in keeping with the tradition of surprises, I’m making Mini Oreo Cheesecakes. Where’s the surprise, you say? Well, each mini cake has a full Oreo cookie at the bottom. Did I just ruin the it? I’m a loser. Let me make it up to you with a recipe…

Mini Oreo Cheesecakes (Makes 1 dozen)

18 Oreos– 12 left intact and 6 roughly chopped

1 8oz package of either cream cheese or neufchatel cheese

1/2 cup of sugar

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1/2 cup of sour cream

Tiny pinch of salt

So, if you’ve clicked over to the original link (By the way, is “Foodbeast” not an amazing blog name?), you’ll notice that I’ve halved the recipe. This is for two reasons: 1. People still think it’s my birthday and won’t stop feeding me, and 2. I live alone and can’t find anyone to eat 30 of these right now. But these idle hands need to create, so let’s do this.

Chopped Oreos: As with most things in life, these were incredibly messy, annoying, and WORTH IT.

Preheat the oven to 275°F. Line a muffin tin with liners and place one whole Oreo at the bottom of each. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese with a hand mixer until fully whipped. Gradually mix in the sugar, scraping the sides of the bowl that are certainly splattered with cheesy, sugary goodness (Yay, aprons!) then add the vanilla. Next, beat in the eggs, one at a time, before finally mixing in the sour cream and salt. Stir in the chopped cookies, and pour the mixture into your mouth evenly into each muffin tin.

Bake for 22-25 minutes (mine took a bit longer), until the sides look set and the center still jiggles a bit when you gently shake the pan. If you’re not gentle, you will burn yourself. It will be worth it, but you will burn yourself. Trust. Cool on a rack for about 10 minutes, then send into the refrigerator for about 4 hours to cool completely.

So, as you can see, I went a little overboard with the chopped Oreos. I probably used closer to ten cookies, and while I’m a huge fan of all things Oreo, I’d recommend chopping no more than 6 for a dozen mini cheesecakes, if you really want to get a proper Oreo-to-cheesecake ratio. Obviously I was still pretty happy with where I went with these, and I think you will be too.

Categories
Chocolate Cheer Cookies Easy Baking

I Hope You’ve Got Your Dancing Shoes…Because I Might Need Lessons :(

That’s not true. I inherited Almond Joycha‘s badass moves. But I have a confession. I already confessed to myself because I’m a Reverend now so I can hear confessions and stuff*, but I figured I’d share with all of you as well because I am generous. For this recipe, I made myself a baking playlist that consists of a bunch of fun dance-y songs by artists like TV on the Radio, Rihanna, Phoenix, and Britney. So I was dancing to “Break the Ice” while I was stirring the batter for today’s recipe when I tripped on nothing and set in motion a complicated series of crashes and crumbles that resulted in a broken shot glass and a counter completely covered in flour. I’m pretty sure I am going to live alone forever.

The days have been getting better. There hasn’t been a single raindrop in the vicinity since my last post (though I hear that’s changing…grrrrr), I’ve been going to a few very cool shows (and am heading to a TVOTR show this Thursday omgI’msoexcitedddd!) and am generally just trying to chill. That last one has been especially difficult given that my asthma has been essentially choking me out for the past couple of weeks, but all I can say is sucks to my ass-mar! If you know where that phrase is from without using the internets, I’ll give you some cookies. No joke. I’ll even mail them to you if we’re not close. But I’ll totally know if you cheated.

Anyway, I was sitting around with nothing to do, pretty dazed and lazed from a crazy weekend when my cousin Rhea texted to say she’d be rolling in with the cousins to hang out for a bit. I immediately went to work, because there is no way the fam is coming over to a baked goods-less house. I broke out this book, which I just call the Book of Love now. Sorry man, but I do. I flipped through for a quick, easy, sorta fancy cookie recipe and found just what I was looking for: Truffle Dough Cookies. Sounds classy, huh?

What they're supposed to turn out looking like according to the Book of Love (nope, never gonna stop calling it that). Stay tuned til the end of this post for results! I know you're excited.

Truffle Dough Cookies

1/4 cup plus 4 teaspoons of superfine sugar (I’ll explain)

1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons of cocoa powder

2 tablespoons of butter, chopped

1 egg

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Powdered sugar for fancy dusting

Maybe you all know what superfine sugar is, because you’re smarter than I am. You’re probably smarter than I am, but just in case, let me tell you what I just found out: superfine sugar is not, in fact, the same as powdered sugar. Superfine sugar, also known as caster sugar, is basically sugar that’s 10x as fine as granulated sugar. Powdered sugar is, like, 1000x times finer than granulated. That’s quite a difference. And yes I did learn that the hard way, but my cookies still came out ok. They’ll just turn out better than ok if you actually follow directions. If you can’t find caster sugar, you can pulse the regular granulated stuff in a food processor for about a minute to achieve the same effect. I’m a loser so I don’t have a food processor, but I’ve got a birthday coming up and I’m hoping someone takes pity on my plight. I also really need a spatula. And a hug. Two hugs. Maybe just the hugs would suffice.

Anyway, in a large bowl using a hand mixer or food processor if you’ve got one, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa powder and butter, and mix/pulse until the mixture is crumbly and grainy. I decided to make these cookies right after cleaning my counters and kitchen floors, which is why I really hope you’ve got an enclosed food processor and/or are far more coordinated than I am. Then mix in the egg and vanilla until you’ve got a fudgey concoction, and throw this into the fridge to cool for about a half hour.

Now, preheat the oven to 350°F. Take out the batter and form into walnut-sized balls. Roll the balls in powdered sugar and lay them on a cookie sheet. The recipe said I’d end up with 20 cookies, but one of us was wrong and I’m fairly certain it wasn’t me.  Anyway, throw these into the oven for about 10-12 minutes (mine needed 12), then let them cool for about another ten. Once cooled, if yours don’t flatten, you can give them a tiny nudge, but if you somehow just don’t know you’re own strength, I’d skip this step.

My version!

So the cousins seemed to enjoy them, though I’m sure they’d enjoy them more if I learned what caster sugar was before making them and if I had a food processor and if…

Ah, whatevs. They enjoyed what they got, I’m just sayin’… if you can avoid the misstep I made, avoid it. They really did seem to like these cookies, which I’d show you photographic evidence of, but none of them wanted to take a picture with me. I’m pretty sure they’re ashamed of me. 😦

I did manage to snap a picture of Rhea’s little brother Jacob enjoying a bunch of them though. Enjoy the cuteness below.

*I like to call this “taking certain liberties with my writing.” I am not serious so please don’t confess things to me because if you killed someone and tell me I will freak out and cry forever.

Categories
Bars Classic Favorites Easy Baking

When Life Gives You Hurricanes, Make Lemon Bars

My life has not been simple lately. My dessert needs to be.

Ok so that was hella dramatic, I know. But, homeslices, let me tell you a story. Last week I was in the Bahamas, where a devil-woman-witchface hurricane named Irene decided to piss all over my vacation. Then, she chased me back to my hood and pissed all over my weekend. She might as well have been called Hurricane Stamos. My weekend was supposed to be awesome. Instead, it was spent trying to block out the scent of too-vanilla-scented vanilla-scented candles because I was the last loser to get to Target to purchase a “hurricane stash” and landed all the gross stuff. I ended up with a bad case of cabin fever and a temporary fascination with the movie National Treasure. Have you seen that thing? It’s really bad. I’m very fortunate to have a working phone and computer, which afforded me contact with the outside world, because I’m pretty sure I would have done something stupid like give myself a haircut if I had no one to keep me talking.

Super Sad Shibow

Luckily, everyone I know is safe and sound and pretty much just as delirious as I am. As soon as I was able to, I ran to the grocery store to buy more essentials that had been depleted during Hurricane Nothing (I’d gone into a cabin fever cookie-making frenzy so I needed to re-stock important items like butter, sugar, eggs, chocolate chips, more butter and more chocolate…you know).

Since I was in a sour mood, I thought I’d make something lemon-y. Ha ha, I’m hilario. Lemon bars are also easy and full of butter and sugar, which I obviously needed after an ALL-INCLUSIVE TRIP where I was pretty much forced to eat and drink as much as humanely possible in order to pass the time. See? My life’s difficult.

Lemon Bars

Crust

1/2 cup of butter, softened

1 1/3 cups of all-purpose flour

1/4 cup of granulated sugar

Lemon Filling

2 eggs

3/4 cup of granulated sugar

2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon of baking powder

3 1/2 tablespoons of lemon juice

2 teaspoons of lemon zest (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. In a large bowl, combine the butter, flour and sugar for the crust. You can use a fork or your hands if you’re into feeling things, man. Work into a crumbly mixture, then press this evenly into an 8×8 square pan. Toss into the oven for 20 minutes. You’ll probably be annoyed at this point because when you take it out the crust will [should] still be white and look totally underbaked. You’ll think Irene took your oven when she took your pride and sanity from you. But fear not, it’s supposed to look like that.

Crust, complete with dozens of my frustrated thumbprints

While the crust bakes, prep the filling. Toss your two eggs, sugar, flour, baking powder and lemon juice into a blender and puree until smooth. Super easy, right? When the crust comes out, pour this over it, maybe give the pan a gentle shake to evenly distribute, and send back into the oven for another 20 minutes. When they’re done, you can sprinkle a little powdered sugar over the top if you’re feeling fancy. Let them cool, then cut into squares (I came out with 16).

These hit the spot for me. The crust-to-filling ratio might not please everyone, since there’s only slightly more filling, but I think ya’ll need to calm down and trust the crust. That was pretty terrible. Anyway, they’re good. Kid sister agrees.

On her 4th or 5th bar.

By the way, the next time there’s a massive and apocalyptic hurricane, I am having a party. All are welcome. Admission fee is a cookie.