Category: Sort of Healthy

ANGRYPANTS! And Sweet Stuff Too.

Post author By Shibow
Post date September 29, 2012
No Comments on ANGRYPANTS! And Sweet Stuff Too.

That may have been the shortest title I’ve written in a while, and possibly ever. But, well, I kind of had a month-long silent breakdown.

What’s a silent breakdown, you ask? Well, it’s basically one in which you, well, I realize that Murphy’s Law can and will interfere with even the best best-laid plans. You want a Meyer’s candle? Well, screw you, we’re fresh out! You’d like a place to live? Ok, hand over your whole life story–dated, copied seven times and collated–and we’ll get back to you. Eventually. Maybe. You want to rent a U-Haul truck for your move once you find that place to live? Nope, sorry. Some lazy low-life is busy buying Scottish hookers with your credit card! (Yep, that really did just happen.)

And, you’re constantly being graded. Well, I am at least. Everyone’s got a number for me, from credit card companies to potential employers to doctors to family to people deciding where I’m going to sleep at night. Everyone is always grading and measuring and determining my worth, based on a scale of 1 to whatever and it makes me SAD. I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I am judged, and the more numbers are assigned to me and it makes me SAD.

Ok, I know, I’m whiny and annoying. This is actually what happens when you decide to refrain from complaining about everything for a week. You get all twitchy and irritated, because you can’t complain about how twitchy and irritated you are. Then your week’s up and you’re grumpy, tired and REALLY FRIGGIN’ HUNGRY FOR SOME SWEETS.

Now, on to the sweet stuff. There’s at least as much sweet stuff in this post as there is, um, unsweet stuff. For one…my boyfriend made me JAM!

SONY DSC — THIS IS THE JAM HE MADE ME! The caps are obnoxious and extremely necessary because…LOOK HOW PRETTY!

So, we went to Vermont about a month ago and brought home this pear-vanilla jam that I became obsessed with. Then it was gone from my life (because we ate it all). Then, a few days ago, it was back in my life, for the dear wonderful man in my life had MADE it for me! And it’s amazing. I mean, do you know how long it takes to make this stuff? A long time! The effort, the taste, the everything about it made me cry, I was so happy.

On to more sweet stuff: we got a brand-spankin’ new and beautiful apartment! I can’t wait to move. It was, as some of you close readers may have gathered, an exhausting process, but we’re in and we’re thrilled and I want to hug everyone (except Stamos).

Are you sick of me yet? Please don’t be, because this next sweet thing is an actual, literal sweet thing. It’s angel food cake!

Now, I’m going to be honest: before making this, I was not a fan of angel food cake, probably because the only kind I’ve ever had was out of a box, and that box was kind of nastylicious. But, the boyfriend wanted some and I felt like learning something. So…here goes!

Angel Food Cake (makes one 9×5 loaf)

1/2 cup of egg whites, at room temperature

1/3 cup of granulated sugar

1/3 cup of all-purpose flour

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar

1/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract

So basically, I took a recipe and, thanks to my high school algebra class and a dearth of egg whites, cut it to a third. The original recipe that can be made in a tube pan (nope, still not entirely sure either) can be found here.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF and do NOT grease your 9×5 loaf pan. No, I’m serious. Leave it ungreased. Like, for reals, put the butter down homie.

In a medium-sized bowl, sift together flour and confectioner’s sugar, and set aside. Now, in a large bowl, beat your egg whites on low using a mixer until frothy, about 2 minutes. Then, gradually add in your granulated sugar and increase the mixer speed to medium. Beat until stiff peaks start to form, about 3 or 4 minutes, then add in your vanilla and beat on high for an additional 20 seconds.

Next, fold the flour/sugar mixture into your egg white mixture and gently mix until all ingredients are fully incorporated. Spread evenly into your loaf pan and send into the oven for 35 to 45 minutes, until the top of your cake is browned and springs back when you touch it.

Ok, this is the sort of weird part…in order to really get that fluffy fluff, you need to set this cake upside-down on a cool rack for about an hour.

This is not easy. This is not easy at all. But if you can do it, do it. I will now show you what went down in my household once our hour was up.

So…hit? I think so. Well, I know so. There have already been requests for a remake, even though this thing has barely been gone for 24 hours. Sometimes the classics will just get you.

Tags angel food cake

Blondies Classic Favorites Sort of Healthy Stuff Your Parents Would Like

Blondies Do Not Have More Fun, At Least When They’re With Me. I Know That’s An Awful Title, Please Hear Me Out Anyway.

Post author By Shibow
Post date September 7, 2012
No Comments on Blondies Do Not Have More Fun, At Least When They’re With Me. I Know That’s An Awful Title, Please Hear Me Out Anyway.

I posted this on Facebook a while ago to express how I’ve been recently. There really aren’t any words that could do my feelings justice in quite the same way as the following clip.

Nothing else to say, really, because that about says it all. Friends, it’s a stressful time.

I know I’m usually kind of shady about what’s going on, but that’s usually because I’m not totally sure. This time around is not much different. We’re packing up our abode and will be out by the end of the month. Where to, you ask? That hasn’t really been all ironed out yet. And therein lies the problem.

Ok, don’t fret lovely people: I’m not going to be Homeless Sad Shibow. It doesn’t have the same flow that “Sad Shibow” does, and anyway I’m a delicate flower and would be eaten alive by the outdoors faster than you could say “Hey loser, could I have that rad icing decorator of yours since you sure as hell won’t be using it anytime soon.” So, no, I won’t be homeless, simply because this body ain’t built for it.

Anyway, shelter’s only one major problemo I’m dealing with. I still don’t really have much in the way of a “five year plan,” like most fancy folks do, or at least a plan that would seem practical. Oh, you’d like to hear this plan? So would I! Here goes:

1. Lots of monies. They can be in American dollars or Canadian dollars. Probably Canadian dollars because they’re made of maple syrup.

2. My own bakery. Maybe not. Probably not. Maybe a cafe? But one that’s not that busy. But it still has to generate lots of maple syrup.

3. Babies. Fat ones.

4. Houses. Yes, houses.

So as you can probably tell, that was more of a stream-of-consciousness exercise than it was a plan. In truth, I’m not sure how much I believe in plans, since things never work out quite the way I expected them to anyway. Alls I’m saying is…oh hell, I don’t know. Want to hear about the blondies I made? Yeah you do.

Blondies (makes 16)

1 cup of packed brown sugar

1/4 cup of butter

1 egg

2 tablespoons of skim milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/2 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup of whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

Pinch of salt

3/4 cup of chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F and grease an 8×8″ square cake pan.

In a medium-sized saucepan, heat butter over low heat until fully melted. Stir in milk, sugar, beaten egg and vanilla.

When completely mixed, pour into a large bowl and add in the flours, baking powder, and salt. When you have your batter, fold in your chocolate chips and spread evenly in pan. Send into the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until the top is golden brown. Cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then invert and leave on a separate surface until completely cooled. Then, cut into 16 square bars, get a glass o’ milk ready, and go to town.

Ok, so…I have a confession. I didn’t have any all-purpose flour in my apartment. I’m also lazy and tired and annoyed and didn’t want to go out and get a 5 pound bag of it when I knew I had whole wheat flour, and lots of it, at home. So I used a cup of whole wheat flour. And boy did my sly fox of a man notice. He allegedly “didn’t mind them,” but, well, I kind of did. That’s why mine are under the category of “Stuff Your Parents Would Like.”

For what they are, they’re good. I’ve never been crazy about blondies (I’ll let YOU make the jokes there), but I was pretty happy with them. But I’m not the only judge, so why don’t we check the math for some answers: I’m writing this four days after making these, there are zero blondies left and there is only one other person in my apartment. So I’d say they were kind of a hit with a certain someone else. 😉

Tags blondies, low calorie blondies, whole wheat blondies

Desserts with Fruit Easy Baking Frozen Desserts No-Bake Recipes Sort of Healthy Strange and Yummy Vegan Desserts

Deep Thoughts With Sad Shibow [Feat. Avocado Pops]

Post author By Shibow
Post date July 4, 2012
4 Comments on Deep Thoughts With Sad Shibow [Feat. Avocado Pops]

As you all know, life is rough. As you all also know, I often like to complain about how rough life is. I’m not going to bore you because I’ll seem redundant, and these days if you’d like a refresher on something I’ve said in the past, all you have to do is type some words into the search bar and find your prize. Alls I’ve got to say is that sometimes being an adult is no picnic. Every now and then it’s a ten-course meal at a five-star restaurant. But sometimes it’s just a bowl of cereal from that box of Cheerios you’ve had in your pantry forever.

Wasn’t kidding about those deep thoughts. 😉

Now, let’s be real. Last week was tough on me. In addition to dealing with life’s everyday stresses, I found myself coping with some rather unfriendly behavior from people I believed were in my corner. It was pretty heartbreaking, especially since it involved hurting not only me, but people I deeply love. And no one messes with the loves of Sad Shibow.

So, here I am feeling low thanks to some randoms trying to put together a Bollywood puppet show (Get it? Pulling strings? And I’m Indian? Deep thoughts!) when what do I see on Facebook but Butter Lane‘s latest Blogger of the Week, and it’s…

bloggeroftheweek — Sylvapotamus brought to my attention that this says “worldpress.” What the hell, I say, I’ll take it!

Me! You guys, they picked me! Now, this may seem small to a lot of people, and hey, it is sort of small in the grand scheme of things. But to me, it’s huge, and not only because this place has the BEST cupcakes I have ever allowed into my belly. So, what’s the big deal?

About a year and a half ago, around my 24th birthday, I was in a not-so-great place, for many many reasons. I was so down that I’d lost the desire to do pretty much anything I enjoyed, including bake. I happened to see something somewhere on the great many internets about cupcake classes at Butter Lane, and decided to woman up and book a class. It was so entertaining and enlightening that it made me finally want to get back into my own kitchen. When my boyfriend recently asked me why I loved the place so much, I told him that it basically made me grateful for things again. So…thank you, BL. DEEP THOUGHTS!

Ok, onto the make-stuff portion. Originally I was going to tell you all about the delicious, easy-peasy cookie dough ice pops I made. While they were, indeed, pretty simple to make, I found them to be kind of gross. This is not the fault of the author of this recipe at all. It is, instead, my bad, for believing that skim milk could, and should, always take the place of whole milk. In life, I’ll usually try to take the healthier route when it comes to my eating habits (I say “in life” expecting you all to pretty much ignore every buttery post on here for a hot second). I do the whole wheat bread instead of white thing, the no-soda thing, boringboringblah you get it. I’ve even convinced myself that I enjoyed frozen yogurt much more than I enjoyed ice cream. And while I do like to get my Yogo on every now and then, I recently discovered that I was, to put it as eloquently as possible, trippin’. Ice cream > fro-yo. Who knows what else I’ve brainwashed myself into believing was right. Wait… so just to check… is steak any good?

Anyway, we’re dealing with another odorous NYC heat wave. Everyone smells like the aquarium (Why doesn’t anyone know what that smells like?!) and I’m super cranky all the time, so obviously you best believe I’m not going near the oven. Oh, and, we did kind of just buy and eat a dozen cupcakes over here, so we need something a teensy bit light. Let’s make avocado pops! Weird enough for you? In case they’re not, check these out!

Now, ya’ll know I’ve been meaning to make these forever, but I guess it got cold again before I could. So…yeah. Let’s just do this.

Avocado Pops (Uh, makes, like, a set number of pops, and that number is determined by what you decide to use as molds)

1 cup of water

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

2 small ripe avocados

Pinch of salt

2 tablespoons of fresh lime juice

I used paper Dixie cups, FYI.

Combine the water and sugar in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Let cool to room temperature. This is known as simple syrup, and can also be used for your boozy mixed drink of choice, should you be 21+ and need such information.

Meanwhile, peel and pit your two avocados, and mash the flesh in a medium-sized bowl until smooth. Add in salt and lime juice, then stir in your simple syrup. You can use a blender or mixer if you’re feeling lazy ;).

Pour into your molds and send into the freezer for at least 5 hours. I filled my Dixie cups about halfway, and ended up with five pops.

The night we first tasted these was an excellent night. There was champagne, an even split of the last Butter Lane cupcake, and a viewing of Blues Brothers (I’d never seen it! It was so awesome!). So, how’d these pops do?

I loooooooved these things. LOVED them. They’re creamy, tangy, sweet and unbelievably refreshing. I’m sad I only ended up with five, but happy they are super easy, because these are being made again ASAP.

Tags Avocado pops, healthy frozen treats

Easy Baking Holiday desserts Puddings Sort of Healthy Vegan Desserts

Pumpkin Bread Pudding, And The Sasquatch That Changed Everything

Post author By Shibow
Post date December 2, 2011
3 Comments on Pumpkin Bread Pudding, And The Sasquatch That Changed Everything

Originally, this was going to start out as yet another post dedicated to all things pumpkin and Thanksgiving. Now it’s the post where I rant about how tired I am of the city life and need to hunker down in the forest somewhere. Why the forest? Well, I saw this terrible, terrible movie a couple of weeks ago. It was an independent movie that apparently garnered rave reviews at the Sundance Film Festival and caused me to worry about the fate of society (not because of anything particularly moving within the film, but because I can’t understand how a group of reputable professionals who supposedly know a little bit about cinema could stand this thing). I’m hesitant to tell you the name of the movie. As you can probably tell by now, I’m hesitant to even tell you the premise. But it involves a Sasquatch who sounds like James Earl Jones and enjoys peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And it’s a drama. But all I could think of was this:
Just spectacularly awful, but I couldn’t look away, because a. I think I was amazed that the yeti costume from Harry and the Hendersons has held up so well and, b. the film was shot in the forests of Oregon and that kind of made me want to make the entire state my new hiding place.

Yes, I am having visions of picking up my bakeware and hightailing it westward. Maybe it’s the ol’ quarter-life crisis popping up again, or maybe it’s just restlessness from spending my entire life in Da Hurst (That’s Elmhurst, for all of you fancy folk who don’t know Queens. Please don’t Google Map me.), but I am tired. Some random old dude rammed into me on my way home from work the other day, just because he could! Seriously, he went out of his way to walk toward me and knock into me (Yes, I do believe he was certifiably deranged, but still). Some other random young dude stomped on my tiny foot on the F train that same night and did not apologize! ANIMALS!

The chances of me actually fleeing the state anytime soon are pretty slim, but I still think it’s time for a change, for the above reasons and trillions more that have nothing to do with baking. Maybe I need a new neighborhood to call home and a new challenge to completely sink into. Does anyone have an obstacle course you can throw my way, or perhaps a complicated mathematical formula in need of solving? I can’t help with the latter, but I’d be able to find someone who can and maybe make a new friend in the process. Maybe I can even teach the nerd to bake.

Speaking of baking… oh, this is a baking blog, isn’t it? Ok, this bread pudding is legitimately one of my favorite holiday desserts. I’d made it last year and could not wait to bust it out yet again this Thanksgiving. I’d pulled it from an interactive column that the New York Times started last year. All of the recipes are vegetarian or vegan (this one’s vegan), and all of the ones I’ve tried out have been amazing. And that’s coming from someone who enjoys cheese. And bacon. Oh bacon. Wait…no… let’s focus:

Chocolate Pumpkin Bread Pudding

1 cup of coconut milk

15 ounces of canned pureed pumpkin

1/2 cup of brown sugar or maple sugar, or a mix of both if you’re wild like that

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1 1/2 teaspoons of nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon of ginger

1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves

10 cups of cubed, crusty bread of your choice (I used a 14-ounce loaf of French whole wheat bread)

3/4 cups of semisweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli which don’t have dairy in them, if you want to keep it vegan up in here)

2 tablespoons of brown sugar

Confectioners sugar for dusting (optional)

Preheat your oven to 350ºF and grease a 9×13″ baking dish. In a blender, puree coconut milk, pumpkin, sugar or syrup and spices until completely smooth.

Toss your bread cubes with this mixture, then stir in chocolate chips until completely covered. Super easy, right? Even better: this can be a make-ahead dessert, in that you can stir everything together and toss this into the refrigerator, covered, up to three days before you plan to bake it. Um, in that case though, don’t preheat the oven until you’re really ready to bake. I guess that should go without saying, but I’d rather be safe, especially since ya’ll know where I live now.

Sprinkle on brown sugar evenly over the mixture, then bake for 25 to 30 minutes until the top is lightly browned. Cool for about ten minutes, then dust with confectioners’ sugar if you please, and enjoy.

I don’t think this picture does the pudding justice. I really love this dessert. I love it so much that I kept a good chunk of it back in my refrigerator. Sharing, schmaring, am I right? If you ever want to reheat the leftovers, I recommend throwing it back into the oven at 200ºF for ten minutes. Or, if you live in the woods, heat a skillet over a small bonfire. If you’re lacking wood, set out a couple of PB&J sammies for the neighborhood Bigfoot and you’ll be set in no time. God, that movie really ruined me.

Tags chocolate pumpkin bread pudding, thanksgiving 2015, vegan bread pudding, Vegan Desserts

Easy Baking Holiday desserts Puddings Sort of Healthy Vegan Desserts

Pumpkin Bread Pudding, And The Sasquatch That Changed Everything

Post author By Shibow
Post date December 2, 2011
3 Comments on Pumpkin Bread Pudding, And The Sasquatch That Changed Everything

Just spectacularly awful, but I couldn’t look away, because a. I think I was amazed that the yeti costume from Harry and the Hendersons has held up so well and, b. the film was shot in the forests of Oregon and that kind of made me want to make the entire state my new hiding place.

Chocolate Pumpkin Bread Pudding

1 cup of coconut milk

15 ounces of canned pureed pumpkin

1/2 cup of brown sugar or maple sugar, or a mix of both if you’re wild like that

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1 1/2 teaspoons of nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon of ginger

1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves

10 cups of cubed, crusty bread of your choice (I used a 14-ounce loaf of French whole wheat bread)

3/4 cups of semisweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli which don’t have dairy in them, if you want to keep it vegan up in here)

2 tablespoons of brown sugar

Confectioners sugar for dusting (optional)

Preheat your oven to 350ºF and grease a 9×13″ baking dish. In a blender, puree coconut milk, pumpkin, sugar or syrup and spices until completely smooth.

Tags chocolate pumpkin bread pudding, vegan bread pudding, vegan desserts

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